2yo Fussy Eater....Please Help!!!

[ChunkyMonkeysMum]

Please help me!...... (sorry if this is long)

I have 2 DS's. DS1 is 7 and DS2 is 2.5. DS1 is Autistic but has always been a fantastic eater. DS2 on the other hand is a nightmare!

He has speech and language delay & isn't yet talking, although is understanding more and more daily. When I started weaning at 5/6 months he would happily eat my home made meals, all mushed down. He then decided one day he wasn't going to eat them anymore, either refusing to eat them, turning his head away or even gagging if the spoon went anywhere near his mouth. I had to finally admit defeat & try him with the 4 month old baby jars . He happily ate these. He would also eat sandwiches, crisps, biscuits, bananas, cake, yoghurts, sweets etc with no gagging so it is clearly not a problem with lumps. However when I tried him on anything other than the 4 month old jars (7/10 month etc) he would refuse them. This has continued and he is now 2.5.

He is also very fussy with breakfast & will only eat ready brek or weetabix, but regularly gags whilst eating them, even throwing up.

I have tried numerous times to get him to eat fruit, vegetables, fish fingers, baked beans, ham etc, all of which he turns his nose up to.

He has now decided that he doesn't like the 4 month old jars anymore either so is now living on a bowl of ready brek/weetabix (if he eats it) and a bottle of milk for breakfast, a sandwich on white bread with cream cheese or jam, a packet of skips and a banana for lunch then the same for dinner with a yoghurt and then a bottle of milk before bed.

How do I get him to even try anything else? I feel I have exhausted all avenues. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated

Thanks in advance.

Oh no! Massive sympathies from me. My two year old is not quite so bad (he will eat sandwiches with cream cheese or houmous, or pasta pesto for savoury food plus fruit, yoghurt and ready brek. And cakes of course )

It is the bane of my life!!

Have you tried serving him normal food (what you are having) for one meal a day, and only giving him banana, yoghurt if he doesn't eat it. This is what we do, continually. It rarely/never works but I feel better that he's getting the opportunity to try new things and is learning that the normal thing to do is to sit down all together and eat the same thing, even if he doesn't eat it. General advice on here seems to be not to persuade them to eat, take it away without comment if they don't eat it. I have read differing advice on whether to praise them if they eat something new, lots of times I have seen said that you shouldn't praise or criticize, but I also have some leaftlets from the HV on fussy eating which says to praise them if they do try new things. I tend to praise as I can't help it! Also have read you should let them stick their fingers in stuff and investigate even if they are not eating it, so they explore texture, etc. We have difficulties with that in our family as DH thinks he should be learning table manners and this kind of conflicts. We handle it by letting him take it out look at it, mush it up, etc, but not throw it around.

We also do all the usual advice of cooking with him (he loves this and seems very interested in the food/ingredients but still doesn't eat the end result). I think it does him good to do it though and learn names of foods, how to cook, etc.

Sorry I can't offer that much good advice, as mine is still fussy. And it annoys me so much sometimes I just want to scream at him.

That's exactly how I feel SummerLightning!

Part of the problem I think is that we don't all eat together as I work 5 days a week & DH works 6 days a week, so by the time we get in we just have enough time to get the kids fed and bathed before it's time for bed, then we eat later on. But the 2 kids eat at the same time and DS2 sees DS1 eating a variety of different foods.

I have just cut up some cheese and put it on his plate. He shovelled a piece into his mouth then promptly took it out again! I then held it to his lips and said "Take a bite" which he did, then pulled the most ridiculous faces and started gagging! Next I tried pitta bread and houmous. I dipped his finger in the houmous while he looked at me like I was mad. He then screwed his face up and rubbed it into his hand. I put some on his lips which he licked and then gagged. He wouldn't even try the pitta on it's own!

It's driving me mad. I have tried him with baby pasta and sauces but he refuses point blank to even try it. Just turns his face away, pushes the bowl away etc.

I am glad I'm not alone though!!

Yeah it is hard when you are working, I am on Mat Leave at the moment so we do get chance to eat all together sometimes, but often DH is not home in time. I eat with him at lunch as well and offer him bits of mine which he always refuses in favour of his houmous sandwiches. What is he like at nursery or wherever he is in the daytime?

Do you think the gagging thing is just an attention thing? It sounds a bit weird, perhaps you could ask the doctor?

It's good that he is putting things to his mouth and taking bites in my opinion. I would keep trying to persuade him to try things.

FWIW we had the jars only stage as well, but he would eat the stage 3 ones. Bloody tomato and mozarella pasta or something it was called. When he was about 15 months or so I said no more and withdrew them! He survived on toast and bread for a while, then at some point pasta got introduced to the agenda. I think it was a pesto pasta salad from Tesco that he suddenly started eating one day!

He is at my Mums in the daytime and he's exactly the same there as at home, just survives on bloody sandwiches!

No I don't think the gagging is an attention thing, I just think he convinces himself that he's not going to like something before he even tries it .

I've just never known a child to be so fussy. Neither DH or myself are particularly fussy eaters and DS1 certainly isn't, so not sure why DS2 is.

If I leave food in front of him he will just sit there but won't touch it. He will come over to us to see what we're eating but if we offer him some, unless its cake or crisps, he turns away! Nightmare.

My DD does exactly the same thing and I have tried everything from punishment to bribery! She only eats a selcet menu of things and, even if I can convince her to try something new, she will lick it and decide she doesn't like it. She gags on things like meat and potato, which I genuinely think is a reaction that comes from her convincing herself that she won't like it.

The most common advice I have received is just to leave her! She is now 3 and whilst she doesn't eat anything else, she is slowly showing more of a willingness to try things. Ultimately though she is happy and healthy and mealtimes are not as traumatic as they once were, when I was stressing out bout her trying new things. Once she is a little older and her mealtimes can slot into ours, I think she may start to try things but it seems that this problem really is quite a common one and the answer is to simply let them eat what they like and hopefully they will grow out of it.

She did recently try cucumber at school and yellow cheese! No doubt as a result of watching what her friends eat so hopefully as she gets older she will be more willing to try things.

Hope this helps.

Thanks Shellpop. I think you're right, I'm just going to let him eat what he likes for now. I do keep popping the odd "strange" thing in though in the hopes he'll just put it in his mouth without thinking , although it hasn't worked yet!!

My ds is 17 months and a pain to feed. He was weaned at about 5 months because of reflux and was happy for about a month then started refusing. He has always been a pain drinking bottles it would take 2 hours to give him 5 oz. Then food time which took an hour then after an hour time for a bottle again!
Ds refused higher stage jars. He took a liking to our food though. That was also short lived. He is on regular meds for severe reflux and I'm lucky if ge eats a meal a day. He's on high calorie milk too.
Hes been bad with weight gain. 8lb plus at birth and at 17 months 19lb.
The milk is short term as I'm not happy giving it term if they don't do something about the problem ( reflux) he's got appointment tomorrow with gastric pead.
He refuses food because of pain. He realises it hurts so he's happy hungry.

I feel like I fit in lol.
It's sooo stressful going through this. I really feel for the other mums!