At what age do you stop offering an alternative to meals if they don't eat?

[choceyes]

My DD is 15 months old, and sometimes refuses her dinner if it's not what she wants. She likes pasta based meals mostly, although she eats anything at nursery, she is fussier at home.

i have a 3yr old as well, who obviously doesn't get an alternative, except for maybe if I serve up something I know he won't like. but he will try most things, and if he only eats a little bit, then I offer him something to eat nearer bedtime, like toast.

i feel my 15 month is too young to be not offered an alternative and also as she wakes up quite a few times for BF during the night, I want her to eat something before bed. Today she didn't want the sausage and bean stew with rice I had made, threw everything on the floor. but when I offered her avocado (always the one food she never refuses) she ate about half an avocado. I don't know whether I am doing the wrong thing by doing this and I do this not too infrequently either. Even for breakfast today she ate avocado, as she only wanted a couple of spoonfuls of porridge and a few bites of toast.

So am I doign the wrong thing? is she big enough to say, that's your dinner, eat it or leave it?

Dd is 17months and I will offer her something else if I think she isn't eating it because she doesn't like it (if it's something new), but only toast or a sandwich.

If she is refusing something I know she likes, has eaten many times before, then she doesn't get anything else, I just assume she isn't hungry. I will usually give her some 'pudding' though eg fruit.

I am sure I would be trying to get as much food as possible down her if I was bf her a few times a night though!

thanks spottyteacakes!

She BF during the night even on nursery days when she's had a lot of food, although on those days she's not had as much milk as she doesn't take a bottle, or I guess she is either making up for milk or food!

My dd is fussy, and an on/off eater,she's 14 months so i always offer an alternative when she -fairly reliably-- bats away her meal... It is toast or breadsticks dunked in Philadelphia, not something fancy, but i am pg with twins and stopped bf, she doesn't take a bottle or drink milk so don't want to send her to bed hungry. I don't know if its right or wrong, but i do same as you!!! But with Philadelphia or organics oaty bars instead of avocado...

I think I have pretty much never offered an alternative. When DD was younger I would clear away any uneaten main course and just give her the (healthy) pudding without any comment. Now she's bigger she has to eat her main course (or at least most of it) if she wants pudding. I think the fact that your DD will eat at nursery shows its not an actual revulsion of particular foods but just being fussy. DD's appetite has always varied quite a bit - from day to day and from month to month - and so even if she used to eat 2 weetabix (say) but now just wants a quarter of a slice of toast for breakfast, I think you just have to go with it.

I hope that my approach has been vindicated by the fact that DD pretty much eats anything we offer her, and if she doesn't, it's because she's not hungry. She's 3. So I know that there's plenty of time for her to become a fussy eater, but for now it's all good!

Umm, in this house it was 6 months (i.e. when they were weaned).

If we'd tried things loads of times and they weren't eaten then we stayed away from that in the future.

Even now our ds's (6.1 and 3.7) are expected to try a bit of everything on their plate.

DS1 is a bit of a fussy eater, but ds2 will eat anything that's offered!

At her age I'd do the same as you are doing, albeit probably with toast or a sandwich. I tended to give it a bit later as though it was a snack rather than alternative though, because I didn't want ds to think it was because he'd refused supper. He's now almost three and a good eater (well healthy varied diet, has never eaten huge quantities, but is normal height and weight so think its just him. He only ever wants one biscuit too... )