feeding

[lasheslou]

help ! please don't laugh but i'm a forty four year old first time mum with a little boy, i've suddenly found myself a single mum. my little boys is now fifteen months and i'm struggling so much trying to get him to not eat jar food. i'm still buying some flavours in a seven month jar some in ten months and some 1 to 3 years, its very expensive but he will not eat anything i make or anything my mun prepares either. he will eat some finger food,but not alot, i'm so worried about it all the time,he's such a happy little boy. he's only got six teeth at the moment. i dread meal times as i know he shouldn't really be eating what i give him, everyone says he'll do it his own time but not if i'm not helping enough. feel like i'm failing as a mum.

Don't worry - you sound like every other first time mum!

It can feel very stressful trying get a child to eat, but remember that it isn't about forcing them to eat, but encouraging them to try stuff. At fifteen months my DS would really only eat pasta with sauces, so I ended up pureeing loads of other meals (like risotto) to put on pasta for him and I felt like he'd never end up eating real food. He's now 2 and a half and while pasta is still his favourite, he'll also have rice, stews, roasts and so on (although sometimes he still pushes it away and doesn't eat anything at all).

Here's my top tips - I'm sure you're doing some of these already and it may not be possible to do some, but they're things to try when you're feeling stressed.

1. Try eating in a different place - picnics on a rug, a treat in front of the telly, with him sitting on a 'big boy chair' rather than a high chair (just to break the cycle)
2. Make eating a social activity rather than about the food - invite friends with kids round. Peer pressure is great here, and it changes the atmosphere
3. Try offering a few different finger foods (and pretty much any food can count as finger food to a toddler!), so he can choose what he wants.
4. Keep offering a few different foods - it really can take 10 or 20 times before they eat something new
5. When you offer 'real food', don't back down when he pushes it away otherwise he will learn that he just needs to kick up a fuss to get his own way. This isn't easy - he may end up not eating anything one mealtime, but as long as he's still happy and healthy, this is absolutely fine.
6. Listen to everyone who tells you he will get there, he really does just need time.

Hope that helps

In much the same vein as the pp:

Have you tried sitting down together with the same meal (perhaps cottage pie/roast dinner?) maybe even sharing the same plate?

Try swapping his highchair for booster chair to go on your dining chair so he feels like he's the same as you.

Make yummy noises when you eat 'Hmm, yummy, do you want some too, DS?'

You could try going cold turkey on the jars for lunch (or dinner) and just serve the table foods that you eat for a few days and see how it goes?