BLW - seriously thinking about quitting.

[MegumiEto]

DS2 is coming up to 8 months and isn't sitting up independently for more than a couple of seconds yet. Started him on BLW just after he turned 7 months. DS1 I just did purees as I'd never heard of BLW.

But when I think of how much DS1 ate compared to the crumbs that get down DS2's neck, I can't imagine it's making any difference. He's really not that interested at the moment, but I'm getting a bit of pressure from the HV as he's dropped off his curve a little, and also from my mum, who isn't convinced by BLW.

Trouble is, I see all her points about wastage and having no other way to fill his tummy apart from a breastfeed, which means I can't leave him to be babysat (he won't take a bottle), even for a couple of hours.

Early part of June, I have to leave him for a three hour stretch and my mum is already threatening to get him a jar so he's not screaming the whole time.

Please please help my wavering faith in BLW, I want to do it, but need some reassurance that this is normal and that he is eating enough.

Thanks.

Are you happy to try a bit of both? We have gone down the majority blow route but not all.

Breakfast is generally porridge. At 6-9 months approx I fed him this he had a spOon to play with. Now 11 months he will fed himself 1/5 on on spoon I do the rest still. And will munch banana alone for breakfast.

Lunch and dinner he will feed all himself now but I usually help a bit if he's not that interested. Over the last few month my 'help' has decreased. The way it's going he should be ok just after his first birthday to feed himself alone.

A lot of progress has happened since he was 8 months. Does your son have teeth yet? We had a mass appear in the last 6 weeks which has transformed how he copes. So by June your outcome is likely to improve a lot!

Banana and avocado were popular foods without teeth. If he will eat these or similar he can be left easier for a few hours when needed as then will fill him up. Can be mashed and spoon fed as well as giving him chunks to feed himself. Over time the ratio of mash/ chunks changes

There are no prizes for doing blw. If your son needs to be spoonfed, spoonfeed him! If he's crying with hunger, feed him! You can always give him finger food as well. In a few months he'll be eating normal food and none of this will matter in the slightest.

I was a bit of a blw crusader when I was weaning my first, my second got a mix of both, now I just think do whatever suits you and your baby :)

You can do both you know.

DD wasn't interested in finger food (I refuse to use the shite term "BLW"). She was happy to be fed from a spoon.

Spoon feeding is helping not force-feeding.

You don't need to go with jars though.

Thanks for your reply. He doesn't have teeth yet so I have been giving him avocado and banana as well as brocolli, which has been the most successful. I think reading people's menus on the other thread has really intimidated me, I am not a good or adventurous cook and the things I have been giving DS have been quite simple.

When you give your DS porridge, what do you mix it with? I doubt I could express enough bm to make him a bowlful.

On the HV's suggestion I have been giving him toast and butter (well, Vitalite) for breakfast, various sliced fruit for lunch and fruit plus broccoli for tea. He will suck on some of it and occasionally will get some off, but more often than not it all comes out again.

I started with blw with ds2 as he wouldn't let a spoon of anything near his mouth, then I slowly started spoon feeding to fill him up with porridge/cereal type foods around 8 months. He filled himself up with pasta shapes, rice cakes, toast, sandwiches with cream cheese, anything dipped in hummous.

If your baby isn't used to being spoon fed a jar of baby food then your mum can threaten to try anything she wants, but she may end up with more of the baby food all over her than in your baby's tummy!

I give Oatibix for breakfast - they're basically the same as Ready Brek but don't need to be warmed up. You can make it into a very stiff mush and preload spoons so DS can feed himself without it all sliding off the spoon. He eats a whole one and then I feel happy knowing he's had a good breakfast and anything else he eats in the day is a bonus. Something like that would pacify your mum but still be in keeping with BLW.

And he can have cow's milk in food - no need to express.

