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Weaning

Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Original poster

Help! Wanting to BLW but DD doesn't get it...

20 replies

32notout · 09/03/2012 17:41

DD is 7mo. I have been trying to BLW her for a while now without any success at all. She will mouth toys etc but she doesn't seem to understand that she can put things in her mouth for eating!

If I put her in her highchair with some food on the tray, she will pick things up, so when she does this, I have tried to gently guide her hand to her mouth to see if she gets the idea and can do it herself - nope. I eat with her frequently and she also sees her big brother eating with his hands, so it's not like she has never seen anyone eat.

I have resorted to giving her purees for the last few weeks (to try and get some nutrition into her to reduce the 24/7 breastfeeding) which she loves and can't get enough of. So where am I going wrong?!

OP posts:

abrakebabra · 09/03/2012 17:45

Surely being truly baby led is actually being led by the particular baby in question? Can't you just give her purees and carry on offering finger foods? I've never understood the desire to be purist about BLW.

SquishyCinnamonSwirls · 09/03/2012 17:46

If she prefers the purees then just keep giving her those and offering finger foods regularly, she'll get it but in her own time. As long as she's happy then just go with it.

HappyCamel · 09/03/2012 17:47

Is she hungry when you feed her? When she wakes first thing you could try her on banana chunks before you offer a morning milk feed. My dd is a buttered toast fan.

Are the pieces are reasonable size (not too big or small)? With BLW you can use a spoon, the key is that she guides it to h mouth rather than just opening it like a bird. If you don't already make sure at least one other person is eating the same thing the same way.

Original poster

32notout · 09/03/2012 17:49

I could, yes but I am extremely lazy have a toddler to feed too, so it would be great if we could all eat the same things. I guess I am just a bit worried too, I have never met a 7mo who couldn't find their mouth with finger food!

OP posts:

Original poster

32notout · 09/03/2012 17:51

Happycamel yes, she is definitely hungry - just tried a few sticks of ripe pear and she couldn't get them anywhere near her mouth. After a while we gave up and I spoon fed her a whole yogurt, which she ate with gusto.

Thanks for all the advice, I guess I just need to be a bit more patient with her!

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 09/03/2012 17:55

maybe she just isn't ready yet?

the whole idea of baby led weaning is that when the child is ready they will be willing and able to put the food into their mouth, chew it, and swallow it.

If you consider that some people spoon feed their babies puree at 12 weeks old we can't take that as any sign of a baby wanting or needing solids, if you see what I mean?

Personally I would just be patient and let her take her time. some babies will be ready at 6 months, or a bit before, others will not be ready until later.
It wasn't all that long ago that babies were not weaned until 9 months!

Original poster

32notout · 09/03/2012 18:02

Hmm, maybe you are right, she actually can't sit that well yet she prefers to crawl about on the floor so maybe she just isn't ready? Thing is though, when she wakes up in the morning she refuses to breastfeed and will then demolish a bowl of Ready Brek, so she is well up for eating iyswim...

OP posts:

loveroflife · 09/03/2012 19:10

please don't flame me but it's advised mixing purees and blw does not mix, if you want to do exclusive blw.

it's either one or the other to get a really good result, otherwise they become confused. to get her to do it, stick with the milk and eventually she will pick up the food with her fingers - just keep putting her in the highchair at set meal times, leave the food on the tray in front of her and don't put anything in her mouth - it is about her controlling her food and deciding what she wants.

i sat for 35mins the first time, before he eventually picked up and tasted a piece of bread.

in my experiences was the timings - if you time it so when she is really hungry when she is in the highchair - trust me she will pick up the food...

try pitta breads, toast fingers, breadsticks easy bits at first - this website is a lifeline, so you could maybe post on the boards there www.babyledweaning.com

i also bought the baby led weaning cookbook from amazon and it was a godsend - good luck

Flisspaps · 09/03/2012 19:14

loveroflife It's not so much that they get confused, it's that offering 'finger food' and puree is just traditional weaning, and BLW is exclusive self feeding.

You can't mix the two simply because if you do, it's not exclusive self feeding!

If she's playing with the food, personally I'd leave her just to play with it. At this age it's about exploring food and eventually, she'll pick something up and taste it. A lot of children don't 'eat' much at 6-7mo anyway, anything that does make it to the mouth ends up on the floor, the table, the highchair...

If you're happy to give puree, then that's fine, but if you don't want to any more, then don't!

abrakebabra · 09/03/2012 19:17

"please don't flame me but it's advised mixing purees and blw does not mix, if you want to do exclusive blw."

obviously it wouldn't be exclusive blw if you weren't blwing exclusively

abrakebabra · 09/03/2012 19:20

"it's either one or the other to get a really good result, otherwise they become confused"

No, they don't. Your baby may have been confused, neither of mine had any problem whatsoever switching between being spoon fed a youghurt and feeding themselves a piece of toast. I've seen plenty of babies who can do both.

Sweeping statements like that just undermine what the point you're trying to get across, if you don't mind me saying.

Flisspaps · 09/03/2012 19:24

abrakebabra You're coming across a bit harshly here with the s and the 'Your baby' comment - I don't know if it's intentional or whether it's just that the medium of the internet doesn't convey tone brilliantly.

loveroflife · 09/03/2012 19:25

abrakebabra - obviously not as brilliant and clever as you then - silly me

i think it is confusing - you're feeding them, then you're not, then you want them to pick the spoon up and feed themselves, then you want to spoon fed them, chop, change, chop, change....

loveroflife · 09/03/2012 19:28

i agree flisspaps - thank you

abrakebabra - horribly smug "my baby didn't have any problems bla bla" - good for you..

anyway, who really cares, good luck to the op and i'm logging off for the night

abrakebabra · 09/03/2012 19:28

Yes, I'm sorry, really, I didn't mean to be rude loveroflife.

I just see this a lot on mn "it's either one or the other to get a really good result, otherwise they become confused"

Not necessarily. I don't understand why people feel the need to make sweeping declarations when they could just say "I think you're likely to confuse them", or, "I found it easier with my baby when...."

People get so caught up in their own experience or ideas that they sometimes miss the big picture.

Flisspaps · 09/03/2012 19:29

Good. Anyone for some cake? :)

abrakebabra · 09/03/2012 19:30

"abrakebabra - horribly smug "my baby didn't have any problems bla bla" - good for you.."

SMUG? Really? Over weaning? What is the big stress about weaning? What is there to be smug about when it comes to weaning? They'll eat it or they won't.

samstown · 09/03/2012 20:57

Wow, its just giving them food! I really dont get this whole 'its not true BLW if...' thing. So what?

And how will they get confused? Surely traditional weaning is a mixture of purees and finger food and this is how most babies are weaned. They all seem to do ok in the end so it cant be that confusing!

OP, I would continue to give her purees as she seems to love them so much, but also continue to offer finger foods alongside. I would say that that is real baby led weaning!

Diamondgirls · 23/03/2012 11:30

Have you thought about pre loading the spoon and just letting her feed herself? Takes a bit of practice but it works.

4oclockwakeup · 29/03/2012 20:48

just do whatever works best. my first loved purees / mush and happily ate from a spoon and didn't pick up any finger food offered until she was nearer 12 months. my second hates the spoon and won't take anything apart from yoghurt by spoon so we are going down the self feeding route for him. agree with sanstown - continue with purees but offer finger foods so she can choose

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