My baby will not eat food!

[fifitot]

Forgive me for starting a new thread - I was on another one but can't find it. Essentially my 8m old doesn't eat food. I thought by now he would have settled in to eating but he just has no interest.

He was/is BF but at nursery 4 days pw where he will have a few oz of expressed or formula milk and eats a small lunch but a larger tea as probably starving by then. At home he just wants BFing though! Refuses breakfast and will have a couple of spoonfuls of dinner or tea but basically doesn't want to know. Last weekend he had no food whatsoever!

He will mess with finger food but won't eat it. He BFs about 4-5 times per day and this includes a couple at night. HV tells me to cut down on milk feeding but it's so difficult. If I try and give him food when he wants milk he screams the house down!

I know it takes a while to wean but really at 8m I would have thought some progress would have been made.

Any suggestions for helping him along?

9 months seems to be a turning point for many babies with regard to food, keep that in mind.

It's also important that you understand that food, at this age, is not about nutrition or filling them up - it's about learning. So whether he eats it or not is matterless, because the milk should still be supplying him with everything he needs.

I wouldn't rush him - just let him take his own pace. After all, you know in your heart that at 5 years old he's not going to be living on breastmilk - so what's a few more weeks? :)

Food for fun until they're one
From one till two they'll follow you

Completely agree with OP - food is for exploring and the milk is the main nutrition for at least the first year

Relax and don't get in a battle over mealtimes

Highly recommend the book "my child won't eat" by Carlos Gonzalez...much more reassuring than it sounds, I promise! My little local library has a copy so it's worth looking there, or if you can find an LLL group near you, for support with this too, they normally have a copy in their library, plus you'll no doubt meet other mums who have had children that didn't eat that much in the first year

trust your baby and trust the milk is enough

Thankyou!I do need to just go with him I know but it's hard not to compare him with other babies who wolf down loads of food AND sleep well at night - instead of waking up for milk!

My HV was less than helpful which also didn't help.

Thanks again.

Wolfing down lots of food often seems to make them wake more at night in fact. If you think about it, the calorific content of some boiled carrot or pureed apple isn't much compare to milk, is it? So a young baby eating a lot of solids probably has little room for daytime milk, and so wakes up hungry for more at night!

Go with the flow :)

Another weekend of zero food aside from chewing on a bit of toast but not really swallowing it!

I know what you mean about the calories in milk v puree but at 8m he should be having pasta, potatoes and other textured food should I think he should be having more carbs tbh.

I am trying to go with the flow but it's really hard not to panic when he only wants milk al the time.

He doesn't need carbs, but he does need milk.

Yes, in an ideal world he'd be trying lots of new foods and sleeping through the night. But he doesn't know that! To him, food is just another activity, a game! He won't make the connection between food and hunger for at least another 2 months or so. So if he's hungry, he'll think "It's time for milk!", food won't even enter his head!

In terms of sleeping through, DD was BLW'd and went for it great guns from about 10 months. She eats like a horse. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks.

She still wakes at night for milk. She's 19mo!

Solids do not equal sleep! It's not as simple as that. So try not to sit there thinking "Oh if only he'd eat that plateful, then he'd sleep through" - because it only serves to drive you round the twist! I did it myself for a while. And then she started eating, and...oh, no, still didn't sleep through!

See meals like he does, an opportunity to play. He will be experiencing new tastes and textures, even if he's not "eating". It's still helping him.

I know what you mean but why do some babies make that connection before 10m or so?

I want to stop bfing at 12 months so really need him to be eating well so know he's not waking purely out of hunger at night. BFing is great for them I know but I am totally ready to stop, just can't handle the demands second time round especially with another child to look after too.

I am so sleep deprived and do seem to remember sleep improving when DD was fully established on solids and did a bit of sleep 'training' then knowing she wasn't hungry through the night.

Maybe it won't help with this one but it might.
Thanks for posting - I know I sound negative but am just really knackered and fed up!

Firstly i think you need to get over the idea that you can somehow make him be ready for more solids. You can't.

Secondly, being established on solids doesn't mean they don't get hungry at night. Myself and plenty others will be able to tell you about 2 year olds having growth spurts needing cheese sandwiches at night.

I don't mean to be harsh but you're being a bit unfair on your baby by lumping all these sleep expectations on his feeding. What your daughter did has no bearing on what he'll do :). Goodness knows i can sympathise with the tiredness - had another night from hell myself last night! - but really, he's so tiny, too tiny to mould and rush, and tiny enough that this could all have changed by this time next week!

We're still on about 7 bf a day (including a couple at night) dc3 is now 8.5 months and is finally eating ,very little, but in a regular pattern so i feel we're making progress. I have not cut her bf down, this just finally happened on it's own . I hope you see some progress soon fifi, there's really not much you can do that you're not doing already and eventually there just won't be a problem anymore. I've been a lot more relaxed since i gave up making puree and I just give her a miniscule amount of what the other 2 are having to throw on the floor.

I know how you feel - while all of my DS' peers were eating (purees or finger foods), he was still (happily) just playing with food while waking up for an extra bottle. I worried and tried all sorts of strategies for helping him (picnics, lunch with friends, different foods or food in different ways), but in the end it made no difference. He worked it out for himself and suddenly started eating. I happened so quickly that I was left wondering why I had been so worried.

