Am I being mean not weaning dd2 (nearly 20 weeks)?

[Skyler]

I really wanted to wait until the 26 week recommendation but dd2 who is breastfed has just upped her feeding to every 2 hours day and night. I am exhausted (particularly as dh is away on a course for three weeks and I have dd1 (2.7) to look after too), and she seems really hungry. She is over 16lbs and has two teeth already so I know that she is thriving on my milk but is it still enough?
I asked at a baby group I go to and was very shocked as they all weaned between 3 and 4.5 months. I weaned dd1 at 17 weeks (the recommendation was from 16 then) and feel this was too early as she wasn't bothered, but is it fair to make dd2 wait when she seems hungry. I know this topic has probably been done to death so sorry but I could do with some opinions/help/advice/support. TIA

you'd be far meaner weaning her now and risking health problems later on

it is normal for them to have a growth spurt around this point .. it will settle down

just because they weaned at an inapporpriate and ill-advised time doesn't mean you should

No you're not.
You're fabulous!
Remember,there are more calories in your milk than in any of the stuff she could eat now,so the 'hungry' thing is a no brainer really.

you know the answer!
Wait till 6 months ignore well meaning advice!!
My babies were born 10lb 2 and 9lb 15 and waited till 6 months..thy were hungry boys..eat really well now!

Skyler - it's still enough, even though you might feel you've had enough already!

Breast milk is more calorific than the solid food that you will be starting her on, so putting her onto solids isn't necessarily going to stop her wanting to feed every two hours.

I don't know whether it was a growth spurt but my dd had a couple of weeks at around 20 weeks when she wanted to feed every two hours during the night, it passed within a week or two but it was horrible while it was happening. She was weaned at 16 weeks (that was the advice at the time - wish I'd know then what I do now) and it made no difference at all to her wanting to feed.

Good luck - I know it's awful, but it will pass.

I think she may seem hungry but won't necessarily be less hungry if you introduce solids as the amounts are so insignificant

Thank you for the quick replies. I needed that (esp yours Moondog lol). I think I will feel better about it all when dh is home on Sat. I am just knackered and bf feels like an effort at the moment which has never happened before (happily fed dd1 till 12 months). I do want to wait so will take it a day at a time... Glad you are all so positive that it is right to wait.

I was wondering and beginning to doubt myself as even my HV said it might be an idea to start . I thought I would get the support from her .

We are nicer and cleverer than all the HVs

I'd echo what others have said. FWIW, ds was 10lb 50z and was happy on me milk until he was nearly 7 months (his choice).
Growth spurts are hard, but they do pass.

Don't give in to weaning if your bean seems O.K. I only bf for 10 weeks (hope to go longer next time - so congrats on lasting this long)I didn't wean until dd was 24 weeks and she was on formula by then - and apparently then are supposed to get weaned earlier? Anyway, dd was fine and didn't seem to want to wean so I held out (only weaned then as I was going on holiday) dd didn't seem particularly bothered to be honest.

Go with your own instincts, it's too easy to get caught in the competitive mums thing - seems to be 'good' to wean early (according to some of my antenatal 'friends' ) but then their babes could tapdance before their first birthdays!

Making up bl*dy icecubes of food is more tiring IMO!

Hi, I'm also reassured to read this thread as my DD is 21wks and if I had a pound for everytime someone asks "is she eating yet?", "is she on food yet?" etc. I would be very rich by now! I know what they mean, but she's eating food, it's just liquid not solid!

It does feel like everyone weans as soon as possible but don't let this make you feel like you are being mean! You're sacrificing sleep to do what's best for your baby, absolutely not mean in the slightest - though I have wondered myself whether I am being mean so I know what you are saying. I hope in the long term I'm doing the right thing and will be pleased not to have caved in to the pressure.

My DD is starting to seem frustrated with the last bf of the day (around 4-5pm) before bedtime and I'm starting to feel if that continues with other feeds and/or she starts to up her feeds as yours has, I'm going to feel like I need to start on some solids but I really would like to get to 6m, same as you. I think you've done the right thing - come on MN for some reassurance and go with your gut feeling, which is to carry on as you are - grin and bear the extra feeds and hope they pass soon. And try to get some rest when she does sleep, if DD1 lets you!

