My HV said some things today...

[suzi2]

... and I know that she's 'wrong' but she's got little alarm bells ringing back there and I was hoping for some suggestions and reassurance! I can't believe I'm actually worrying about some of the things she said...

DS is almost a year old and we stopped breastfeeding (rather abruptly due to biting) last week. Since then I have offered cows milk and formula, at different temperatures and in all manner of bottles and cups. He sometimes takes a sip but spits it back out with a slight gag and repulsed look. I asked the HV if a yogurt and some cheese each day was enough and she basically said 'no' and to keep trying with different formulas. So, Q1, any hints on getting him to take something? And what else could I offer if he won't?

But then we started talking about his diet in general and I said that creamy sauces etc were out as he wouldn't tollerate being spoon fed if it wasn't yogurt. She asked, rather aggressively, "what does he eat then?". I replied "things he can eat with his hands" to which she looked baffled at and enquired about how balanced his diet was. I said that I felt it was balanced as I make all manner of 'patties' and things for him as well as veggies etc. She then asked "when did he stop taking food on a spoon" to which I responded "he never has" and she said "so, how did you give him purees?"... I replied that I didn't and she gave me the dirtiest looks. I think she thinks I'm a weirdo...

So, now she basically said that I need to try harder to encourage eating off a spoon as DS needs to learn to eat using cutlery soon. I do offer DS a spoon and fork but he mouths them and couldn't care less. Now I'm worried that he won't learn to use cutlery... What's a normal age for using cutlery? What can I do to encourage him?

Don't worry ignore her. I started my dd (now 3) on purees and at one year the only way she fed herself was with her hands anyway so it makes no odds (she uses cutlery fine now btw). I'm doing BLW with ds (8 months) and find it alot less stressful and I assume he will use cutlery when he wants to as well.

sorry, but pmsl at 'he needs to start learning to use cutlery soon' is she worried he will get thrown out of restaurants or something if he doesnt know which fork to use? this child isnt even one! of course he doesnt need to use a spoon.

no advice re milk, just wanted to point out she sounds a bit of a loon, that bit made me giggle

Firstly, plenty of dairy is as good as milk i was told, are you using ready to feed [rtf] formula or powdered? a lot of breast babies prefer the rtf i have noticed. Also he could be on follow on formula so less intake needed and some brands are rtf.

He will try it when he wants.

Let him play with cutlery and i would still do sauces as some will get in on the food.

Does he like custard? do you use flavoured or plain yogurt?

I like baby led weaning [blw] as baby eats regular foodat their own pace.

As you said, all fruits and veggies are available to him along with pasta, meat and fish.

Personally, i would continue with the way you are as it seems to suit you and your son.

Hope that helps.

GGG i can see the waiter's face.

It's not like he doesn't see other using cutlery, he will get there and at not yet 1 i'm not surprised he is 'playing' with them.

Daft woman- the HV that is.

Q1 I can't help with, have no experince of it at all, however,

My dd is 11 months and also refuses to eat off a spoon. If she can't pick it up, she won't eat it. Like you, I give her stuff that's been made into bite sized pieces, cereal she has stuff like shreddies soaked in milk and then spooned onto her tray so she can pick them up. TBH, I'm not the slightest bit bothered by it. She's my second and my ds was the complete opposite. He wouldn't eat finger foods and would still be quite happy to be fed off a spoon now if I let him, he's 2.5!!

I don't think many toddlers have the control or dexterity to feed themselves off a spoon until they're at least 18 months, if not even older. If you are happy with your ds's diet then ignore the stupid woman. Let your ds play with cutlery, if you can face the horrendous mess that results, let him play with it with a pot of yogurt too. Babies are pretty good at sticking things in pots, it's the getting it to their mouths that's hard!!

A quick thought, have you tried giving him something like twirly pasta with quite a thick cheese sauce? My dd loves picking up pieces of pasta and eats it with bolognase sauce, cheese sauce, tomato and marscapone sauce, etc. She'll also eat stuff like chicken and pasta bakes, jambalaya, curry, all with her fingers. There's absolutely no reason why babies can only get a balanced diet off a spoon.

