18 month old eats all the wrong things. Tips please! (warning, long post)

[samovar]

I am not sure if this is the right thread, but there doesn't seem to be one for post-weaning issues.

My 18 month old is in the 97th percentile for weight at 12.2 kg but she is such a fussy eater that I feel driven to despair, and would hugely appreciate any tips!

Breakfast is usually ok - cereal (preceded by about 120ml of milk when she gets up) but lunch almost always consists of a yoghurt, sometimes a banana if she will eat it, and a baby jar of fruit (I know she is LONG past the baby jar stage, but it's the only way of significant amount of fruit down here, and she won't eat my homemade purees - if she has the banana, we forgo this).

Tea consists of buttered toast, a laughing cow (on its own), an apple, which she nibbles at, sometimes a bit of carrot, and another jar of fruit puree - she won't eat any of the veg or meat jars. She has about 190ml of milk (from a cup) before bed. Snacks consist of either baby biscuits, raisins, or dried apricots. (sometimes she will eat apricots, but often she won't.)

I do hate giving her jars still, and the only reason i do it is because i am afraid she won't get a) enough to eat, or b) enough goodness from fruit. Although I realise she is hardly a thin little thing, so maybe I can safely dispense with the jar at tea, at least, and be confident she is getting enough. By the way, she used to eat homemade purees when she was younger, including a lot of vegetable ones. But we moved a lot from country to country, and what worked in the UK, did not work in Kenya, where we live now.

I have tried putting other things in front of her, of course, such as the tiny pasta cooked in chicken stock, and omelettes, and various other vegetables (particularly roasted squash or sweet potato) but while she might put things in her mouth, she will spit them out. And with omelettes, for example, she will hand them straight back to me without even trying it. I admit that I don't put enough new things in front of her, and perhaps that is the problem.

But if anyone has gone through this and has any suggestions, they would be most gratefully received. I feel I have done badly by her. Apologies for the rather rambling post...

Sorry to be blunt but that really doesn't sound like a good diet! Theres a lot of sugar in it- from the cereal to fruit to yogurt andthen more dried fruit! I'm guessing she's very accustomed to sweet tastes and is not accepting savoury ones.. I'd cut out the sweetest things (jarred fruit, and yogurt maybe?) and start with sweeter vegetables to get her used to different tastes. At this age she should be eating whatever everyone else is having. Obviously that isn't going to happen overnight but you need to start moving in that direction! She really shouldn't need purees (homemade or otherwise!) at 18m! Maybe try veg like sweet corn or peas that are sweeter on their own, and perhaps plain pasta as a start? Just so she gets used to different textures?

I'd cut out any Snacks too. I know some babies need them but mine never have and it just makes then fussier at mealtimes.

Does she eat at the table at the same time as you and anyone else in your family ? Is she given the same food as everyone else ?

It sounds a bit like your worry about what she is or isn't eating is stressing you out and she'll be picking up on this. Could you try just for a few days to not care so much/ believe she wont starve and just include her in family meals. Give her a plate with the same food as everyone else. Let her pick at it herself and don't give much attention to how much she does or doesn't eat ? She could always have a glass of milk as well if you are really concerned

I know how you feel. My DS is 17 months and he does eat a lot more variety than yours, but not always what I would like him to, and a definite preference for sweet things. He talks so well that he Thinks he can ask for whatever he wants and get it. He doesn't get it, but is very loud and cross about it!

I just give him the same as I'm offering his sister (not a great eater either!) and gene really ignore the demands for down thing else. About 75% of the time, he stops shouting and eats some of it. Mine are both small though - 9th centile. I do worry when they don't eat.

I definitely don't think it's as easy as just 'cutting out the sweet stuff' and giving them sweeter vegetables. If they won't put it in their mouths, they won't eat it! But it's probably worth putting a greater variety in front of her.

Good luck.

Thanks for all the replies. Wakemeupnow We eat breakfast with her, but as her lunch is at noon, and her tea at 5pm, we don't eat other meals with her. I eat eggs on toast (almost) every day for breakfast, and she hasn't shown the slightest bit of interest in them. Although when i'm eating cereal, she does want what I'm eating.

i feel that if i were to give her what i was eating (which isn't very practical, as we generally don't eat till 8pm or so), she would just not touch it. Often, she will look at a plate of something, and then hand it back to me. Perhaps I should move lunch to 12.30 or so, and try to eat alongside her then at least.

Hairy Yes, I agree, it is an overly sweet diet, and i think that's because when i was weaning, i tended to give her the fruit purees, because we lived in Egypt at the time, and the vegetable ones on sale were disgusting (and we didn't have a blender to make our own initially - oh, excuses, excuses!). The yoghurt though is always plain, so that wouldn't be particularly sweet, would it? And I know i need to cut out those jars, just worry that she will then not get enough goodness from fruit and veg. Pretty much the only fruit she will eat is apple and banana, and for veg, the odd bit of carrot.