I would just like to say that I agree with waiting until 6 months before weaning.

I had a terrible time when my M and F ILs came over on a holiday to stay with us for 3 MONTHS ( so glad they live abroad ).

When my dd turned 4 months they made it their mission to change my mind about weaning at 6 months as they weaned their children at 4 months ( and sometimes even 3) so they decided it was best if I did the same.

It didn't matter to them that I had been advised by my health visitor OR that I had books stating why 6 months was recommended (AND I even left them lying around for them to read, open at the right pages- which they did), they just weren't prepared to take any of it on board.

Not only that but they moaned to all the other in laws( brother and sister ILs and even nephews and neices!!!!) and so they all became involved in this 'mission' and all had a go.

I did, however, just about manage to remain polite although inside I was soooo infuriated.
My advice is to let them think what they like, sit tight, dig your heels in and do what you know is best for your children.

Let those with 'good intentions' know that their views have been heard but know that you are the parent, you're not being mean at all.
best of luck.

Also, just think f**k off - it's my child - or if it gets really bad scream it out.

copy an paste this link :

www.dh.gov.uk/assetRoot/04/11/70/83/04117083.pdf

this is info the dept of health gives on weaning. hope it helps

Thank you again ladies. I feel a bit better today although dd2 is still up every two hours. I spoke to a great friend of mine who used to live here and has two babies the same age as mine (dd2's are 3 days apart) and she too was so encouraging and supportive that I was doing the right thing. In fact she made me feel like a mad woman to consider weaning early .
You are so right about the ice cubes too.
GC - How did you cope for three months OMG. I am off to look at that link now thank you.
Hi KVG - Sorry you are so tired too. We miss you on the Junie thread. There are a few missing at the mo actually, but I am sure people will have a chance to catch up soon. I am not doing that well without dh, dd1 has never watched so much TV LOL. I think that I just needed the reassurance that I was doing the right thing and not being stupid! I feel boosted by you all. Thank you.

I just wanted to let you all know that dd2 is sleeping much better now and only woke twice last night between 7pm to 6am. I am so pleased that I did not bow to any pressure and thank you again for helping me and for your support with my decision.

Great - what a relief for you!

Mine is also doing well at night lately - brilliant, isn't it?!

Yes, fantastic!

Please humour my first-time-mum jitters...

Took DD to HV who, after weighing said "are you giving her plenty of solids?" to which I say "no, she doesn't have any". You can imagine the rest...

she's dropped below the 50th centile (27th at a guess), starting at 22 weeks is not rushing in to it, etc. She did say DD is doing well and she's not worried about her weight but I definitely was made to feel daft for not starting her off yet. People are always commenting on what a contented baby she is so please reassure me I should wait! I said about calories and should I up the milk intake but this was ignored really. She has gained 6oz in the 3 weeks since we last went. Should I offer more bfs in the day, do you think? Might end up giving more anyway as she's teething (that's another thing, another thread I think!)

Feeling a bit cr@p though I know I should know better!

Racers - my baby (2nd) is 26 weeks on Saturday and hasn't had any solids yet - starts Sat. If your HV gets you down with unsupportive comments, don't go! I think 2 oz per week is ok weight gain at this stage. Is she breastfed?

I know, I knew I shouldn't have gone as soon as she said that - it's a shame isn't it?! She is 80% bf with 1 formula feed per day, so I guess the chart is no good indicator anyway?!

Good old DH has come home and fully backed me up on everything, bless him!

Oh dear poor you! .
I think at this stage as long as she is still gaining weight that is great. Do you think she is moving about a lot more ie rolling around etc. This will burn up more calories too. As you obviously know those charts are based on bottlefed babies, not breastfed ones. Breastfed babies don't gain weight at such a steady rate. My dd1 dropped down the chart (then up again and then down again), so if she is not fussing and seems alert and happy don't fret......and don't bother getting her weighed again for a while. Re-read the replies below and take heart. Follow your instincts and good luck .
FWIW I weaned dd1 at 17 weeks and although she took to solids beautifully I do feel this was too early and she didn't need them.
I do find it quite disconcerting that your HV seems of a similar opinion to mine though.....but I am sticking to my guns.