He isn't screaming with hunger, he's really not that bothered at all, btw. It's just so confusing. Was very obvious with DS1, he was interested in food and seemed hungry all the time. DS2 is such a chilled soul and is really not that bothered. But all the time a nagging voice keeps telling me that he's nearly 8 months and probably hasn't swallowed more than a teaspoonful combined.

He's chubby and happy and hasn't upped his breastmilk demands and is gaining weight despite dropping a little below his curve.

I thought I would try BLW because he got to 6 months exclusive bf easily and it seemed the next logical step. I only got to 5 months with DS1 before it was obvious he needed more.

But he's also behind his brother on sitting up and didn't roll over until gone 6 months so maybe he's just not ready.

I do like the idea of him sitting in his highchair feeding himself, it took DS1 ages to do that, almost 18 months.

ARRRGh I don't know what to do!

If he's chubby and happy then there isn't a problem.

Babies do drop a little once they start weaning and moving about more.

There's nothing to say you can't serve him his finger type food and also offer him some of it on a spoon - say bolognaise for example. he can make a god awful mess feed some to himself and you can offer some on a spoon. He may take it, he may not.

If you're happy that he's getting enough calories from milk then don't stress it! Just sit him in his highchair during meals with a cushion behind him and whack a handful of tasty morsels from your meal on the tray and then try not to scrutinise too much. He might just play with, smell or squish stuff but that's OK, and it isn't a waste as he's learning.

FGS woman relax! (in the nicest possible way... :)) BLW isn't some kind of nazi regine - or shouldn't be - it's just a way to let babies learn to eat and control their own intake. And tbh I've never really understood it as a concept - surely all babies gradually start eating on a combination of things they can grab and chew, and things you feed them on a spoon? After all there is plenty of stuff we eat with a spoon (ice cream, porridge, custard, soup etc.) so why not babies?

The only thing you shouldn't do is try to force-feed a baby and I think that is perhaps where this blw hysteria sometimes comes from - trying to be the polar opposite of that. But normal spoon feeding is fine, and so is letting the baby have a go with a spoon. Both my DC loved holding the spoon themselves at that age, and throwing food all over themselves.

And your HV sounds bonkers - it's totally normal for weight curve to drop off at this age, and no one in their right mind expects children to stick to one percentile constantly.

Stop worrying. Just include him in mealtimes with everyone else, offer him some food (e.g. baby porridge, snacks, or whatever you're having mushed up - let him try lots of different things) and as time goes by he will gradually eat more of the things he likes and get used to feeding himself.

He's gaining weight, he's happy, he's chubby - you're doing great!

My 10 month old has both finger food and some spoon fed foods such as yoghurt and porridge, and has 4 bottles of formula too :) we're both happy with this, there is nothing he won't try :)

he does sound absolutely fine to me - and there really is no point in comparing one child to another, they're all little freaks. but if you want to 'quit', then go for it. it's just one way of weaning, there's no reason why it would be right for every child, and perhaps more importantly, every mother. and normal weaning at this stage should be some mash and finger food, anyway.
but i wouldn't be worried at this stage, like soupy says, it's very common for babies to lose their place on the curve for a while. (apparently... i was never interested in their weight, i must say, i went by how healthy they looked and whether they were growing out of clothes.)
i'd tell your mum to piss off with her threats, though. how on earth does that help you?

OK thank you ... I think I will do that. He hasn't been well the last couple of weeks so maybe once he is feeling better he will take more of an interest.

If he doesn't then I think I will give him a spoon brekkie and then let him experiment the rest of the day. That sounds like a good compromise.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Dd and I do a mixture of finger foods and puréed foods. She's nine months. Like other I struggle with the concept of blw. I use a spoon sometimes, why can't a baby?

Oh yes and agree your mum can get over herself. By June I bet he'll be eating fine anyway.

and so what if he has a jar occasionally

We did a mix from the start. Mostly mush to start, then mostly finger foods by one ish.

No one said you can't spoonfeed at all - as long as you are still following baby's cues then it's fine. Actually my dd took best to mush which she shovelled in with her fists!