Sorry, I'm tired and rambling a bit I think. In a nutshell, ignore the stupid HV and do what you've been doing. You're doing a great job by the sounds of it. And remember, lots of cultures don't use cutlery at all.

let him play with cutlery or choose his own set etc. I was told diary counted s milk but dd was 1 year+ so it may be different, I would pick one brand of follow on milk or cows milk and stick to it so your ds get s used to it - it can take up to 10 goes to get used to a taste does your ds have milk in ceral in the morning
I did wonder what blw stood for and wondered if it was something I should explore for ds but it seesm I'm doing it already does your ds drink water perhaps try cows milk and water adn gradually decrease teh amount of water adn increase milk (i think cows milk is recommended after 1 year hoew close to 1 is he

i was having the exact same trouble with milk, dd just wasn't interested. as she's mildly lactose intolerant the only milk she has is goats milk and yogurts, she has is some milk with her cereal in the morning, a yogurt at some point and a small 4/5oz bottle at night. she does have creamy sauces as certain cooked cows milk doesn't affect her but won't touch goats cheese so thats a no go. the doctor who did her 14 month check up said there was absolutely nothing to worry about that she was getting more than enough calcium in what she was eating.

my dd was also refusing spoon foods at one year even though she'd been weaned on purrees and was feeding herself everything but yogurts, and she certainly wasn't starved or malnourished!

forgot to say, we bought dd a cutlery set when she was 15 months just to see how she'd like it and she took to it straghy away, eats all of her food using a fork/spoon in one hand and grabbing handfuls witht he other hand!

Lol! But not very helpful, I agree!

DS is 2.4 and just starting to quite WANT to use cutlery - he has always had it to practise with but never insisted upon iyswim, and up til now has mostly eaten with his fingers, even things like jelly.

My HV gave me a list of the calcium "value" of certain foods when I was concerned about DS not drinking much milk.

I will see if I can link to the htread as I posted it a while back.

Very helpful - in fact you could quite easily make up a whole day's allowance with very little milk consumption.

Thanks everyone - he's 11 days off a year old. Glad to hear that the cutlery thing comes later. she said it was important that he saw DH and I using cutlery but we were thinking about that tonight and realised we eat with our hands more than we use cutlery!

Is goats milk lower in lactose than cows milk? I can't drink cows milk myself (makes me really sick) unless it's in small quantities in things, or its cooked. so i was wondering if DS could be the same. Could maybe try goats milk.

Here you are:

"A child between the ages of 1-8 should have 600mg calcium a day.

Typical amounts are:

1/3 pint (190ml) whole milk provides 225mg calcium

1oz (28g) cheddar cheese provides 210mg

5oz (150g) yoghurt provides 270mg

4oz (112g) baked beans provides 50mg

3 large slices of bread provide 100mg

2oz (56g) sardines provides 310mg "

God it's very simple

You start with the cutlery on the OUTSIDE, then you work your way in

The flat knife is the fish knife

I think that the HVs will test for this knowledge at the 6-9 month check

good luck

Your HV is among the subset commonly known as "mentalists", which is one down from "lunatic", but one up from "loopy as all feck".

FrayedKnot - that's great info thanks. He's having a normal sized yogurt, and ounce of cheese and a slice of bread every day so is getting enough from that as a minimum. Which is very nice to know.

lol morningpaper. I don't usually get bothered by the nonsense my HV spouts, but today my mum was with me and she started putting doubts in my mind too.

Must report though, that recently I met a HV at another practice who was simply brilliant. Completely clued up on everything. I wish she was my HV.

goats milk doesn't have the same casein as cows milk that most commonly causes a reaction, it's higher in most vitamins and minerals than cows milk except vitD but that comes from getting enough sunlight anyway. it's closer to breast milk so easier for baby to digest and has certainly been better for my dd.

if you google it theres absolutely tonnes of info out there on it and it's all facinating reading, i would post links but tbh theres so many articles to choose from i don't know where to start!

Thanks PinkTulips. I used to have it in my tea as a kid (no pun intended) so am happy to switch over for a while and give it a shot with DS.

HV needs to read this then.

(Thanks to JennyLee for the link)