Family keep trying to feed my pfb 'treats'

[CuriosityCola]

Is anyone else having problems with this? Am I being too precious? Ds is just over nine months and we have been blw so far. It has gone great so far. My only problem has been that because he isn't eating 'baby' food my family (especially mum and mil) want to give him rubbish. 'oh this jam sponge is home made, there is nothing bad in it', 'if you don't let him try he will steal other kids food when he is older' . Then yesterday dh let him have a bit of a chocolate hob nob. Only admitted it as I noticed ds had chocolate on his chin.

I know he will want this kind of food eventually, but I don't want to fill him with sugar when he is just as happy with something naturally sweet (hope that makes sense). I'm being unreasonable aren't I?! ??

If you are then I am too. My 9 month never has anything more exciting than fruit or yoghurt & I hope to delay it as long as possible. Which in reality will be up to the point she notices her big sister gets stuff she doesn't!

As long as its not all the time and at the expense of 'good' food I don't see the harm in letting him have little tries of this stuff. My daughter is this age and is being fed lots of rubbish by her two older brothers! It's very easy to be a bit precious with this stuff with your first one. I think you relax a little more with the next, so perhaps a tad pfb! But that's ok!

you know you didn't need to put the 'pfb' in the title, don't you? :)

my eldest didn't eat chocolate, biscuits or cake when she was little, her first refined sugar was her first birthday cake and after that she only had it rarely

with her younger siblings it was much harder to keep to naturally sweet things, I did try with #2, but got more relaxed as time went on. ds (dc#4) was caught helping his Dad eat a magnum ice cream at about 5 months....

Personally, I think you are being PFB.

There are others though who are of the 'no sugar until they move out' school of thought who will think you are totally reasonable.

I want him to enjoy eating lots of different foods, but I just don't see the point in him having it for the sake of it. Even if he was trying to grab a piece of what they had. Offering it seems to be more for the adults benefit.

I have just laughed at myself slightly though as I couldn't think of anything worse than homemade cake that mil had offered . Poor mil. My mum on the other hand wants to be the favoured grandma I think. 'that's what I am for, to spoil him'. She drives me nuts!

bumpybecky what did you say to stop people giving them it (without looking ott)?

Your baby is precious! I don't think there's anything wrong with the odd 'treat' but the whole point of being a parent IMO is that you have the say (along with the other parent if there is one) in shaping how they turn out.

To use the 'excuse' of "this is what will happen if you don't do what I think you should do" is a complete cop out. These people are completely disrespectful your position as your baby's mum. But to be honest your DH isn't helping and you probably need to tackle him first. You need to present a united front even if you don't 100% agree behind closed doors, otherwise all it says to other people is you're a pushover

I've had lots of comments from IL's, parents etc about how 'unfair' I was not letting my 5 month old have ice cream/pizza etc but he's 16 months old now and has tried and loved most foods I can think of. He had no refined sugar until quite a while after his first birthday and still goes mad for plain yogurt and fruit (and the occasional biscuit) - you are not being PFB for deciding that your child's first foods will be the 'right' foods and essentially it is up to you what they eat

like I say I got lots of comments but I can tell you now nobody would dare try and give my child any food without asking me first (it must be a vibe I give off!) but if they did I'd tell them this "*this is my child and I will decide what they eat, I couldn't give a rats ass what you or anybody else thinks about it, he will eat what he chooses from what DH or I decide to offer. This does not concern you" - ok maybe I'd word it differently, probably with a couple of needless apologies in there but the sentiment would be the same. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks. You are doing what you feel is best for your baby and that's what you're supposed to do

I need to be more assertive. I think you are right, nicecupoftea. Will have a chat with dh tomorrow. He can't eat any meal without needing and looking for something sweet after, so should know better.

I know I didn't need to put pfb in the title, but wanted people to realise I knew he was

It's not inevitable they'll want that sort of food. I know people who grew up without getting a taste for it and still don't eat it.

