Fussy 11mo DD - strategy required

[cantmakecarrotcake]

I was going to phone my HV but I'm not hopeful of getting any more advice than 'persevere with family foods' so though MN might be a better place to ask...

My (nearly) 11mo DD is a fussy eater. She took forever to wean (kind of 'got' food at 8.5 months) and is currently stuck on 3 particular jars of stage 1 purees, sandwiches (cream cheese or peanut butter) and yoghurts. The jars (don't shoot me, I've tried everything including BLW) are mostly chicken, veg and have a bit of fruit/fruit juice that sweetens it slightly. There was a time when she'd eat a jar of bolognaise/beef casserole etc, but is now refusing. I think this happened after she was poorly with a chest infection and me being a softy gave her whatever she'd eat just to get some food in her.

I'm currently torn between being nice and going with what I know she enjoys and toughening up to trying and expand her repertoire a bit. She's going to nursery in January and while I can provide food for her I'd rather she ate what they offer. I try her on something different every day, often mixed with something I know she likes, but she turns 180 degrees in her highchair and won't entertain the spoon. If I try and get it anywhere near her face she screams.

I've tried finger food. She will eat small amounts of sandwiches, mini shredded wheat, oatibix bites and shreddies. She can also easily pick up raisins etc so her ability to get food to her mouth and eat it is fine. She just refuses to eat anything out of her current repertoire - she used to eat fresh pear/nectarine/plum/apricot etc and now won't. I'd love her to do all finger food and yum up a plate of pasta, but she won't eat pasta or veg.

Any thoughts about what to do next? She's getting to the age where she's learning that if she makes enough fuss she'll get what she wants.

I read somewhere that 'you choose what they eat, they choose how much they eat'. Wouldn't this approach mean she just refuses main course and moves straight to yoghurt?

As other info I'm BF after breakfast (or she wouldn't eat breakfast) and before bed, and usually once in the night (she can sleep through but rarely eats enough in the day to see her through I think). As an aside I'm ready to stop BF now, but she won't take any decent quantity of milk from a cup either.

I know it's really hard but if I were you I would just offer a variety of finger foods and leave her to it. Most importantly I would try and relax (hard to do I know).

If she doesn't eat much just clear
It away without a fuss. Give occasional praise if she does well. Just eat your food and let her eat/play/throw hers. It might take a while but she should start eating of her own accord. You could give her a mixture of foods you know she'll eat and foods she can try.

We had a terrible time with ds1, horrific. Very fussy boy. We should have relaxed about it a lot earlier than we did, as soon as we did relax he started eating more normally. He's still a bit fussy and eats small amounts (4yo) but he eats a good variety.

Ds 2 won't drink any large amount of milk, haven't found a solution! Tried
Loads of different cups, warming the milk, milkshake powders etc. At the moment he just gets his calcium through other sources for eg: cheese, milk on cereal, yogurt. He eats well though so its not as much of an issue.

I can't help with the food bit because DD is pure blw weaned and I never worried about how much she eats. Some days a lot, some days very little. We don't do puddings as a family so she doesnt have the choice to go straight to the sweet course

Don't worry about food at nursery. You would be surprised how much they want to copy their peers even at this young age. My DD started at nursery at 7mo. She won't entertain a spoon or a bottle from me. But she will take them at nursery! In fact we only restarted on the bottles because nursery said she was trying to grab someone else's bottle. You may well find once she's settled in she will want eat whatever the other babies are eating. She might continue to be fussy at home though.