Please help

[Katybarnfield]

My dd is 3y o. She has never been a brilliant eater and has always been fussy. When i weaned her i gave her the jarred baby fd etc which i feel started the problems. Over the next couple of years she would eat a good breakfast and lunch and loves her fruit but would only eat the baby food. She would then only eat the heinz 1-3 and only certain flavours. I then decided enough and started cooking dinners for her but she not interested at all. She did 'kick off' the first night because she wanted 'her' dinner but now that doesn't bother her at all. I really don't know what to do she was having 3 meals a day but now im cooking dinner she will only eat breakfast and lunch and won't even try dinner.

Sorry to go on but it's really getting me down

How long has it been since you've been giving her your home cooked meals? I would think that it will take a good long while to undo the preference for a limited menu. It's taken 3 years to build up to this point, so it might not be fixed overnight.

Tbh, I would keep offering her the freshly cooked meals, and don't worry about whether she eats it or not. Especially if breakfast and lunch are ok. Presumably she's an ok weight?

You'll have to be persistent but calm with this I feel.

The HVs are not worried nor are the docs it just worries me tbh. Good point about the very limited dinner preference didnt think of it like that. I'm just not sure what im doing for example tonight i served her dinner she didn't eat it, so moved onto next course (yogurt) then she begged me for strawberries and i don't want to deny her food and ended up giving her strawberries then she wanted some ham and cheese! Should i just be happy that she no longer wants these heinz dinners and give her healthy bits or the same meal my OH and i are having? Its just i see other kids having the dinners their parents cook and then theres my dd

I know it's not nice to see them a bit hungry if they've refused your meal, but I really wouldn't get into the habit of giving her whatever alternative she asks for. That could end up being a huge battle.

Each mealtime, decide on a suitable meal (including pudding if you plan to have one) and serve it. Allow a reasonable amount of time for her to eat (whilst you eat yours), and then clear away. Then serve pudding (if you're having it that meal), again leave a reasonable amount of time and then clear away.

To begin with you could cook things that you know she is more likely to eat, as then gradually widen the range that you offer. Try and have something on her plate that she has eaten before.

If she complains of being hungry later on, you could give her a small snack but you choose what it is. Something like a small serving of cheese, a piece of fruit etc.

It may well take some time, but she will get there.

Thank you for the advice i really appreciate it.

What will she eat for lunch?

Could you try offering her what you want her to eat for dinner (i.e the homecooked meal) at lunchtime and see if that makes a difference? SO as to try swapping lunch for dinner and dinner for lunch, maybe she will eat it at a time she isn't so stressed?

Could you buy her a plate with her favourite character on it? My DS loves getting to the end of his dinner to see the picture on the plate.

For lunch she has a sandwich cheese and pickle or marmite or ham yogurt and some fruit. I have tried getting her plates with her fav character, i have her cooking with me which she really enjoys and she will touch the food, smell it etc but as soon as she is at the table she will not eat it. I have tried separating the food into bowls so she can
pick what she wants and making shapes ( she esp likes my saus and mash butterfly) but wont even try it. She just isn't bothered about food. I will put food i know she likes on a plate but atm there isn't food (dinner wise) that she likes (she doesn't even eat chips). I would try to swap the lunch and dinner over but because i work and she is at play-school in the afternoon it doesn't work to have dinner at lunch.

If she's eating a good breakfast and a sandwich plus yoghurt at lunch then she's not going to be wasting away.

I think you just have to keep consistent and persistent - cook the same thing for you and her for dinner, serve it and take it away after a reasonable amount of time. Don't encourage her to eat, don't engage in conversation/arguments about food. Try and talk about other things as much as you can, and try not to worry if she doesn't eat anything. It's going to take a while to make these kind of mealtimes "normal" for her.

You're right ExBrightonBell i've got to stop stressing over one meal. My OH keeps telling me too as well. I really am obsessing over it too much and she isn't wasting away at all. I think ive got to come to terms with the fact this won't happen overnight and it's going to take time. Its crazy how one little thing (dinner) can cause so much stress. I do appreciate all the advice it really has been getting to me and i always find that everyone is really friendly on here, when im reading other posts. Thank you.