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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

feeling wobbly about blw

34 replies

napluster · 04/08/2012 22:25

Ds2 is 6 months and so far excl bf. He can sit up unsupported and has excellent head control and I have been putting some of our food on his tray during family mealtimes as wanted to do blw. He is able to pick the food up and put it in his mouth and is very eager to taste things and suck things and he yells for food but he is gagging whenever he tries to swallow anything. It is actually really scary and now I am thinking that I haven't got the nerve to do blw. Should I just wait another week or two or should I start spoon feeding?
Don't know if it is related but he often gags/chokes when bf aswell although not as frequently now as when he was smaller.

OP posts:

exoticfruits · 04/08/2012 22:29

Do what you feel happy with. The aim is to get him eating the same as everyone else - how you get there is unimportant.

exoticfruits · 04/08/2012 22:30

If you try spoon feeding and he likes it then it is baby led anyway.

BertieBotts · 04/08/2012 22:30

You don't have to do it if you don't want to!

I found it helpful to google some videos (make sure you type BLW or baby led weaning gagging... not just gagging ) because, well, it's easier to watch someone else's child because you panic less, and someone is hardly going to put a video up on youtube of their child seriously choking. So you know the video will end well, you're distanced enough that you can cope, and you can watch the gag through to it's conclusion which will be that the food plops out, quite safely, onto the highchair tray - this is why it's important to wait until your child can sit upright, and never ever use a reclining chair to feed them in.

Gagging at first is normal, and is a sign that your baby is managing the food safely, because his safety mechanism is kicking in. Soon he'll learn to chew and then the swallowing won't be as much of a problem. But if you find it too stressful, then just don't - it's not a requirement, and frankly it's rather messy - there are pros and cons of either method!

HappyCamel · 04/08/2012 22:32

It takes a few weeks but he'll get over it. All kids have to learn to control food in their mouths, with purees it just comes later. My friends who fed purees are struggling to get their kids to eat normal food.

Start with small chunks of stuff you can crush with a fork eg butternut squash, boiled potato, carrot sticks and parsnips, I boiled them slightly longer for dd. Gill Rapley's book and website are very useful.

Flisspaps · 04/08/2012 22:34

As well as the above, take a look at www.babyledweaning.com - lots of good advice on there

exoticfruits · 04/08/2012 22:35

How you feed them has nothing whatever to do with whether they turn out to be fussy eaters! You would think that as adults we never ate yoghurt, soup, mashed potato etc. you don't need to over think it. Give them what you are having if it is suitable.

BertieBotts · 04/08/2012 22:36

YY agree no feeding method is a magic cure for fussiness!

exoticfruits · 04/08/2012 22:38

Fussiness generally has nothing to do with the food - it is a power struggle when they realise they have a will of their own!

OlympickingMyNose · 04/08/2012 22:39

They all gag at first with solid food. It does make you panic, but it's ok. It's how they learn.

exoticfruits · 04/08/2012 22:40

Mine were fed exactly the same way, one eats anything, one is fussy and one is very adventurous with food - they have been like that from little.

schmee · 04/08/2012 22:44

What sort of foods are you offering him? Things that have structure but melt in the mouth e.g. those Organix baby wotsits type things may be best.

He may have a really sensitive gag reflex - in which case purees might weirdly be worse for him.

ClaireMarathonFeeder · 04/08/2012 22:46

I started with purees with my first two and they had no probs whatsover progressing to "proper" food!!

And everything exoticfoods said.

Purplevi · 04/08/2012 22:49

Stick with it, baby is still learning to eat so will gag, but the gag reflex is very far forward. It is a long way from choking. This process is about baby having control of how they eat and how much they eat, they eat more slowly than with purees so will have a better chance to learn to respond to their stomach being full and stopping. He is eager because it is all new and exciting. Some babies really don't start eating properly till much later than 6 months so it is not a rush, just keep up the milk feeds and they will get plenty of calories and other important nutrition. Statistically no more babies choke with blw than with spoon feeding, in fact the spoon feeding overrides the gag reflex as it is not lumpy on their tongue. Go on baby centre to the blw group there for support from lots of blw mums.

spammertime · 04/08/2012 22:52

Totally agree with exotic. It's just like sleep habits, it's so easy to look at what has worked or not worked for you and make unfair assumptions about the rest of the population.

My first son had purées and then moved on to solid food without a problem, the second one did kind of blw. Although I have to say I'm just not someone who could cope with proper blw - the thought of the massive mess a baby could create with a bowl of spaghetti bolognaise makes me feel ill! So my ds2 tended to have what we ate, but without me pureeing it, and I'd spoon in as necessary.

Do what makes you feel happy. Whether they are a fussy eater or not will NOT depend on if you did blw or not, I can guarantee it.

