What are you actually supposed to do when they refuse to eat?

[WhoahThereCrazyHorse]

DD is 14mo and hasn't ever been a huge eater, but not bad. Recently I'm doing really well if I manage to get anything into her at all though - she's refusing most things and throwing lots onto the floor.

Apart from working very hard not to get frustrated/demoralised etc (devastating to waste food that's been lovingly home-made) what should I actually do? I can see myself getting closer to the path of offering several alternatives until she eats something - usually a cereal bar - but that doesn't feel quite right. If she doesn't want what's offered, shall I just move on and hope that her evening bottle tides her over?

By the way, she's at nursery 4 days/week and has breakfast, lunch and substantial mid-afternoon snack there - and usually eats absolutely everything they give her.

Can anyone offer any advice, would be really really grateful!

Thanks

With food throwing, i think it's best to clear up calmly and end the meal straight away. I wouldn't go down the route of offering all sorts of things. Having said that, I used to be terrified of them waking hungry in the night, so I have always offered them a bowl of plain yogurt just before bedtime. This seemed to do the trick (it's such a habit they still eat it years down the line, they are 9 and 5 now) and they slept through, and generally ate lots of weetabix for breakfast. Neither were keen on bedtime milk and I stopped offering this early on.

If I were you I would experiment one night when you are not too tired and try just giving the bedtime milk, she may sleep through without any extras, if you don't try, you won't know.

Do you eat with her, and eat the same food? It's not so demoralising if it's just her little portion of dinner rather than something special you have made that gets wasted.

DS is quite fussy, and also often refuses dinner. If he throws food then I take it away. He sits at the table with us even if he's not eating, and he can have some pudding (yoghurt or fruit) regardless.

No, unfortunately we eat later and I don't have time to cook our tea after nursery pick up when dd has tea (5.30-6ish). Am changing the regime though so rather than batch cooking all of her food at weekends she'll mostly be having a portion of our tea from the previous night.

So we're thinking no alternatives, stay calm, maybe try yog/fruit last thing them? Am actually wondering if she's just not hungry, so that makes sense, although if that were true why would she et a cereal bar?

Aaaargh.

Eat with them

Do not comment on what they have or haven't eaten

Watch the amount of milk/juice they get during the day

Ditto snacks....a couple of biscuits, nibbley things can be surprisingly filling.

Really a child will eat when they are hungry...but I'd never go down the offering alternatives route.

I haven't weaned yet, but a friend of mine mashes up whatever wasn't eaten and offers it on toast, it works for her :)

Definately don't offer alternatives, I have always been very much of the stance that put the food in front of them if they choose not to eat it then take it away and let them get on with it. No child will allow themselves to starve.

If she mucks up about with the food then say 'no we don't waste food' and take it away immediately.

Toddlers ime like to have a range of small portions to choose from on their plate rather than one large portion iyswim?! For example small amount of carrots and broccoli, some pasta, some tuna or ham, but keep portions very small and seperate.

And make sure she is not drinking too much milk and that snacks are snacks and not filling her up too much.

HTH

hth

Try replicating the nursery eating routine. They usually do main meal St lunch time at 12ish and the mid afternoon snack is very early, check with them but ours can be as early as 3.30. And DD then has nothing else and sleeps fine. I think kids quite like to front load their food ie eat 90% of their nutrition in the early half of the day.
Are you feeding her dinner at a later hour then nursery do? And maybe you're expecting her to eat more then she wants and needs to at this hour?