But it is a lot more likely if the rest of the family eat it and/or act like it's a treat.

People do have the capability to enjoy eating healthy food and just not be interested in junk, but I think it depends very much on the attitudes they absorb from others, and obviously close family will have the most influence.

So YANBU, but you could normalise it further by eating that way yourself.

sc I had planned to not make certain kinds of food special or naughty. It's just that I didn't expect it to be an issue so soon.

Thanks for a good mix of opinions.

I've no idea what I said! dd1 is 14 now, I can't remember what had for dinner yesterday, let alone what I said back then. I think nicecupoftea has it right though, who cares what they think - it's your baby, so you get to decide :)

I found it impossible to be so strict with later children as the older sister(s) were far too good at leaving food lying where the baby could get it or just deciding to share with their little sister / brother!

I'm not sure I understand the "baby now has older sibling, so gets to eat food I denied the oldest" idea - what made you end the policy with the older.

If you don't think the food is appropriate for the baby, what changes?

I was in your shoes with my "pfb" a few years ago. I realised now that my issue was about the lack of respect for my well researched parenting decisions as it was about the actual chocolate that was been fed to my son.
My MIL saw it as her "right" to treat him and lacking the patience gene ( a trait unfortunately passed down through DH to my son!) she couldn't wait until he was a toddler or older to give him Dairymilk. I'm still of the opinion 9 years and two more kids later that chocolate isn't an appropriate "treat" for babies.
I'm still seen as the Enforcer of Hideous Chocolate/Biscuit/Sweet Bans even though as a family we're terrible and eat our way through more junk than is good for us. (Just not when she's with us because she still brings three or four packets of biscuits and two mutlipacks of chocolate and walks kids to local shop for more sweets and icecream when she pops over even though "Mummy doesn't let you have any chocolate or sweets." )

I'm at peace with the situation now. Let them eat cake I say. I am sure my kids are "nutrionally aware" and I fill them up with lots of good stuff.

It's just a shame their mum can't spell.

I didn't wean later children on chips and chocolate you know :)

They had age appropriate food according to advice at the time, so dd2 (now 12) had veg and fruit purees before moving on to lumpier foods etc, dd3 (7) and ds(4) were blw-ed at approx 26 weeks and ate a very wide range of proper food.

It's just that in addition to the sensible foods I was feeding them, the later babies all had occasional food that was not so good, normally fed to them by helpful older sisters (and occasionally DH!).

They was a certain amount of mellowing though on my part. I know with dd1 I was worried that if she had sugary stuff too soon she'd never eat another vegetable, but experience has shown that the odd biscuit or cake hasn't done them any harm. In fact dd1 is the skinniest of them all (below 2% weight centile) and could do with eating a bit more cake....

i agree i mellowed a bit too because experience showed that letting them having sweet foods like fruit before broccoli didn't lead to obesity and veg refusal. Thus the odd bit of homemade [smug] cake or crumble wasn't going to "ruin" them. i even let my 6mo old stick her tongue in my ice cream recently.

But damn it is was the principle at the time!!!!!!!!

I mellowed because of nursery. DS went there at 7 months and it often provided treats. It became impossible to have completely different food at home. I could have asked nursery not to feed DS cheerios at breakfast, a biscuit at tea time and sugary yogurts and cake and custard for pudding, but in the end did not want him singled out at meal-times, so I caved in. Nursery also got him to eat by squirting tomato ketchup over everything, sigh, so of course he wanted it at home.

MIL used to give him treats too and yes, I am still the horrible sweet and ice cream denying mummy. After nursery came school lunches and peer pressure over acceptable snacks. It doesn't get easier.

But OP you are not being precious, good nutrition is important and what you want for your DS should be respected.

My Nan gives my ds a biscuit every time he goes over there. I did say no to her giving him a biscuit and chocolate! Now I know she does it every time I will just make sure he doesn't have any other sugary things that day.

Was just wondering nicecupoftea do you just have the one DC?