I will try cutting out the snacks, which i have done before, but didn't make that much difference. But i probably didn't cut them out as fully as i thought i did..

anyway, thanks for the suggestions, which I will give a go.

'New research offers hope for parents of picky eaters
'

www.ucl.ac.uk/news/news-articles/0913/300913-tiny-tastes

www.parentingscience.com/picky-eater.html

Do you find she prefers to hold things and feed herself or be fed?

I've found with DS that I was so worried whether he was eating enough that I sometimes jumped to my usual
Coping strategies a little early. If I left fewer options ten he would eventually give them a go. That said it does make mealtime a long affair and that hasn't improved as he has it older but at least he is eating!!

Whilst it isn't the best diet for an 18 month, you clearly know that anyway and don't need a bunch of strangers to tell you that, but I've found kids do go through fussier phases and less fussy phases. Over time and with experience you learn that it will most likely pass provided you continue to offer a variety of foods (and as their appetite increases again!).

Until he was over three any cold would set DS' eating back.

Now he is five we try to stretch his boundaries and occasionally put new things on his plate but do a mix of safe foods and new foods so it is never. Overwhelmingly new. And never involves mushrooms or visible onions - some battles are too entrenched to make them worth fighting!

With DD who is eight months old we are working hard to be more relaxed than we were with DS and to care more about variety and content than volume but it's hard.

This doesn't exactly answer your question but hopefully encourages you that with a bit of work on variety and taking it slowly your DD will most likely end up eating a variety f foods as part of a family.

18 months can be a tricky time as they start to gain independence and want it in a greater variety of areas. We do what we need to when they are little and you won't have scarred her for life I'm sure!

I think trying to eat with her is a good plan. just have a tiny portion if you are having your proper meal layer but you need to be modelling eating normal food

I personally don't think what she is eating is too bad. Bear in mind kids do go through fussy phases. I think there's an instinctive preference for well known foods at some ages which is there to prevent them from poisoning themselves.

Having said that- here's my thoughts:

If its something you are worried about, then perhaps mealtimes are a little pressured for her? Try giving food at other, more relaxed times? Something to munch in the buggy or in the supermarket trolley. YY to food at the table with you. Bits of what your eating will make her feel included.

Thanks Patilla - it is helpful to know others have faced the same battles. She prefers to eat herself. I've thought of giving her fewer options, but my experience is so far that she then wouldn't eat at all. I know people do say it won't harm them to eat very little at a meal occasionally, but I don't quite feel up to that... besides which, she would be terribly grumpy.

Dash it's true that she will sometimes eat things when less pressured - such as after her lunchtime nap, we will sometimes feed her bits of our food and she will eat it. But if i try the same food at her lunchtime, she won't go near it. It will be as if she has never seen it before. But the feeding from our plate is only an occasional thing as she is usually napping when we eat.

What I would really love her to eat is pasta and sauce, so that i could then start feeding her vegetables that way..

I don't think it will really improve until you eat with her. She needs to see her parent eating the same food she eats. Is it not practical to eat as a family at 6? If not, you need to eat a baby- sized portion with her then, and then eat your proper meal later.

I'd go cold turkey. I've been there and done it and it was the only thing that worked. Stop all the jars, now. She won't be getting much nutrition from them anyway and the fruit sugar will be filling her up. Give her tiny portions of adult food and don't put her under any pressure to eat. Be enthusiastic about the food - "this pasta is so yummy!" - but don't try to persuade her to try it. That way, she can't turn it into a battle. Tell yourself that she is not going to starve herself, and that you are being a loving parent by getting her into good habits. Don't offer an alternative to the food offered, and if she doesn't eat, remove the plate calmly and don't say anything.

It's really hard - I've been there - but if you're consistent it works. My fussy 18m old is now a three year old who eats everything.

It is nothing you have done. Children go through phases with everything, including food. I would keep offering her a variety of different foods and try not to stress too much about it. Perhaps you could offer chunks of cheese rather than the more processes Laughing Cow.

My twins are 14 months and DT2 is going through a picky phase (which I am attributing to her teeth) and even though it stresses me out I try not to worry.

Tonight they were given sea bass, new potatoes, peas and a mini corn on the cob. Pudding was greek yoghurt with a bit of lemon curd in it. DT1 ate the lot, DT2 picked threw most on the floor and ate half a corn on the cob and the yoghurt. What I am trying to say is, I weaned both of them in exactly the same way. One is a fantastic eater, the other not so much. So, you have done nothing wrong.