How involved is your partner?

[tory79]

I ask because in 4 months of blw dh has cooked for ds 5 times - and 2 of those were blueberry pancakes. He will give him food if I prepare it, and does give him breakfast (as he always has ready brek!)

Just wondered if this was normal or if other peoples partners are more involved?

That's more than my DH has done!

Not very!
I did all the research etc. and decided when to start/what to give.

After a while I got annoyed that DH didn't seem to care/be in the slightest bit interested, but then I realised that I'm also in charge of our food (what to buy/cook etc.) so it's a logical extension of that.

DH does all the cleaning/DIY stuff. I do the cooking. Although since I got pregnant and gave birth he's been gradually learning how to cook, although the shopping list still seems beyond him

However, I admit that at the moment my parents (who look after DS as I work) do all the cooking. I just defrost stuff at the weekend.

Also as I EBF DH got very used to food being my department! And I weaned DS before going back to work and DH is out of the house for all of DS' meals during the week...

Mine doesn't really cook. He makes pancakes in the weekend. He can also give DD toasts and cereal for breakfasts, but that's not cooking isn't it? Otherwise, if he stayed at home with DD, it's omelettes, omelettes and more omelettes. Unless I left something for him to reheat.

Oh he can cut up fruit too, if that counts! like strawberries, cherries or grapes.

Oh ok I don't feel so bad now! I think dh a.) doesn't like the mess (hence why he will never give ds fruit!) and b.) he just can't seem to get to grips with deciding what to give him.

That is also a good point about ebf - ds is the same, never had a bottle either, so I guess dh is just used to me being responsible for feeding!

But 21 meals a week is bloody wearing especially with all the clean up, I do wish he would get a bit more involved at the weekends!

I think you need to tell him!

I admit that one of the reasons I didn't got for BLW was the mess...we do purees (getting lumpier) and some finger foods. DH was very against BLW because of the mess and his face when I gave DS some homemade sponge cake was a picture - it went everywhere ! He did help me clean up but I could tell he wasn't impressed

I have told him but he just says he doesn't know what to do I think the main problem is he is very much a convenience food person who would happily live off pizza, takeaway curry and chicken dippers if he could so the thought of actually COOKING is a bit daunting (plus I genuinely think he thinks it's my job!) I'm trying to introduce the idea that at weekends we each take a day to be in charge of food so I get a day 'off' (although somehow I still seem to be the one clearing up...)

DH is the king of ready meals

It was only when I was pregnant and very ill that he started learning how to cook. He still doesn't enjoy it though.

How do you normally decide what to eat? We don't eat together in the week (I eat my main meal at lunchtime in the canteen and DH eats a readymeal in the evening) but from about Wednesday I start asking what he fancies eating at the weekend, and working out who will cook what...

If he really isn't keen on cooking (and some people aren't) I think you just need to tell him to clean up.

When I first had DS I tried to avoid telling DH what to do because I didn't want to nag him. But I was annoyed as he never took the initiative to change nappies or whatever. We talked about it and I found out he actually wanted to be told what to do! So now I do. He's getting a bit better at anticipating what DS needs but it's a slow process!

Oh and any chance you could do batch cooking to give yourself a break? Then just defrost on the day?

Another ebf baby here so food still my dept. dd is mixed puree/finger food. in fact the couple of times i've asked him to feed her dh got so stressed by the mess it was counter productive! He also seems to struggle with the concept of how long her meals take. dd likes to savour her food!

ginger

DH was once feeding DS and it was soooo slow, as per usual. DH's face when I brought out the pudding to feed DS too! He's still not used to slowing down to DS' pace.

Although DS now gobbles his food that we have to slow down for him otherwise he just throws it up again

I've had a similar pudding related face!

DH is pretty good when he's around - he's generally only there for weekends because of his work - but he has this thing about wanting to be the 'fun' parent.

So he'll feed DS and prepare food for DS if it's something he (DH) likes, like pudding, or scrambled egg and toast.

If it's something else, like carrots and broccoli most recently, he tends to pull disgusted faces and say things like 'Mummy says you have to eat this nasty horrible broccoli before Daddy can give you your yummy fruit for pudding'

Makes me very

Haha darkfever I feel your pain, although dh doesn't vocalise his hatred of vegetables to ds, I've laid down the law there, but dh only eats carrots really and considers most other vegetables to be the work of the devil

And yy again to the mess being an issue - if ds reaches a dirty hand out towards dh he has a fit. I must say, I did not see this coming, I did not think dh would be so bothered by it.

Bart I am sooo rubbish at meal planning. Every weekend I think right, do a plan for the week, and end up winging it most days which doesn't help with the stress! I do have a few things in the freezer, currently a variety of muffins, some bean burgers, some meatloaf and some pots of bolognese but I could really do with a better variety of stuff and some full meals - any tips?!

eggy bread is my never fail option! It is the least messy way to offer egg I found!
And toasted sandwiches (in one of those student breville thingies!) can include any filling you fancy.

tory I'm not so good with the meals for adults in the freezer - in the week I don't eat main meals at home and DH just eats ready meals...

However we do have bolognaise, shepherds pie, chicken casserole, fish pie and soup in our freezer as basics - whenever I make one of them I make double quantity....Also since DS, we have pizza every other week or so when we're finding it difficult. I'm not a huge fan of pizza but it is so easy!

Our freezer is mainly full of stuff for DS! I work full time so my parents look after DS and my mum cooks all his meals. She cooks 2 or 3 times a week for DS and the rest goes in the freezer and keeps us going for the rest of the time. I think that one lot of cooking keeps DS for 4 or 5 meals. Often she'll cook actual meals (like fish pie) plus some random veg (green beans or carrots) which we add as a side portion.

So, as a general rule, she cooks the food and purees it (more or less - we're starting to get into mashed food territory). Then puts it into ice cube trays, which when frozen we transfer into freezer bags. Then we defrost whatever for DS just before his meal.

We usually have for DS: fish pie (with cod), fish pie (with salmon), chicken casserole, beef stew, lentils + veg, cauliflower cheese, brocolli cheese, ratatouille with rice, peas, green beans, carrots, and various fruits purees....

For more ideas for adult food I'm sure there'll be threads on the subject on MN...it's a very common problem for mums!

I meal plan our meals and batch cook my DCs food as I find it easier and have now returned to work, so I take meals out the night before or my DH does and which ever one of us is free will feed when we are home.
I am very lucky in the fact that the mess or length of time it takes to feed doesn't worry my DH, although I often get the job of cleaning up the mess whilst he does the bathtime!

My DH is very fussy when it comes to vegetable and won't eat fruit, but doesn't show it in front of our DC who eats anything. Mess wise just strip your DC down before feeding, get a wipeable mat for the floor and have a stock of baby wipes and muslins hidden in the kitchen.
This weaning business is very messy

We've only been weaning for 2.5 months so far but DH has not cooked anything for our DTs yet. He will feed them but I have to get it ready and tidy up afterwards. Mind you he hasn't cooked a meal for us for about 5 years that I can remember. Rubbish isn't it?