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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

Good "Naughty" foods...

24 replies

Elf1981 · 10/04/2006 19:32

My DD is now 6 months old. Been weaned since 5 months though she only ever has brekkie at the mo. Only ever had fruits and veggies and the odd rusk. And the infamous chocolate buttons from the in-laws.
She is being looked after in May by the in-laws for a day. They keep wanting to give her chocolate, or sweets etc, and said they'll just do it behind our backs if we only send a brekkie.
So... what foods can I send that seem naughty but are actually not too bad? DH thinks sugar free jelly. I agree its better than their suggestion of ice-cream / jelly tots (!)
Any suggestions other than jelly?

OP posts:

colditz · 10/04/2006 19:35

Crikey not sugar free jelly! It's full of sweeteners and colouring!

Personally, I just wouldn't send her, sorry. If they are threatening to give her chocolate behind your back, they will do it regardless of what you send with her.

gingernutlover · 10/04/2006 19:36

what about the various baby biscuits you can get?

Dior · 10/04/2006 19:45

I would be if I thought they would go behind my back to be honest. I agree that they will do it whatever...are they really the right people to be caring for her for the day if they can't respect your wishes, not to mention the health of your dd?

Ds didn't have chocolate until about 10 months old, and then only a couple of buttons at a time. If she is only having one solid meal a day, then she can't be eating much anyway. It seems mad to repleace any good food she is eating with sweets...especially breakfast!

nowanearlyNicemum · 10/04/2006 19:48

I would murder my inlaws if they gave that kind of food to dd

monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 19:51

What are they, children themselves?! I'd not let them have her until they learn to respect you as their mother.

monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 19:51

as her mother, I mean

CorrieDale · 10/04/2006 19:53

I wouldn't send her. Or I'd send her and say that if any evidence of food other than that on the approved list appears in her nappy (and it would!) then that would be it. Absolutely no unsupervised contact for the forseeable future! But dried fruit is a nice treat. Also plain yoghurt with mashed up fruit. Or slices of mango go down a storm in this house!

monkeytrousers · 10/04/2006 19:53

How about organic rice cakes - come in orange or apple?

nowanearlyNicemum · 10/04/2006 19:53

giving 'naughty foods' or even 'good' naughty foods to a 6 month old is madness imho
still

nowanearlyNicemum · 10/04/2006 19:55

crossed my post with the last two
go with fruit - definitely!!!

schneebly · 10/04/2006 19:58

in laws have bad attitude but if you want a nice snack, humzingers are good. they are good shape for little fingers and only made from dried fruit and rice flour.

Original poster

Elf1981 · 10/04/2006 20:07

She'll be seven months when they look after her.

She's only ever had fruit (tried apple, bananna, mango, blueberries, melon, etc) veggies (carrots, sweet pot, butternut squash, broccili, cauli etc), a couple of reduced sugar rusks and rice cakes etc

They said about how my Dh's step sister would send loads of foods and lists and instructions, but they'd just kind of do what they wanted when she was away (obv she is a lot more relaxed now).

I was hoping for a food that they would see as "naughty" would replace the need for them to "treat" her and would mean that I could still control what she is eating.

I send brekkie to the CM - porridge etc. Sometimes I'll add a rusk, sometimes a rice cake, sometimes a baby yoghurt, but not often. At the weekends I am very inconsitant and only give milk!!

OP posts:

snowleopard · 10/04/2006 20:38

Have to agree you should avoid anything "sugar-free" that contains sweeteners instead. Aspartame in particular is thought to be harmful and will probably be banned eventually. It drives me mad that manufacturers peddle the myth (and many people believe it) that the worst thing a child can have is sugar. A bit of sugar is OK, you just want to avoid it being a main component of the diet. I'd be much more upset if anyone gave my DS a load of artificial sweeteners and colours than if he had a chocolate button or two.

I would tell your inlaws a lot of sugar makes DD worked up and they'll never get her to sleep - so for their own benefit they should keep the choc to a minimum!

tiktok · 11/04/2006 11:24

Elf, this is not really about your dd's diet, but about your relationship with your inlaws. Realistically speaking, one day of rubbish in your dd's life is not going to harm her - what is more harmful (IMHO) is the suggestion that they are prepared to care for her but to put their 'needs' to give sweets above honesty and openness with you, and their lack of willingness to concede to your preferences.

