Really upset/worried about 8m old refusing to eat

[islingtongirl]

That's it really. Getting progressively worse - eaten nothing today (had some milk - even that a battle). Refuses spoon, mouth shut, head turned, shouts, screams and whines. Wont touch finger food either. Even favourite fruit puree refused. Im finding it all very stressful and have got quite upset this eve. Why is she doing this? I am worried mealtimes are becoming anxious and stressful on both sides. Worried she isnt eating enough. She gets just about 500ml of milk most days but is that enough to thrive on? Any words of wisdom or advice greatly appreciated. Am off to chuck more unwanted homemade food away and have a cry

I had similar, and it was another 2 months before she ate anything and even then her appetite was tiny. But she is 5 years old now and absolutely fine though still a bit of a fussy eater.
Really try not to stress over it. I stressed like mad and it made no difference whatsoever. It only made things worse. I would sit down with a mixture of spoon able food/finger food. Eat together for 25-30 minutes and then clear it away. Accept that there will be some wasted for now.
She might be teething or just having an off day.

It is hard when they refuse food, especially if its something you've lovingly prepared. Try not to worry though, at 8 months she should really be having around 600ml of first stage formula a day, which she almost is, but it doesn't really matter if she doesn't eat food. We all seem to be conditioned to ram as much into them as we possibly can but they simply don't need that much.

How would you feel only giving her solids once tomorrow and the next day, say for breakfast when she's bright and fresh and not feeling tired after a long day?

You could try a purée and give her the spoon while you eat your breakfast, a banana split lengthways or give her some eggy bread or even share some blueberry pancakes.

Agree that she may be teething or just feeling a little off. You could check her mouth for teeth coming through and apply a teething gel, like Dentinox, before you offer solids. If that doesn't work try her with ibruprofen about half an hour before her main meal. Then if she seems jollier, you know something has been bothering her

Try to look on the next couple of days as a rest from weaning for both of you. If she's hungry offer her milk and if she does eat anything else, its a bonus.

If you try to view weaning as an opportunity to get them used to cups, cutlery, sitting at the table and exploring taste and texture it might take a bit of the pressure off

And try to remember the phrase "offer food". It's entirely upto her whether she eats it or not. Some days they just aren't that hungry

Agree with what others have said - we had the same issues a couple of times and each time DS was back on the food a couple of days later. Reasons? Upset stomach, little viruses, and in our case, an almost permanently sore throat and cough (on the worst days, he only wants cold fruit purees straight from the fridge).

Ps going to try those pancakes,look yum!

Breakfast refused again this morning. Both porridge (which she loved up until a few weeks ago) and toast as finger food. Just whined and grizzled until I gave up and got her down. Even tried eating toast with her which worked for about 2 mins. Please tell me this gets better? I am already dreading lunch

My DD was the same - she ate tiny bits but very little. It didn't really get much better until she was about 2, and then had an extremely limited diet. She survived on fish fingers and plain spaghetti for about 3 months
She is nearly 10 now and still quite fussy. However, she does have a very small appetite, and works best on several small meals a day rather than the conventional 3. I think part of my problem was comparing her to her older brother who has always had a huge appetite and I was trying to give her too much.
My best advice is to try and stay calm and not get anxious or cross. I know it is very hard to do but it only stresses out the baby too.
Offer very small helpings so as not to overwhelm - they can always have more. This saves wastage as well which I always found really annoying.
It does get better, but it can take a very long time.

My DTD refused solid food for up to a week at that sort of age (Her brother demolished everything!)

Would advise backing off, offer finger food and the odd spoon when you are eating but don't force the issue. Milk is more important but ebven then their appetite varies. LOok at her intake over the whole week rather than one (bad) day,

oh and I only started doing 2 meals a day at eight months - ddn't do 3 until 9 months. Even then only becuase they wanted it, not because I wanted to!