Original poster

napluster · 04/08/2012 23:19

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I started looking on youtube at some blw videos but it is getting late now so I will search for more tomorrow.

I liked exotic fruits comment that the aim is to eat family meals - I need to keep that in mind.

I would like to let him feed himself (because I am lazy!) and I am not in a rush to stop breast feeding so the amounts eaten don't worry me so much.
And I have a plastic mat so not so worried about mess. haha.
I will just see how it goes I suppose and do what seems right at each meal time.

OP posts:

spammertime · 04/08/2012 23:46

plastic mats are not enough... You would need wipe down floors, walls, everything really...

Or maybe I just have extremely messy children

Purplevi · 05/08/2012 00:20

Good or bad Luke with mess. Five weeks in and he hardly drops anything

Purplevi · 05/08/2012 00:21

Luck luck luck, bloody ipad

fhdl34 · 05/08/2012 05:46

my DD also sometimes chokes whilst breastfeeding and I just sit her up. She is also self-feeding and gagged quite a bit at the beginning but now only does so if what she's trying to swallow is a bit bigger. We have a lot of roasted vegetables, she loves roast courgette, sweet potato, onion and I like it because the flesh is soft inside so she sort of skins it all and it gets mushed up in her mouth. Apart from roast onion, that she just sucks the life out of :) it didn't take her long to learn to put just a bit into her mouth. Even with green beans yesterday which were very long, she still only put a bit in, they learn so quickly. But if you're not comfortable, maybe you should try spoon feeding. My DD won't entertain anything going in her mouth that she hasn't got control of herself! The twice she's had to have calpol has been a pink stained nightmare

FreelanceMama · 05/08/2012 06:42

Agree that www.babyledweaning.com is a great site and forum. There's nothing wrong with doing a bit of careful spoonfeeding until your baby's gag reflex moves back a bit. have you tried giving him a spoon ready loaded with something sticky e.g. Hummous, thick greek yoghurt, mashed avocado? So he can learn for himself how far to go?

Also try giving him a milk feed an hour beforehand, or a quick 'snack' just before so he's not so hungry that he's trying too fast.

We gave our son a spoon to play with before weaning and he gagged loads but kept putting it in his mouth so maybe he learned that way..

exoticfruits · 05/08/2012 07:11

Life would be so simple if you could feed your baby to ensure that they didn't turn out a fussy eater! Unfortunately many parents pat themselves on the back because their DC eats anything, is a joy to go out with, and isn't bothered about sweet things etc - then they hit the 'terrible twos' (or even the not so terrible twos) and they have a fussy eater who is down to a handful of foods.
There is no way around it. It can happen to absolutely anyone. It is pure luck if you have a good eater.

Original poster

napluster · 05/08/2012 22:01

I gave him a spoon to play with today and he put it in his mouth in the 'right way' as if he was copying us. I think I will load it with something sloppy tomorrow and see if he can amaze me by spoonfeeding himself!
I think he is just so happy to be sitting at the table with us he grins from ear to ear.

Have had to clean bits of tomato off the wall already so the plastic mat comment was a bit tongue in cheek!
Exotic fruits - I know what you mean - I was so proud of ds1 as he had a pretty good diet when he was small and then one day he came home from nursery and announced 'I don't like vegetables'. It has taken me 2 years to get him to eat carrots and broccoli! So I know this stage is not necessarily indicative of future eating habits. However I wasn't joking about the lazy bit - I really do hate spoonfeeding. I only did it a couple of weeks with ds1 before I found out about blw and he had finger food all the way after that. I don't remember him ever having trouble chewing or swallowing though I suppose that is what has freaked me out a bit.

OP posts:

HappyCamel · 05/08/2012 23:22

Spoonable foods are fine, the key is that he feeds himself. For sloppy foods I even held the spoon but dd had to guide it to her mouth. Its led to brilliant appetite control on her part, she'll give me back a half eaten piece of chocolate and happily refuse pudding if she's full.

I'm hoping that if she's always allowed control over what she eats she'll never binge eat and overeat like I used to because I was always expected to not waste food and finish the portion.

He will soon stop gagging, he's learning to control the food in his mouth and babies have a gag reflex towards the middle of their tongue. The Rapley book describes the biology behind it really well. Smaller mouthfuls would make it easier for him but it depends in is dexterity. It honestly only lasts a week or two.

exoticfruits · 06/08/2012 07:08

I don't know how you can overfeed a baby with a spoon- I never managed to get a spoonful down if they didn't want it!

fhdl34 · 06/08/2012 07:38

I helped look after my brother's twins when they were babies and it was very easy to overfeed the boy as he'd happily take spoonful after spoonful and then eventually would throw up if you hadn't stopped feeding him early enough. He just never would indicate when he'd had enough. The girl twin would though.

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