So many problems I don't know where to start!

[SukiTakeItOffAgain]

Hi, I really need some advice please as I'm not doing well on my own

DD2 is 7mo but developmentally more like 4mo due to hospitalisation/sedation as a newborn. She doesn't hold her head up yet, for example, or turn over. She's growing well and a very long baby. She has/had reflux and dairy intolerance so she's on some drugs for that plus on Neocate with infant Gaviscon in.

The Neocate just doesn't do it for her and she is constantly hungry having a bottle about every 3 hours through the day. I've tried adding a scoop of Aptamil with a view to increasing it and getting her on normal formula but she comes out with a spotty face when I do this so I have stopped.

She was going to bed at 7pm and sleeping til 1.30am, then a bottle and sleeping til 6.30 (she's not yet slept through the night). However she's now waking at 11.30pm and then again at about 4am.

I'm very keen to get her weaned but it's going terribly. I puréed my own stuff for her but she wouldn't accept it, so I tried very runny Hipp purees which she accepts but they give her awful stomach cramps and trapped wind. They don't seem to make any difference at all to how hungry or satisfied she is - she still wants the bottles. I want to move her to lumpier stuff as I don't want to end up with a child who won't accept lumps but she won't even have the coarser Hipp stuff and just spits it out.

I try to get 2 solid feeds into her a day but I find it hard fitting in around the bottles and sleep and I've no idea whether I should space everything out evenly or what? Even when I give her a solid feed later on in the day (which I try to avoid due to the pain it seems to cause her) it doesn't make her sleep longer. What am I doing wrong?

With DD1 I did BLW which went really well and I would like to do this with DD2 but I don't know when she's ready for it as her hand/eye coordination is poor and she has severe visual impairment. Can anyone advise me on this?

She starts childminders in 2 months so I'm running out of time and we are so all over the place with no routine.

This is such a mish mash of different issues but I would appreciate anyone who can offer me suggestions, thank you

I would just increase milk bottles to every 2 hrs for now. In another few weeks once her hunger/ sleep is sorted from the extra milk then see how her head control is.
I know baby doesn't have to sit alone to eat but head support is more important

Then I would try something more solid like half a banana. If she can sit on lap/ in high chair and hold things in hand she will be able to lick / suck it as much as she can handle. It will mean more doesn't go in than she can cope with

Ps a childminder should be able to cope with any level of eaten so I wouldn't worry about that. They can give her milk/ whatever she's on then and work with you to increase gradually over time

Btw my youngest didn't eat anything until 8 months and was born on time/ no issues. By a year he was eating better than most peers who started months before

Don't worry about routine or lack of with regard to the child minder - they will be able to manage with a rough pattern. Also children seem to fit in well with whatever happens at childcare!

Have you had the chance to speak about weaning to someone who knows about your dd's specific issues? Can you get a referral to an infant feeding specialist? It sounds like you need some expert input into the best way of approaching this.

Also, weaning/eating solids really doesn't have an impact on sleep, sorry to tell you that! Sometimes it can make sleep worse as they get used to digesting.

I don't have much advice I'm afraid but just wanted to say that I'm in a similar situation with dd2, but for very different reasons (she has Down's Syndrome). Developmentally she is just not ready for BLW, which I'm gutted about, so I'm fairly reluctantly weaning her with purées. I feel paranoid that she's going to be stuck eating these forever if I don't move her on quickly enough to lumpier textures and finger food, but she just can't cope with them .
Sorry, I wish I could be more helpful but didn't want to read and run. I agree that a referral to an infant feeding specialist (usually part of the speech and language therapy team) would be useful - your GP or health visitor should be able to make the referral, although there may be a waiting list. I hope things get easier for you and your little one soon.

Food, especially fruit purées aren't as filling as milk so you shouldn't be expecting sleep to improve at the start of weaning. If she seems hungry, more milk is the way to fill her up.

Have you spoken to a paediatrician for advice about weaning? It sounds like you might need some help given her developmental delays, they might advise leaving it or going about it a different way.