what am i doing wrong

[jan2011]

baby 6 months, we have been trying solids for awhile now (blw and purees) with pretty much no luck. yet on the two occasions my mil has had dd, she has ate her baby rice with no problems, and had mashed banana the second time. i feel completely inadequate - my mil of all people! as far as i know im doing it right - im not pressurising her if she doesn't want it, im offering and re-offering, im letting her lick and hold the spoons etc. i don't know why she is taking it from mil and not me!!

could it be that my mil gives it to her when she is starving (like she did tonight - i wasn't there but dh said) whereas i go on the recommendation to give it in between feeds? i don't know where to go from here, i am embarrassed!

Baby rice is pretty bland and my DS more or less refused it, unless I had mixed it with something a bit more exciting (pear or sweet potato puree went down very well). At first, he would only take about 30ml of solid food, so I wouldn't get too hung up on quantities at this early stage. Have you thought about switching from rice to a "creamy porridge" type of thing? This also worked quite well for us.

Also, when and how are you offering the solids? Sorry if this is a stupid question, but are you giving a big enough gap between her last milk feed and her solid meal(s)?

Please don't feel inadequate! My DS went through a stage of refusing food AND milk and I felt completely awful and that I was somehow starving him! But it was just a phase and with all these things, I had to keep reminding myself "This too shall pass" - my personal parenting mantra!

You sound like you are doing everything right to me! At this age the main focus should be the milk, so you are doing exactly right in offering the solids an hour after the milk.

At 6 months its more about exploring new tastes and textures rather than how much you can shovel in them.

thanks for your replies and reassurance it has helped me feel better.
i have tried mixing different things like sweet potato, fruits etc with the rice and it makes no difference. haven't tried the creamy porridge yet so will give that a go.
i offer in the morning about an hour and a half roughly after a feed (she feeds between every 2 and a half to 3 hours) and late in the afternoon. maybe i could leave a bigger gap but i don't want to risk her not taking her milk - last night she was up 4 times to feed and im so tired i can hardly function! last night after having the banana at mils she only took half her bottle.
thanks jiltedjohn.... the pressure nowdays from everyone (mostly mil who keeps going on about every type of food imaginable in dds face and how she can't wait to feed her it and waving choc biscuits in her face and saying how she can't wait to eat it etc...!) and other mums who seem it to be the norm to wean a few months early - i seem to be the odd ball! i am the only person i know in my area who has not weaned early, and whose baby is not taking toweaning.
thanks for your assurance...i know in my heart my baby is ok (as in, im doing the right thing by keeping to guidelines,..better not to take a risk and all that) but its still a bit disheartening at times.

Have you tried offering her food straight after a milk feed? Food isn't meant to fill babies up at this stage so if she refused the food, it's not because she's 'not hungry for it'

If I don't give my DD a milk feed just before offering solids, she will not eat anything as she is too hungry and irritable and obviously doesn't understand that the solids will fill her up.
Even if you dont agree with me about food not filling babies up, it would still be worth a try if your DD refuses solids anyway.
Another thing you could try is offering solids half way through a milk feed?

Try not to worry too much as milk is the important thing right now. It will get better. Good luck

yes i agree with you, for me its not to do with filling the baby up - although in time one of the goals is that it will help cut some night feedings out. but not for right now. i will try doing it straight after or in the middle and see if it makes a difference - thanks :)

I've just re read my message I didn't mean for it to sound so... (can't think of the right word, hopefully you know what I mean )
And I do agree with you about the night feeds! I can't wait for one of DD's four night feeds to disappear so I can get some sleep.

we've just started weaning DS (he's almost 6 month), and are giving him some baby rice mixed with expressed milk about 2 hrs after a feed (usually around 9 am, and same time i'm having breakfast), so its been long enough so that he's a bit peckish, but not so he's starving and screaming the place down. like your DD, our boy feeds every 2 and half to 3 hours and several times through the night too. he's eating the rice quite happily, but i started making it quite runny so it was more milk than anything else, and gradually made it thicker so its more like porridge now, so maybe thats worth a try.
i've been getting a fair bit of pressure to wean much earlier than 6 months too, and if i hear one more tale of so and so who weaned at 10 weeks and can now eat a burger at 5 months , i may scream. i honestly think its a bit trial and error, and like others have said, more to do with getting them used to the idea and textures of food rather than filling them up at this stage. good luck, and as is the case with our son, it definitely tastes better if you get it all over your face!!

Not to be nitpiking, but you can be eating a burger at 6mo even if you wean at 6mo . DD ate nandos very soon after weaning at 26 weeks. It's one of those moments I'll forever remember though. She screamed when she tasted the hot sauce.

jan completely feel for you, it can be hard when you seem to be the only one bucking the trend. This happened to me when I bf DC1 and was the only one of all my friends and family and the only one on the HVs books.

Think you are just going to have to develop a thick skin over it. Read up as much as you can, then smile, nod and do what you want to do.

As for weaning meaning more sleep, hate to tell you this but weaning made both of mine worse. There is very little nutritional value in baby rice and a lot less calories than in the milk.

If she's not that interested in the purees and baby rice, have you thought about trying Baby Led Weaning?