Finger feeding and choking - does this sometimes happen?

[SharkSkinThing]

DS is 8 months old and on solids and finger feeds himself brilliantly - all the usual stuff, safe shapes and sizes, is never left alone, and always manages to spit anything that gets stuck.

But. Twice in two months I have had to put my finger down into his throat to hook out something he is choking on - red face, watering eyes, clearly needed assistance. Both times it was something he's never had a problem with before (and not fish, or meat or chunks of apple). Scary for him, scary for me. He's fine, a bit of a cuddle and he's straight back in again.

Is this pretty common? Or am I doing something wrong? DP has, on this basis, said that he won't feed DS finger foods if he's ever on his own, as he's too nervous in case it happens and he won't know what to do.

Hmmmm, without wanting to be patronising are you sure he is choking not gagging? Gagging is very common, particularly if your DS is having purees as well as more solid finger foods as he might be more used to "drinking" the puree and then gets a proper hard lump from the finger food and it doesn't go down quite so easily. It is scary but babies have a really strong gag reflex to stop them from actually choking. Red face + watering eyes could be gagging?

My very nice HV used to say "gagging is learning, gagging is fine, choking needs action straight away but gagging is natural". I liked this mantra, and the first aid course she recommended in case of actual choking (and other emergencies like burns etc) was great too! Perhaps your DP might consider going on a first aid course to feel more confident if something were to happen?

(also without wanting to be patronising we were taught that if a baby is choking you are meant to do back slaps first, as trying to pull something out might make it worse. Helps if they are gagging too)

HTH

Choking is silent by definition as the airway is blocked. Gagging will be accompanied by the horrible retching noises. Both distressing obv.

Ds was great at stuffing huge quantities of food into himself to the point that he would gag and I'd have to hook some of it out. Lots of spluttering/red/watering eyes.

Thankfully he never choked but do make sure you know what to do if he does (agree with shark - fingers in the mouth if choking not a good idea).

I think my ds has needed to be tipped up/back slapped more often than twice in the last the couple of months so I'd say your ds is doing alright!

I'd also me very wary of sticking your fingers in his mouth though - I have sometimes grabbed things if it's big bits half out of his mouth/right at the front of his mouth (he gets very over-excited with bananas) but you don't want to push anything too far in.

I have seen a couple of children properly choking (one a baby, one about 12) and it was completely silent, so if there's any spluttering or coughing (ds sometimes sounds like a cat with a hairball) then it's probably gagging. I definitely recommend doing a paediatric first aid course if you can though.

Thanks so much everyone, and not at all patronising, not in any way, I'm just so grateful for the advice.

It does seem then like he is gagging, and not choking, as he also does the cat with a hairball thing. I always wait a few seconds to see if he can dislodge it himself, but I will certainly stop putting my fingers in his mouth, and instead whisk him out of the high chair and slap his back instead.

I've had a good read through my first aid book and feel a bit better about what to do. He really is such a brilliant eater with finger food that I don't want to suddenly remove it all, as he's generally very capable.

I do sometimes offer four or five things on his tray though, so perhaps I should reduce those a bit, so he's not so dazzled by the variety! He's a bit of a stuffer, too. Wonder where he gets that from..