I know it's not easy, but you just have to trust he'll get there.

About being off bf at 12 months - from one year, they can drnk whole cows milk and if you wanted to, you could supplement bfing with formula before that.

Thanks - I know all you all say is right but I think I am so impatient because I am so knackered all of the time. No sleep for 8m basically - at least 3 feeds a night at the moment, working and with a 4 year old too!

I know my situation is not as bad as some peoples but forgive me for craving sleep! I know weaning is not the answer, I am just clinging onto hope!

fifi i agree that eating well is not the answer to sleeping better but i can't stop night feeds with any confidence until dc3 is on 3 proper meals a day.So i feel that eating solids well would be a step towards me getting more sleep.We were doing ok (7pm 1am 4am 7am) until the mornings got lighter and she's waking for the day at 5.30. Ugh.

Yes Moo if you know your child has had some decent grub you won't feel like you are starving them if you try and cut back on the night feeds - that's my issue anyway.

I do 7pm,10pm, 1am and 4am - every 3 hours at night. Pretty much what you do actually! At least I know I'm not the only one up at that time! It's ridiculous I think for an 8m old but don't feel confident to try anything until I know he's genuinely not hungry!

What are his nappies like? I have an 8mo, BF and doesnt eat much during the day either.
Im doing BLW as he totally refused the spoon (except yoghurt/fruit pots) he'll chew things, suck things, bite things but the amount of food actually going into him is quite small.

I always forget how tiny their stomachs are though, a few raisins and bread would fill them up.

He still feeds at night, whether for comfort or food I dont really know/mind.

Nappies vary. Reasonably solid during the week as has eaten a bit at nursery, not so much at weekends when he eats nothing.

Noticed today when I gave him a bit of pitta to chew that he was moving the food around his mouth really well so there is hope! He then choked a bit but coughed it up quite easily.

Hi fifi we are doing pretty much the same except one big difference ,i don't work. I assume you do as your dc goes to nursery ( maybe you're just so tired you send him to get a rest) and as my older dc are both at school(age 6 and 4) i have the whole day to scrape cream cheese out of dc3's hair and 'share' a lunchtime omlette.You must be completely exhausted.
Pitta bread chewing is a good sign .... my latest ploy is to spoon some of the other dc's food into a pitta and flatten it and cut it up for dc3. That way i can kid myself that she's aquiring a taste for squash and spinach stew.I wish she'd let me spoon slop down her like the other 2 did.

Yes I work 4 days pw .................yawn.

fifi my ds chokes on all sorts, I try to give him small bits but still big enough for him to pick up.
Its natural for them and they have a great gag reflex so try not to worry too much about that.

Yes not so worried about the gagging. Have read the BLW book which was reassuring!

No food for the last 3 days...........................Getting a bit concerned now.

Do you mean not even sucked a piece of toast fi? I've got pretty low standards these days and when dc3 uses her 2 teeth to scrape the inside off a baked potato skin ( having chucked all the lovely cheesy potato filling on the floor) I feel all positive. I have found a 'hunger window' by not bf her after her lunchtime nap and then doing early tea. I don't want to cut down on daytime bf as I'm worried she'll wake more in the night but i think it may be the way forward. We've had ok nights with dc3 but dc2 is really unwell and has spent the past 2 nights whimpering every 2 hours. The clocks change has thrown me completly off routine too.

Hardly anything. Ate a tiny bit at nursery on Friday but nothing all weekend. Well 4 tsp yoghurt and a chew of pitta today. Fed like a newborn though. Has got a cold so maybe that's it. However he is nearly 9m now - this really has to change. Getting ridiculous and I am really fed up with it Moo.

I try to cut down on bfs as you do but doesn't seem to work much. Sigh.............

God he's crying again and won't settle. I am bloody sick of this. Won't eat and feeding like a newborn. It's ridiculous and actually very depressing. I know people keep saying 'he'll get it' but time is moving on and on and there is no sign of change, in fact last week things seem to have got worse. Really don't know what to do with him.

Teeth? Dc3 went bananas when her 2 teeth came through (never had this with dc1 and at least dc2 would swallow calpol).

Dc3 ate what i consider to be well yesterday : bf 6am, sucked toast 7.30am, bf9am, 1 rice cake with cream cheese,0.3 of a mashed banana, about 100ml plain yog 11.30,bf, 3.30 bf , 0.25 of a piece of cheese on toast, same yog and mashed banana again,piece of whole banana,refused pasta 5pm, 6.30bf,sleep, rocked back to sleep 9.30pm and midnight, bf 2.30am ,6am.......so not a lot but it's such progress from where we were a month ago. She's nearly 9m too. I'm still avoiding the HV even though DH(bless him) thinks they might be able to offer some useful advice. In my view you can't make your child eat so all you can do is keep offering the same stuff at the same times until they 'get it'. My other 2 dc are fantastic eaters, maybe she'll copy them eventually....

Do you know any adults who only drink milk?! Give him a break, he's ill and you're expecting him to eat food which is harder work and less comforting than breastmilk. It WILL get better, you stressing over his food intake is not good for either of you.