If she refuses anything, I wouldn't offer alternatives. If you do, she will learn pretty quickly that if she whines the offending item will be removed and something better will be served. Not a situation I imagine you want to get into

How did lunch go? Have you considered just not giving her dinner? She really won't starve

Afternoon! Well lunch wasnt a huge success but better than yesterday - got half a tiny portion of cauliflower cheese and half a yog into her after a lot of persuasion. Didnt let it descend into tears and just took her down at first sign that she wasnt going to have any more. I confess I did give her milk after as was worried she was hungry and wouldnt nap and she took 150ml so clearly was! But you are right I dont want to get into that habit...unsure about dinner!!

Are you offering solids roughly an hour after milk and do you eat with her?

Yes roughly, sometimes a little longer as wanted to ensure she was at least a little hungry. I try to eat breakfast and lunch (sort of) with her but find I have to focus solely on her otherwise she loses interest. Dinner did not go well. Ah well tomorrow is another day and DH is here to help. Its just so draining, feel like its groundhog day, I haven't even showered or dressed today yet! Its like it was when she was a newborn, im regressing!

Have you considered just missing out at least one meal? Alternatively, serve the food, eat your and just chat with her and DH and don't worry if she doesn't eat any. It is absolutely possible that's she's just not hungry

Thanks Julie - we are away at the moment and tried to be more relaxed. Refusing the spoon still - basically refusing any assistance with feeding! Also she isnt drinking as much milk, we barely scraped 500ml yesterday - is that a problem do you think?

I'd really try not to worry about whether she eats or not but try to concentrate on her bottles. Don't worry too much either if she's not having the 600ml yet.

How is she now? Is she looking bright and alert at times?

FWIW my dd refused all assistance with feeding from day one of weaning. For us it made things much easier, it meant I could serve her food on the highchair and chat with her, DS and DH. It also meant I could eat my meal

Oh yes she seems fine - sleeping well, bright/alert, crawling everywhere and causing mischief! So I guess that's fine...thank you. Will concentrate on bottles and embrace a more blw approach! Hopefully one day she will accept a spoon again!

Really don't worry about the spoon. Just let her get on with it herself, then when she's a bit older you can just introduce cutlery.

If you want, you could always give her a spoon.

Spoon at breakfast became a mini catapult!! OH and I had to duck

I am pretty sure that up until 12 months the main source of nutrition is milk and solid food is more for familiarisation, learning etc. So really it would be better not to stress about the solids, you will only make it into an issue. As above, offer them, if she refuses, take them away. Eat with her so you are doing something else rather than just focusing on her and her eating, and so she sees you enjoying food.

As for refusing things she has previously liked, that's pretty normal too, they realise a) they can say no, which is sort of novel it itself and b) the novelty of eating/eating that food wears off! She'll come back to it at some point.

You might also think about when you are giving milk feeds, can be better to offer food before in some cases so the baby is hungry, but then of course not wait until she's so hungry all she wants is milk and will be cross to receive anything else! A bit of trial and error.

Babies don't really starve themselves and while they all have different appetites which may or may not reflect on their appetites when they are bigger, the most important thing is that you don't make food and meal time stressful. Offer the food, take away what's left (even if all), and move on to the next thing.

Thank you gadget, that's helpful. I know the key must be not to stress...am researching more blw recipes and trying to go with it. Will get DD weighed next week just to check all ok. I was 'allowed' to feed her most of a petit filous this morning so small progress (although thats all she had for breakfast despite offerings of banana/mini shreddies on highchair). God knows what lunch will bring! Was also going to bring up with hv but not sure what they can say/do really?

I always found teeth coming through totally stopped the DC wanting to eat at exactly that type of age. Agree with people saying teeth and TRY not to stress.

It is a week now since she last ate a decent meal. And those were small anyway, but I would be so happy if she ate that now!

Have you tried food pouches? I've got a fussy eater but bought some reusable food pouches from little green pouch.co.uk and my baby loves the novelty of it. Even just a few sucks of it is more than she'd ever take from a spoon. Plus it means I can just pop it back in the fridge and give her some more in about 30 mins so it's not wasted. Apple puree is her fave but she's started quite liking carrot now too. That combined with the milk is enough, I'm not too worried as I know she'll grow out of it.
Good luck!

Funny you say that wornout but we were away this weekend and had small success with pouches directly into the mouth! Had to sort of pretend she was directing it and doing it herself tho, if she felt we were controlling it the mouth clamped shut!!