At wits end

[ButterMelonCauliflower]

Ds is 8 months and 11 kg. i've been giving him solids for 2 and a bit months and i just can't find ANYTHING he likes, apart from pureed apple, readybrek and Ella's red pouches. I talked to health visitor briefly and she said "give him anything, have you tried couscous?". He rejects anything ona spoon (apart from fruit) and will eat small bits of veg/ stew/ fish until he realises what's going on.
I know all of this is fine and some babies take longer etc. but he's big, and he's hungry!
I try to be patient but i'm finding it tough. At mealtimes we just sit and look at each other at the table for anything up to an hour. I've tried giving him a bit of whqt i'm eating, I've tried letting him feed himself (both finger food and with a spoon) and he just won't eat.
He doesn't sleep very well at night, i think mainly bcause he's hungry, and me and dh seem to spend most evenings steadily filling him up with milk. He only has 8-12oz during the day, which doesn't seem very much, and (apart froma semi decent amount of porridge for breakfast), only eats about 2 tbsp of food a day
My mum says i should leave him to get hungry, but that seems a bit mean and archaic. But i don't see how he'lllearn to eat if i take pity on him and give him milk all the time.
Any ideas. Going a bit potty....

My DS is a similar age and weight to yours and he eats very little still.

He likes meat and fish but eats them in small quantities.

Milk is supposed to be the main source of nutrition before the age of 1.

My son ate basically nothing until 9.5 months when a switch suddenly flicked in him and he started devouring food. It really is ok for him to do nothing but pick and play with food at 8 months, honestly. I know its scary but it does get easier and better.

Everyone who says let him play with yours or just dump some on his tray to play with are right, thats the best and least complicated way of him learning what to do with it.

And he won't go hungry. He is still getting everything he needs from milk.

I don't think it's the solids here that are the problem and actually 2 tablespoons a day seems quite good.

I think it's the formula that is the issue. He should be on 20 floz of first milk per day according to NHS recommendations, any less than that and you need to talk to your GP about dietary supplements.

Is he having milk when he wakes at night?

As for sitting there for an hour, I wouldn't bother. If he's had a few tastes and decided he doesn't want anymore, then just assume he's not hungry and clear up.

Personally though I'd concentrate on getting the 20 floz in him each day.

Dd used to eat very little too at this point. Most of her intake was still milk. I tried to focus on food as a game, stuff to play with and by 10 mths the balance flipped and the milk began to drop as her food intake increased. She barely got halfway thru a pouch at 8 mths but sucked the pattern off the plate later. Persevere but stop sitting there so long. Food is fun, not torture. Good luck!

My ds1 didn't really eat much solid food until he was well past 1. He was bf so he had plenty of milk, as far as I could tell. I found it so so hard though, when other babies were scoffing massive meals and mine would only have a few organix cheese puffs, if I was lucky. It's really hard but try not to stress about it, keep offering stuff to him and the quantities will increase gradually, and in his own time. My ds1 is tall and well proportioned for his age, he still hates fruit (at 5!) but has a varied taste in food, which is expanding all the time.