Fussy eater (11 1/2 months). Support, please?

[spewgloriousspew]

I've read a few threads in the talk archive, but it's so much more helpful (I find) to get support on a thread you've started. If that makes sense.

Anyway. Our son has gone from being a brilliant eater to now being a picky, fussy one.

He always eats breakfast (famous last words) but anything after that is now a real struggle. I've taken to cooking savoury muffins as he seems to eat them. And puddings (yog, rice pudding, semolina etc). Bananas and fruit purees also go down. However, he used to eat stews, pasta, couscous, rice, pancakes, baked potatoes, vegetable hash, eggs etc etc. All of those now get screamed at.

It's not even that he'll only eat finger foods. He now just picks them up and either rips them apart or throws them on the floor.

I know I'm not meant to get frustrated, but I find it so hard not to get cross/upset. I can't afford to keep throwing food away and just don't know what to give him anymore.

In case you hadn't guessed, he's my (precious) first born. Please, someone help me keep my sanity in tact.

Oh, and he will nibble on spelt biscuits (no sugar), rice cakes and breadsticks.

My DS was very similar. He literally ate everything that I put before him until he reach 1 year old and then suddenly became fussier. I think it's quite common at that age. They develop an understanding that they will be fed at regular intervals and if they don't fancy what's on offer now, they can eat later. They also become more suspicious of vegetables...Any chance he might be teething too?

The key is not to get stressed (or at least not to let it show). Keep offering things. DS wouldn't eat raw veg for ages but if we were having it, I'd always put a bit on his plate, along with things I knew he would eat, and eventually he ate it and now (he's 4.5) he asks for cucumber and pepper with his sandwich and will happily eat it. Give him his savoury muffins if you know he'll eat them. I'm sure you can hide all kinds of things in those!

DS always liked a plate of bits and bobs and it was easy to include things I knew he'd eat and a few new things to try. When he was a bit older, he'd help to prepare food too, which he really enjoyed.

Thanks. I know that I just have to accept and that it's a phase, but as you know, it's incredibly frustrating.

Can I ask, did you eat dinner with your son at that age? Maybe we should eat our dinner early at weekends. Not that eating lunch with him seems to help. And for lunch, did you make a special meal or just give him what you ate? I ask, because at the moment, we tend to give him a portion of our dinner for lunch or dinner the following day. And then make something up for the other meal.

And if he didn't eat at lunch, would you offer him a snack before dinner?

Also, if he didn't eat him main, did you offer a dessert of fruit, yoghurt etc?

Yes, muffins can hide a lot! He had peas, mushroom and beetroot in one at lunch, and onion, carrot and something else in one last night. However, he did refuse a spinach and ham pancake, despite previously eating pancakes like there was no tomorrow.

Thanks again

We generally didn't eat dinner with DS when he was that age but did during particularly fussy phases as it really did help. Instead of stting there watching him not eat, it gave us something to do!

I did generally eat lunch with him, usually sandwiches/beans on toast/soup kind of things that DS has always been keen on so that was usually an easy meal. If I remember right, I think he was still having an afternoon bottle at that age, or if not, he'd have been having a mid-afternoon (post naptime) snack, like fruit or cheese and rice cakes.

He was definitely still having a bedtime bottle so we weren't too fussed if he didn't eat much at dinner. I did try to avoid serving a whole meal that I suspected he wouldn't eat. If it was something new, or something he'd been fussy with before, I'd serve it with something I knew he'd eat. Mixing foods was often a good tactic - I remember he wouldn't eat kiwi by itself but would eat it in a fruit salad.

Fruit and/or yoghurt was always offered after meals, regardless of what else he ate. A bit of yoghurt and a banana is a pretty decent lunch, if all else failed!

Your muffins sound good, it sounds as though he's getting a variety of flavours in those.

