My mum wants me to blw, I'm not do sure!

[LAbaby]

My mum is very keen for me to do baby led weaning with my son. Her argument is that she struggled and struggled to get me to spoon feed and I refused and hated it. This led to long issues with foods, I would only eat tomato soup, baked beans or yoghurt until is started school, then also added jam sandwiches to my list!! It did me no lasting harm and now I love my food, although have still never eaten meat, fish or eggs, and eat a vegetarian diet.
She heard about blw from my cousin and is very keen, she thinks it would have worked with me and wishes she ha tried it.
I am not so keen. My main worry is choking. I know gagging is normal, but I still worry about choking. I also worry that my son won't get enough to eat.
I also live in the us and while I have friends who have successfully weaned using blw, it's not mainstream. In fact my old school doctor told me very seriously that my son would choke and die if I gave him finger foods at six months!
My mum is very insistent. And I think she may be right, but I'm so worried about getting it wrong.
Can anyone reassure me about the choking? Sorry for rambling!

I have BLWed my DD(19mo)..i spoon fed the three older children (teens) as i had never heard of BLW then. In my experience the BLW has been by far the best experience, and my DD will try absolutely anything...as for the gagging/choking. I have had just one incident of choking when one of the older girls gave her a chunk of unripe pear....and panicked...it was dealt with quickly and effectively, but to be honest, the big sister would probably have shared her pear even she had been spoon fed. That same older child had a choking incident when she was small as she tried to eat paper....
Neither incident was as a result of the method of feeding, neither child responded differently....but the BLW child is far and away the best, easiest, least fussy feeder i have had.

Thanks for that. I do see the benefits of blw, everyone I have spoken to who has tried it seems to be really pleased with their decision.
Can I ask how you dealt with the choking. I think I know the basics, as in hold him facedown along my arm facing away from me and smack him hard on the back. Is that what you did, and did it really work? It's my main concern and while I have done an infant CPR class, it hasn't reassured me completely.

I've just started it with my 5 and a half month DD and she loves it, and I'm now not at all worried about choking. I've been giving her nice squodgy foods that go down easily like banana, avocado and boiled and cooled broccoli and sweet potato. Sometimes she bites off a chunk that's a little too big and she gives a little cough and it comes straight back out again. She loves it though, and it's a complete joy. Good luck,

www.babyledweaning.com/ this website is very good and the forums there would answer a lot of your questions

Yes it is what you do. My DD has never gagged either. You do give age appropriate food. Like you start with soft food that can be gummed down first and be led by your LO at how good he handles food. Why don't you give it a try with something like a broccoli floret? Some babies have a very active gag reflex. If that is the case then you can always go back to purees. But you need to introduce lumpy food at some point. And the same babies will still gag. So you still need to know how to deal with chocking. One of the babies in my NCT group is a gagger and was weaned with purees. Took her mum ages to introduce things like meat. You cant make smooth purees of meat can you?

LA....yes, across the arm, sharp slap to the back....she recovered faster than i did!

It really isn't any different-despite it's name it is mother led and the baby only gets to eat exactly what and when the mother lets it.
I would just say 'yes mother' and do it your way. (save arguing-you baby isn't you). You can offer purees as part of it.
(If people are offering advice it was much easier to nod and smile and do my own thing.)

I don't think pureed food leads to eating issues! Persuading children to eat purée that they don't want might, but not purees themselves.

I started with liquidised fruit/veg/cereal at 6 months, but within a week was giving mushed whole dinners (though quite finely mushed). At the same time, I put pieces of dinner (potato/meat/veg) on the highchair tray. One of my twins took to the finger stuff far more than the other, but they both ate the mush too.

At 15 months, I still have one twin who prefers stuff to hold and chew, and one who would rather you fed him with a spoon. They will both eat either way and so we have a mixture at every meal.

I think the key is torelax and not stress, whichever way you do it. In the main, my twins eat anything you give them, but then we have nights like last night, where they both had no more than two spoons if dinner and then turned their noses up at it. They had several breadsticks and a decent helping of cake and custard and then we went to bed. No pressure, no persuading and no stress. Just about to do breakfast, and I bet they eat like fiends

The aim is to get them to eat family meals as quickly as possible. How you get there is unimportant.
You will get lots of advice, especially if your mother is going to refer it all back to her experience with you, as if you are 'all' babies.
Just get used to smiling and nodding.