This is not good for the future, when she is more verbal. 'We'll do this, but don't tell mummy!', 'it's our little secret!' , 'don't say to mummy you've had a bag of Krispi-Woffle-Shites, will you?'....and so on. Of course grandparents do things differently from parents, but this whole thing rings alarm bells for me.

Personally, despite the difficulties, I think you need to lay down the law and ger your DH to do the same, backing you up to the hilt.

Squarer · 11/04/2006 11:43

Blimey, Tiktok is branching out into weaning and making sound sense here too. Do you knit TT?

I had a problem with the person that was sporadically looking after my DS Elf (I don't have any family near me). She fed him what I consider to be the biggest load of tripe ever (actually, tripe would have been better for him). One day in his life wouldn't hurt him, but it happened to be the day when I was going for a job interview where I would need a minder for a couple of days a week. I think two days of tripe a week is too much.

They will go behind your back, because they think that it is an ok food, the same as I realised the person looking after my DS would give him Wotsits, Quavers, Milky Bar and a lovely can of macaroni cheese and not one piece of fruit or veg as that is exactly what she fed her own children so she isn't ever going to see my point of view.

Can't you find someone else to look after her?

zippitippitoes · 11/04/2006 11:58

I would be totally firm with them and say no and if they can't promise to do as you ask, then they won't have her..I would say"once she is a bit older and eating more/most meals etc then a few odd bits won't do any harm but at the moment she is just too small and she doesn't need these kinds of thingsa and really won't miss them"

I'm a grandma and these grandparents give us others a bad name

Original poster

Elf1981 · 11/04/2006 12:48

I agree about the relationship thing. I do get on well with them, but once grandkids are in the equation, the relationship alters and though I still get on with them, I disagree when it comes to my daughter.
I think part of the problem is that I am far more uptight with my daughter than their other grandkids (Dh's brothers little boy and DH's step sisters little girl). They're both nearly four now, and from birth the parents were far more relaxed at the idea of PIL's looking after the kids, and they have even taken the kids away on holiday less the parents, which they mention they are planning to do with my dd (without even asking me! - over my dead body!)
I'd asked them ages ago ref looking after dd because my CM is away for two weeks and I cant get the full time off work. So they offered to do a day, which initially was fine. DH is backing me up ref hol and food issue, but its the idea that they'll do it behind our backs. I dont want to stop her going, there are enough "so and so not talking to so and so over such and such" going offs in that family!
And it isn't as if I am annoyed because it's the inlaws as I'd be just as annoyed with my family. I did get my own family winding me up "bad mummy, give her a bit of chocolate" but they wouldn't give her stuff behind my back, and they did shut up when I explained my reasons, still tease slightly but I know they'd never feed her something I didn't want her to have something.

OP posts:

tiktok · 11/04/2006 13:16

Squarer, were you joking about the knitting thing....'cos I have to say I am a demon knitter, and have posted once or twice on knitty-type threads.

Sorry....OT :)

oliveoil · 11/04/2006 13:22

Hmmmmm, well I am of the 'what you don't see doesn't hurt you' school of thought when it comes to inlaws.

I am sure my 2 get all sorts of stuff when I am not there but in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter?

Some of these posts are slightly OTT!

Just send what you would prefer her to eat and say you know they will want to spoil her 'as that is what grannies' are for, but not too much please etc.

Then appreciate the fact that you have family on hand who will love your child as much as you, feeding junk or not.

Squarer · 11/04/2006 14:14

PMSL TT. I hadn't seen you posting about knitting. Welding?

tiktok · 11/04/2006 14:31

Aw, olive, this is a baby aged 6 mths!!! Elf is dead right to be concerned.

My main worry was the 'secrets from mummy' thing which I don't think is healthy.

Squarer - welding, no. You got me there

However, I can always learn.....

Dior · 11/04/2006 19:38

I agree TT. If the dd was over a year, then it wouldn't matter too much what treats she had, because she would be eating more. However, she is only having one solid meal a day (breakfast), and you don't want that meal to consist of chocolate buttons!

Angeliz · 11/04/2006 19:55

I haven't read all the thread but i'm with the first few posters.
If i couldn't trust them to not give her something i'd told them not to she wouldn't be going.

JELLY TOTS???? for a 6 month old????
Are they mad?

Angeliz · 11/04/2006 19:56

Oh yes, my 5 year old gets spoilt rotten at Nanas now, fair enough but my Mam knows better (Or knew better) than to spoil the baby so young.
She's 13 months now though ,(the little one) and i do beleive she had alot of treats there today!

It's the age thing, 6 months is daft!

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