reluctantly BLW-ing, come and reassure me!

[ExistentialistCat]

Tried BLW with DD1. I didn't like it (too much of a control freak, mostly) and she didn't show any interest, so I started spoonfedding her after six weeks or so (never purees, just mashed up family food, and always let her self-feed if she wanted to). She eats well now (well for a toddler, that is).

Now DD2 is 6 months old (BF, btw, whereas DD1 was ff - I'm told this can make a difference to them accepting spoons). I decided to go with purees this time round, following my first experience. But we're a week in and it's quite clear that she has other ideas. Sometimes she'll eat a whole load of baby rice from a spoon, but mostly she gets upset and wants to hold the spoon and wave it about (so I let her).

I'm going to have to do this BLW thing again, aren't I... I really want my girls to enjoy their food and eating together to be a positive experience, but I do find the mess and slow pace of BLW quite hard.

Don't know what I'm asking for really... Suport and reassurance, I guess. I'm a bit nervous of the replies I might get because it feels like EVERYONE on mumsnet loves BLW and I've sometimes felt quite alone with my difficulties with it. Please be gentle!

I was really keen on the idea, and am having to do it as DS absolutely refuses a spoon, but I am finding it incredibly frustrating at the same time. I am happy to support and reassure :)

I find that I've always finished eating LONG before DS has, so it is a bit frustrating. On the other hand, when else do I get to sit still and have a cuppa? That's what I tell myself!

Oddly, I'm really enjoying BLW even though I'm a control freak about lots of things. Maybe cos I've BFed him I'm used to 'not knowing how much he's getting'? Dunno. Anyway, you'll love it secretly, I promise! I get frustrated with it, but then I get frustrated with endless games of 'boo' and stuff too- and I find it helps to look at it that way: this is a game, not a calorie-delivery service. Milk does that! (and tell self again. And pick up dropped breadstick. and tell self again!)

Our low-mess options for BLW are: eggy bread soldiers, (beat up egg, soak slightly stale/toasted bit of bread in it, fry like you would an omlette, flipping once, till all golden), any kind of quiche (he seems to like spinach and mushroom, picking things like slices of chicken, tomato and carrot out of a salad, peanut butter on a rice cake (ok this gets pretty messy but he LOVES it) and fingers of pancake, fingers of any./all fruit and veg, slices of hard-boiled eggs (now at 7 mos he can do it, at 6 it was too frustrating). He also loves hummous on anything, and cream cheese on anything, within reason. It's only when we have a v. saucy supper (pasta, etc) that it's REALLY smeary.

Erm - did that come across as helpful? It was intended to be, and not all yay I'm the best BLW mum ever... some days DS shovels in food, some days he gets cross, and some days I find peanut butter or avocado behind his ears hours later and suspect I'm a terrible, terrible mother! :)

blackcurrants said most of what i was going to say. I too was forced to blw FT when i had planned it only PT initially (yes i know some ppl say theres no such thing as PT blw but i dont think theres such a need to be so purist, but thats another thread) i too have a spoon refuser! anyway check out babyledweaning.com the forums there afe brilliant for blw

Thank you for your replies, all. It's good to know that I'm not the only one with mixed feelings about BLW. So many people seem to be almost evangelical about it!

Another two days have passed with no food passing my daughter's lips. I'm trying not to worry, I'm trying to make mealtimes relaxed and sociable and essentially another bit of playtime. I tell myself that my primary aim is to get her to see mealtimes as a positive and fun thing, rather than to get her eating. I give her bits of food and a spoon with a smear of puree on it to fling about the place and just generally try to involve her in the whole experience of eating. But she doesn't seem that interested and it's hard to see how she'll progress to actually eating anything at this rate.

ds loves those porridge fingers in the blw cook book, with some grated apple in but boy are they messy!! dh and i have decided a hand held vac is a blw essential. Otoh the cats think they've died and gone to heavev

heavev is where cats go when humans go to heaven.

ExistentialistCat one of the things we did was video ds every few days and then when you look back at the videos you realise they're making more progress than you think.

the milestones in blw are not immediately about 'how much food are they eating' which is hard to get your head around at first. it's initially about are they playing with the food, do they then put some of it in their mouth, do they then start to chew, then swallo, do they start to understand that this thing that you place in front of them is food and something to be eaten etc etc

i still struggle with it but i really have no other way as it seems nor do you!

and its worth it for the fun they have when eating, so many people love to see ds eat because he really enjoys it, and you don't get that reaction in general to puree weaned babies. also worth it for the variety of things ds has eaten.

I'm one of the blw evangelists (dd1 is in the blw book :)) but I know what you mean about stressing about food. Weaning is so dull and messy! But think of it like this, it's such early days, it's a whole host of new skills that are going to take a while to master. And all weaning in messy, but with blw you get to the messiest part early, and get it out of the way.

I've just given DS his tea, it was a bit random as we've been out most of the day, but he had some chicken, a breadstick and a rice cake with cream cheese on, and some banana, and he went nuts with it, really shovelling it it, so I think he is really starting to get the hang of it. going to be a bit more adventurous and start giving him actual bits of meals I think, rather than just sticks of veg etc that he's had up till now.

Muslimah, I lost track of the old thread, how are you doing with the sleep now?

Dd had jambalaya yesterday and wolfed it down! It was a bit sloppy so I did spoon feed her a little. I'm actually less of a purist than I was with dd1 as I am so desperate to fill her up to make her sleep!

hi cosmosis! i too lost track of the other ncss thread! well basicallly we did shushpat for about 2 weeks, and it worked for a while, but i found it frustrating as it didn't help for when ds was more interested in crawling around the cot (baby needs to be in one place for shushpat!) so i've gone back to rocking to sleep.

sometimes i wonder if i just wasted my time trying so many different things with ds' sleep as rocking to sleep just works. you hear and read so much about how it's a 'bad thing' but really, i don't care anymore, it works and im fine with it for now.

on the plus side, he is sleeping longer. he can last 2-3 hours now. may not be progress to some, but for me its been a huge relief!!

That's good, at least you feel you have some progress :)