BLW, spoon feeding, bottle feeding - 8 month old refuses everything except BFing. Starting nursery soon....

[ItJustIsntEasy]

I am slowly starting to panic...my DS starts nursery in a couple of months (he will be 10 months by then) but so far is entirely breastfed. This would be a worry anyway but more to the point he is slowly sliding down the growth chart (not too drastic though) and still waking at least 3 times a night for BF.
We started him on solids at about 5.5 months, BLW just like we did with DD. Also tried a bit of mashed up banana/yogurt on a spoon around 6 months. This went well but then, by 7 months, he stopped completely. I worry that he has got scared after a few gagging episodes? I am trying all sorts of foods (finger food, wet food, spoon himself, traditional spoon feeding, mushy, crunchy, sweet, savoury...)in all sorts of ways (high chair/bumbo/floor/lap/on his own/with family group) but he is getting more and more anti-eating. This last week he has actually started getting upset and clearly demonstrating his unhappiness around food. He swerves away if you try to offer it up to him and ignores it entirely if you don't. He mouths his toys but not food. He also will not take a bottle, a cup, a sippy cup a straw cup whether with water, formula or EBF.....aaaarrgh!

I totally bought into the BLW ethos with my first child and assumed this one would be happy too but he just has zero interest and instead, I worry, fears food and non-boob drinks for some reason.
Any suggestions? Otherwise he is lovely, happy and energetic. He is still above the 50th centile line so not small. I am trying not to give off desperate vibes to him...

bump!

Do you mean he is losing weight or just not following the prescribed curve?

If it was me I might try, laying off solids for a few days, take the pressure off but make sure he sees you all enjoying meals. Then try leaving finger food on a low table with his toys - blocks, rattles, whatever he likes to chew. Ds has taken an age to start eating solids but he'd often eat a bit that way but nothing at mealtime. I think blw is great but some of them just don't get food for a long time, not sure if its just because they LOVE bf!

Also let him eat off your fork, drink from your cup, sometimes works here.

As I put on the other similar thread about return to work, some babies go all night without any food or drink so it maybe when you go back you just get more requests for milk at night and he'll manage during the day without you.

I think the most important thing is to keep calm, difficult I know.

Have you tried offering foods at different times? He might just not be hungry when you're offering it.

thank you both so much for your replies - I don't get online much at the weekend so only got them now.

I mean he is not following the prescribed curve and not gaining enough weight, but not losing weight I don't think, no. He is very active (crawling/cruising etc) so he is burning up lots of calories I suppose. He is also still BFing a lot during the night - maybe 4 times between 7-7.

Good advice from both - Albrecht, I will try that with the more casual approach to food on his table etc. He just took a tiny bit of yogurt off of my spoon so maybe that will help too.
Flisspaps, that is also a good idea. I tend to just be offering at typical meal times along with my toddler but as he is demand breastfed this could well be happening shortly after a BF. Will try that...

Right if they are not actually losing weight it is not a major concern. Those charts are not meant to be followed exactly, babies weight goes in fits and starts iyswim.

Ds was the same once he started getting active, in fact his weight gain completely stopped. He is just 16 months and has now started eating like a normal toddler (although teething does mess it up).

Have you got a local La Leche League because I went to a meeting recently and it was very reassuring with several mothers who had been through it with one or more child. I borrowed My Child Won't Eat written by a doctor with personal experience and it also really helped me get it in perspective.

I tried cutting down on his bf to get him hungry (advice of health visitor). I would not recommend it as I just had a very stressed out baby who ate even less solids.

Thanks OP, was going to post very similar thing! you've got some really useful responses there. I think it is particularly dificult if you see other babies eating their adult-sized packed lunch and you are there bf yours...
I just worry about iron, maybe your great respondees have some idea about this?

No answers here, I'm afraid - just wanted to say, don't panic. I went back to work when my DS was 10.5 months old and experienced a similar HUGE feeling of panic in the months leading up to that. We started with BLW at 6 months, then experimented with spoon-feeding, but after showing an initial interest in food in the first couple of months (while it was still novel) he refused everything. The only difference is that from about 7 months he would drink water from any type of cup. I'm not sure how I got him to do this - I just offered it a few times, and I think he was always interested in us drinking water.

Anyway, by 10.5 months he was still 95% EBF. A "meal" would consist of one or two (never more than four) mouthfuls. He'd have such a "meal" once a day on good days, but would often go several days without eating solids at all. In his first few days of nursery, he went 11 hours without milk or food until I got home from work. However, after a couple of weeks of this he started to drink milk from a cup and eat a tiny bit more.

At 12 months, he still hardly eats any solids, although he is now crazy for yoghurt and demolishes one every day for tea (feeding himself from the pot with a spoon). Sometimes he eats no solid food in a day apart from this, or he may have a few mouthfuls, nothing much. He BFs morning and bedtime and then 2-3 times in the night.

However he seems healthy and well, and I think even now that he would eat if he was really hungry, it is just that he prefers BF and is reverse-cycling so as to get most of his nutrition in the night rather than the day. I am psyching myself up to trying to cut down on night-time BFs to encourage him to eat more in the day - I would just have much preferred the change to have been led by him.

So I just wanted to say - even if he doesn't start eating before you go back to work, don't worry, you and he will manage.

As far as iron is concerned, I assume he must be getting it through his BF since he seems very healthy and active. I mentioned concerns about iron to the doctor once and he just looked at my DS and laughed.

Definately don't panic. Has similar problems with DS. ONce he started nursery he just ate what they gave him. He won't starve himself.

Do you want to continue BFing at night? I stopped to encourage him to eat more and it did help - and helped me get some sleep too.

The influence of peers can also have a tremendously good effect, even at a young age. Your DS may decide once in nursery that a cup is acceptable after all. I would try not to worry and just see how things pan out. It could change at any time. Agree with taking the pressure off with solids and just having them around / offering bits of yours.

I just came on MN to post almost the exact same problem. My DS is also 8 months old and has been refusing solids in any form for two months. It's really starting to get me down as I feel like I have done something wrong and failed him, and I worry about his development if he's not working on his chewing skills. I had a visit from a feeding specialist (who works from the speech therapy unit) who has advised that we try to get him to accept tastes of things, so have been smearing anything and everything on his toys, a spoon, his fingers, etc, but that doesn't seem to have improved anything.

The idea of him not eating properly aged 1, like a previous poster, totally horrifies me. I too will be returning to work in a few months and it's a scary thought at the moment.

Glad I am not on my own. My wee man is 9 mths and will only eat yoghurt fruit ready brek and suck toast! He did start off really well then decided no to the dinners. I am still bf and he seems happy and healthy... Trying not to worry.

interesting to read these posts as i've been having the same problem. O is exclusively breastfed and we started weaning at 6 months with mainly finger food. I have tried to introduce the spoon as it seems much less messy and easier to mush up what you are having for tea but O won't take the spoon. I am finding that both he and I are getting frustrated so think will go back to finger food totally...although should I persevere with the spoon?

He is going to nursery in 6 weeks so have got to get him weaned onto the cup too and am bit worried about it but figure nursery will probably help him if he sees other little ones drinking from their cups and I'm not around to offer him bf.