Lots of these BLW babies would probably say 'could you please mash that banana' if they could talk!!

Did blw with my son - he hated baby rice and mush, always tried to grab our food, he did brilliantly on blw, it was a walk in the park.

you need to do what feels right for you though - grandmas can advise, but shouldn't interfere !

Do what you want to do. You're the parent, not your mum!

If you want to wean traditionally, that's your choice. Babies who have purée can still choke though. Choking is really, really rare, remind yourself of what to do but don't be scared

Until 1 babies get most of their calories from milk anyway do don't worry about not getting enough food in if you do BLW - puréed food isn't digested any more easily, it's just less recognisable as food on the way out as it was already mushed when it went in, so there's nothing to say purée fed babies actually 'get' any more from their meals than someone BLW

I think blw wouldn't have worked for us as my son could not pick up any slippery foods until about 1. So we wouldn't have gotten very far with pieces if banana or avocado. Now at 20 months he eats everything! As someone else said I also don't think that purees results into fussy eaters.
Just do whatever works best with your baby!

blw only works if your baby naturally puts things in their mouth. Mine didn't, he would just hold stuff and look at it (did this with toys, teething rings etc too) so we had to use purees.

No reason why you can't do a bit of both techniques.

Leave the skin on avacado , melon etc. makes it easier to hold.

I purée fed dd1/2 & hated the mess. Dd3 has been BLW and it's so much easier & because she's eating at the same time as us & same food it's felt more sociable. Use a decent high chair that encourages sitting up rather than reclining and they find it much easier to eat.

Dd3 choked for the first time last night. She's 16m & choked on milk & snot. Slap on the back & she was fine.

Right well at the end of the day, to be honest it is none of your mother's business how you wean your child. I would tell her that!

exoticfruits Lots of these BLW babies would probably say 'could you please mash that banana' if they could talk!!

I doubt it. I've mashed bananas, given carrots, butternut squashes, sweet potatoes, baby rice, pears, apples, and maybe other things. My DD said no to all of them. She clamps her mouth shut, or she grabbed the spoon and play drums with it.

On the other hand, she'll happily feed herself food we put on the high chair tray.

Sorry, have had stomach bug but so pleased to log on and see all the great advice. Should have said really that my mum will soon look after my son two days a week so will be feeding him, so would make sense if we do it the same way. She'll do whatever I decide on but I really appreciate her input, and she does give lots of good advice.
Tried baby on cucumber sticks today and he loved them, sucked and nibbles the flesh off the skin. Also quite keen on sticks of cheese. Then tried him on baby oatmeal with added iron which I wanted to spoon feed him but he shuddered whenever I managed to get it in his mouth so maybe not for him! I ate the whole bowlful, he obviously has more taste than his mother.
Very reassuring to hear that the choking is easily dealt with. I took my CPR class while pregnant and might need to do a refresher. Thanks for all the good advice, I'm still undecided but will take it day by day. Am also signing my mum up for baby CPR, just to be on the safe side. I'm ignoring the fact she's a trained first aider.

They are all different OneLittleBabyGirl-I love mashed banana so I don't see why some babies wouldn't. You won't know if they don't get a choice.
You can do both LAbaby-as adults we cope perfectly well with soup, mashed potato as well as lumps of cheese etc-a baby is similar. Just give him what you want and let your mother do the same.

exoticfruits she'll eat banana chunks. She just objects to anyone feeding her. She also objects to the bottle until she's 7.5mo, at which point she can use one herself. She's just incredibly stubborn.

In fact I don't refer to DD as BLW to my friends and colleagues. I say she self feeds. Because that's what she does.

That is fair enough-all babies have their preferences-some like being helped, some don't-there is not 'THE WAY'.

It is the term BLW that irks me-when it it is entirely mother led and there would be hell to pay if someone gave her baby a choice not approved by the mother!

Hi OP delighted to hear you've got going, well done. I was about to post to suggest the infant CPR class but I see you're ahead of me! My mum also felt better about BLW when she'd done one too. I'm also a workplace first aider, so felt somewhat confident, but much better after getting the chance to try on the infant dummy - of course we hope we never have to use it but having the knowledge that when you need it, the training kicks in, has given me lots of comfort.

The gagging is terrifying the first couple of times, but then you see (despite the watery eyes and rosy cheeks) the baby isn't bothered and picks up another piece soon after it does get easier to deal with, and less frequent.