It helped me to remember that "food is for fun until one" i.e. until they're 1yo they're getting the nutrients they need from milk, so giving them solids (spoonfed or finger-fed) is more about letting them try new textures and tastes and eventually learning to feed themselves than about them eating "enough".

We also did a mixture; I'd give DD purees on a spoon and then give her a selection of bits to play with and smear around eat by herself.

I agree with the others there's no reason why you can't do a bit of both. It sounds like you're feeling under pressure from your mum and HV to hurry DS onto solids right away.. You do know that milk should be the main source of nutrition until a year don't you? Anything else is just practice at the moment.

I'm wondering if the whole 'can't be left for more than a couple of hours' thing isn't more your mums problem than a genuine worry of yours. Does it bother you? DS has never taken to a bottle but will drink a little milk from a cup (for example in the car when I can't bf) if needed. Is this something you could try?

I honestly don't think you need to worry a great deal about what 'real food' gets swallowed by your baby at this point.. Your Breastmilk is far superior to any solid food you can offer at this stage. As long as he's not drastically losing weight and is happy/having wet nappies etc it sounds like everything is just fine.

You only started giving solids 2 months ago, I guarantee your son will suddenly take an interest in a few months. It's just fun and exploration of tastes and textures for now. Yes there's waste and it's annoying (one of the main reasons I do blw because DS eats what we eat so I don't have to make something specially and then feel annoyed when he doesn't eat it.. He just eats off my plate a lot of the time) but it's a work in progress. Babies know how much (and what) they need so as long as you're offering food he'll do just fine.

Go with your heart.. BLW isn't for every baby (or mum!) but don't worry about how much he's eating for the next few months, your milk is more than enough to keep him healthy and growing!

Just go with whatever is best for your baby. Some babies are great with BLW. I hate the term too. BLW actually means exclusive self feeding, while traditional weaning is purees + finger food. My DD is one a self feeding example baby. She puts everything in her mouth, I even have a picture of her chewing her feet at around 4/5mo. She also will not let your get a spoon near her mouth. She will intercept it and fling the content across the room. By the way she doesnt' have teeth until 9mo. That doesn't stop her eating chicken, burgers or things that need chewing. She was polishing a whole muffin by 7mo.

It doesn't mean every baby is like this. I'd try some mush I were you. You don't need to cook separate meals following Annabel Karmel. Just mush or blitz up your normal family meal. But don't stop giving finger foods for your LO. It helps them learn to self feed.

I did blw with both my little ones and although they both took to it really well they really differed on what they like and how much they ate. Your little one sounds completely normal, he's only 8 months and is obviously getting enough mill. If u decide to carry on you will need to go with the flow though as stressing over how much he eats is not going to help you or your ds. I guarantee in a couple of months he will be eating a reasonable amount. However I think as a mum you also have to go on your instincts and what you are comfortable with as being able to reduce worries and stresses makes life so much better.
Try rice cakes with all manner of spreadable foods on, they are always a hit.
Also I would also like to point out that blw is not about never showing or giving your baby a spoon its about following their lead. I give my little one the loaded spoon and he puts it in his mouth himself. Good luck.

My friend traditionally weaned her youngest son and he was huge, but just not readyf ro solids until around 8-9 months. Every time she tried to introduce them he would be very sicky and get really constipated, if he swallowed any. She kept stopping again and he was fine and then the next time she tried he didn't get ill or constipated. He was also at the latter end of the scale to do anything developmentally, so I think some babies just aren't ready when they 'should' be.

Can you give milk to drink in a cup if he won't take a bottle? Also, don't be afraid to give him more variety in what he eats. We have found pasta twists to be excellent. Very easy to pick up and chew/swallow and easy to make a quick sauce either for everyone or just for baby.

Even without teeth we found DD could eat absolutely anything, even meats. She just learnt to 'tear' pieces off. so don't let no teeth stop you!