Tell me is this bad or am I just over cautious??

[inspireme]

I'm really I interested in the whole 26 wks weaning v early weaning thing since I have food intolerances myself so maybe I'm just v critical of my sil as she weaned her lo at 15 wks, while i know this isn't super early, I can't help thinking she's causing problems for her LO already.

Her baby has been really unsettled since she started on solids, wakes twice during the night after previously sleeping through and cries an awful lot during the day when she used to be very settled. she's now 19 weeks.

She feeds her 3-4 meals a day including a bottle with a rusk in it a night. Her solids include potatoes mushed up with gravy and butter and yogurt, adult porridge and diluted orange juice. She takes a couple of bottles a day of 6oz and gets water when she wakes at night.

Most of our family are older so dont really understand new guidelines and these are the people giving her advice, it's my first baby too so they probably think I know nothing.

She keeps telling me about the trouble she's having with her LO, but as yet I've said v little as to what I think is the problem, as I know she would probably fall out with me if I say she might be doing something wrong. She thinks it teething I think she's not getting enough milk and us possibly having cramps etc.

Is it worth saying anything at the risk of starting something or do I just let her get on with it, or us what she is doing really not that bad??

Yes it is bad. There is a lot wrong with it.

If you are oging to wean before 26 weeks then there are a lot of foods to avoid including gluten and dairy. Weaning before 26 weeks should be done slowly, gradually introducing fruits and vegetables. Her diet sounds terrible from the information you have given. Rusk in a bottle is a choking hazard.

However, you really can't say anything. It is done. If she was just starting weaning then you culd have helpfully picked up the excellent NHS leaflet for her but it is done and there are some things you just can't say to people. All you can do is suggest to her that she talks to her HV about the problems she is having and hope th eHV puts her right.

Hv would be an option but she tends to keep some things to herself so wouldnt be getting proper advice, ie. She lied about the rusk thing when I asked her did she give her a rusk, but we know she does it as my DH seen her doing it in their house one night.

I know the whole avoiding gluten dairy thing so have tried to drop a few hints about it but to no avail.

I just can't help feeling sorry for her LO as I would never want to harm my LO, part of me thinks who cares if she falls out with me, if she listened to me it would be worth it, but I dont think it would be that easy.

One thing I would mention to her is that she may not be having enough milk? A couple of bottles a day of 6oz is not enough at this age.

It's up to her and not really your business BUT I would probably say something in a "helpful" way. Suggest she avoids dairy/gluten etc and sticks to fruit/root veg for another few weeks to see if she settles down.

If she's told you that she doesn't put rusk in a bottle, but you know that she does, then IMO she knows what your opinion would be and doesn't want to hear it, which is v difficult position for you to give her any advice from.

I'm sure she doesn't want to harm her baby, and thinks what she's doing is the right thing. I also agree that it absolutely isn't.
Could you discuss how you're going to wean your LO with whoever she's taken this advice from? Parents? If you persuade them that avoiding gluten, delaying weaning, etc etc is really important then they might have a really good chance of improving things. Do it without mentioning your sister at all.
Maybe comments you could make are things like "ooh, I never realsied that babies need so much formula /breast milk even when they're being weaned" which couldn't possibly be construed as being critical of her. Don't follow up with "and how much does yours have?", just leave it there.

Bumperella thats the kind of thing I've tried to do, by talking to mil and fil but I'm sure when they if they say anything to her she has know it's come from me as mil doesn't even know what gluten is. Although mil is not happy about butter and gravy in the mashed potatoes.

Decided I'm saying nothing as she is being really competitive towards my DH (her brother) in recent days about the two babies, so she has probably twigged onto our feelings and is trying to get across that her baby is doing ok regardless of early weaning etc. So I've no doubt it will only cause friction,so although I don't agree with what she's doing I will keep my nose out!