My DD is 13 months old and has been going through a similar fussyness for about a month. Used to eat everything, now picks and chooses and is not consistent from one day to the next. Always eats meat, doesn't particularly like carbs except bread or breakfast cereal anymore, veges aren't a favourite anymore. I try not to worry about the vege bit, I always offer, and then try and hide a bit in other meals (like meatballs for example), and then make sure she is having her quota of fruit.

My friend suggested mixing everything up on the plate rather than having piles - so a bit of meat, then vege, then carbs etc. Tonight DD ate beef stew with carrots and gnocchi.

It is dinner that is the problem, not any other meal. When at home, I and DH eat lunch with her. Usually sandwiches, fruit, sometimes yoghurt. Dinner is tricky as she likes to eat between 4.30 and 5pm. I sometimes try and have a little plate of her food to jolly her along.

She eats better for other people - at daycare, for her grandmother etc. I definitely think it is a behaviour thing, so basically try as hard as it is to control myself.

She is still having one breastfeed a day before bed.

Oh, DD gets fruit, yoghurt and sometimes a milky dessert like rice pudding or custard for dessert, regardless of what she eats. I kind of feel she doesn't see it as a reward, or that she doesn't have to bother eating her main and will always get something else. Once she does, then may reconsider, but at the moment she needs the calcium as cows milk seems to give her excema.

Thanks, Fantail.

Dinner was a bit better than lunch - just put some stuff on his tray and left him to it. He devoured something that he had completely spurned at lunch but then refused semolina for pudding, a previous favourite!

Lunch was ok today, but still not what I would call good. But better than yesterday.

My son used to love stuff like stew, which was great as it was all mixed up. But now he refuses it, so we have a freezer full of meals he won't eat (not specially made, just extra portions from our grown-up dinners). How long will stuff keep in the freezer? Don't want to end up chucking it all out.

Going to see if he'll eat homemade pizza tonight. Again, something he used to love.

I'm sure it is a behaviour thing, too. I'm really trying not to make a big deal of it, but inside I'm so frustrated!

It's really good to hear from others who have similar fuss-pots, thank you!

And thank you, BornToFolk. I think I'll start trying to eat with him a bit more, see if that helps.

Most meat dishes will keep for at least three months, possibly longer. I would just keep trying or perhaps offer them at lunch?

All in all I think that for their ages they are actually reasonable eaters, not as if all they will eat is 1 or 2 things and that is it!

That's true, Fantail. He will eat, just no way near as much as he used to! Maybe I was just very lucky to begin with and now he's just normal!

"Maybe I was just very lucky to begin with and now he's just normal!"

It's a shock to the system isn't it? Hopefully it'll just be a short lived phase and he'll go back to being a good eater.

You could try using up the food in different ways. I remember using butternut squash soup as a pasta sauce as DS would not eat it in soup form! And putting stuff (like stews) on a baked potato and sprinkling with grated cheese was usually a winner too.

Reading all the above responses is really helpful as my DD is 14 months now and has always been a fabby eater but for the last few weeks she will not try anything new!! I am still giving her these jar foods...which I feel so guilty as she seems to be getting a wee perma-tan from all the carotine in them!! She eats fruit and fruit pots/puree and yoghurts! But getting her to try more solid food whether home made or more substantial baby food she just has to look at it to start crying....as you say spewgloriousspew its the thought of throwing away the food when she doesnt eat it....xx

Hi Poppymum11. If it helps, I still can't get the measure of my son! He is now merrily throwing finger foods in the floor (the only things he would eat last week) and only eating from a spoon.

I'm just making a huge effort to take a deep breath, take away the food and not make a deal of it.

As others have said, keep offering things and if they get eaten, brilliant. If not, just scream inwardly and try another day.

Incidentally, when my son refused to eat anything I made, I would put my homemade food in a jar and he would eat it from there, as he thought it was the jar food. Or even mix in homemade with jar food and gradually reduce the amount of jar food until it's mainly homemade. And I would (and still do) coat things in yoghurt and fruit pots.

If you are really concerned, could you get a referal to an infant dietician? Although chances are, one day your daughter will just eat away, as if there was never a problem!