Stop trying to feed my child crap!!!!

[whimsicalquark]

My DD is 8.5 months old , i like to think I feed her a healthy diet, i try and follow all guidelines. But my pet hate at the min is various friends and family members trying to feed her crap all the time and its starting to make me really annoyed.

For example when I visit my gran she started waving the biscuit packet at DD and saying tell mummy to let you have a yummy biscuit, obv DD trys to get the packet and then when I say no and take it away DD cries she tells me im cruel!!

My MIL took her out the other day and I sent her off with a healthy fish and veg combo when she came back MIL said oh she didnt want her lucnh so I gave her an icecream !!!
Iv tried to explain countless times that DD does not know what choc/biscuits etc are so does not want them and will be perfectly happy with a plain breadstick etc to snack on but it falls in deaf ears

my friends are the same always buying her bars (yes whole bars) of choc and then getting funny when I try and politely explain that I dont want her to eat that kind of food.

I get the impression that somehow ppl think im criticising their parenting choices by refusing to let my DD have what their children have, as quite often I get told 'well it didnt do my children any harm' but i couldnt give a s**t what other ppl feed their kids my baby is not to have choc/sweets or any other crap

argh it makes me so mad!!!

At that age my dses were eating pretty plain, healthy food - with the occasional rusk - no biscuits or chocolate. It sounds like you are giving your dd a very good diet, and in my opinion, even if someone doesn't agree with your choices for her, they shouldn't be undermining you - though I might change my tune if someone was complaining that their friends and family were tempting their baby with broccoli and fish, instead of sticking to the pureed burgers that were their choice for the baby's diet.

Your family should listen to you and accept your choices for your baby.

You are perfectly reasonable. At this age they don't know what fizzy drinks or chocolates are. They will be perfectly happy if you just give them water or fish and veg. They should respect you for trying to establish good eating habits.

I had this all the time OP

My own mother used to tut and laugh at me (but she's a terrible mother in so many worse ways) so I didn't expect her to get it.

Just expect a few more disgruntled friends and relatives until it sinks in.

Oh how annoying and undermining. Various family members used to feed DS (now 3 1/2) rubbish in secret. I only found out on his 1st birthday when I offered him what I thought was his first taste of cake only to have certain members of DH's family sniggering in the background. Turned out they were regularly feeding him those cadbury's buttons corner desserts, ice cream and cake when my back had been turned. They simply could not grasp that I would see this as anything other than a bit of harmless fun. But it's ok because it "did him no harm" (except agrivate his eczema maybe?!?!) and "we all turned out fine" (except your whole family have eczema, asthma and allergies?!?!)

Needless to say this was not repeated with DD.

But they don't get it though and this is what makes it frustrating isn't it? My own parents are very health conscious. But my ILs have no set mealtimes and eat crap when they are hungry. I was so shocked at their eating habits when they stayed at our place after DD was born. If its not for the dinner DH cooked for everyone, they would have eaten nothing but digestives and coffee all day. We stocked the fridge so they can make sandwiches for lunch. They were cereals and toast for breakfast. But they didn't eat any of that! It did do them harm in the long term. My parents aren't on any long term meds at all, while both ILs are taking a lot of pills everyday. They are the same age too.

Exactly. DH's family did, to their credit, realise what a betrayal of trust this was, especially my MIL (who is actually a very kind woman and really meant no harm) and I had several heartfelt apologies. However the apologies were over the trust issue and it galls me to know that they still believe I was being precious and wrong over the whole food thing (I also delayed solids past the point at which they felt comfortable).

They are a family who value anecdotal evidence over all else and regard scientific recommendations as faddy and for the gullible. It would have taken a lightening bolt from heaven to stike DS down as he gummed his chocolate button for them to conclude anything other than 'it did him no harm'.

I realise I have no actual advice for you. Sorry. It's a rubbish situation!

No advice but I hear you....in my case its DH who's the problem

I know, my MIL wanted to give my DD a chocolate chip cookie the day after we started weaning, she came running into the room with it and asked if DD could have it, I said no. I'm glad she asked though and DD is rarely alone with her but it's crazy.

My PILs have just been visiting and heavily insinuated that I was a cruel and heartless mother for refusing to give my 5 MO a chip to chew at a pub lunch! Particularly irritating as thay had previously criticised for weaning too early as we've started DD on purees. I suggested there is maybe a difference between mushed up carrot/butternut squash etc and deep fried processed products but nevermind. I have an ominous feeling that this may continue

I know just how you feel, I was appalled when I picked up DD from nursery when she was 8 months old and they found it funny to show me the picture of her covered in chocolate ice cream...8 months ffs! I do let her have limited chocolate and biscuits now she is 2 and able to ask for them, but whilst their too young to know about the unhealthy stuff, what's the point giving it to them? I'm still made to feel like a fussy mother when I don't allow ds (4.7 yrs) sweets and fizzy drinks. Sorry but he can be hyper enough without all those colours, sugar or aspartame.