Would you...force one last mouthful?

[gemma4d]

Not sure if I should be in AIBU or somewhere else. DD is 3 years (and one week) old and a fussy eater. When at MILs house, MIL consistently forces down "one last mouthful" after my daughter has had enough ... no matter how much dd objects. Today DD even puked up a bit of food along with the "one last mouthful". I am fairly sure she made herself do it as part of making a song and a dance, but I'm now thinking of asking MIL to stop going so far. I'm all for encouraging eating, but not to the extent that she does.

Am I being a bit PFB? I'm not desperate to raise it with MIL as I am still having an ongoing battle with her over sugar free squash (DD gets hyperactive on aspartame etc, but MIL doesn't seem to be able to grasp my request to avoid these).

In terms of drinks, you just tell MIL, this is what she is having. Provide it yourself if you have to.

No I would never, ever do that one last mouthful thing. Everybody, especially a child should learn to eat to their appetite. Food is not a battle ground. My mother does this and the 'eat this or you can't have pudding' thing which I also despise as it's turning food into some kind of odd reward with a dichotomy of good/bad.

Food is a pleasurable, enjoyable experience that I don't impose arbitrary rules upon.

I am v lucky to have a non fussy eater though. I don't know if it would be different if dd (also 3) was otherwise inclined.

Not PFB at all. I hate that "one more spoon" thing and if my mum or MIL try to do it with DS I just say "oh no thanks, he's had plenty" in a light tone.

This is a really bad thing, and no, you're not being PFB.

You need to have a word or step in every time.

Forcing someone to eat when they have had enough is an awful thing to do.

If she full she's full. "one more mouthful" means too many calories. So tell her to stop it!

Not PFB at all. I would be VERY unhappy if someone did that to my child. Very bad thing to do IMO and could cause major problems in the future re overeating & obesity.

I do this to ds1. ONLY because he's sometimes at a point (ASD and ADHD) where his clothes are hanging off his rack thin little bod because HE JUST WON'T SIT AND EAT!!!!

So I give lots of pizza and milk and bananas and peanut butter toast (all calorific finger foods) and then as I return him inexorably to his plate I will trill "A few more bits, please, then you can leave the table (which is what he really wants to do, it's not aboutt he food).

When he's eating enough to maintain his weight, I don't bother. I certainly don't bother for his brother, who is skinny but eats quite big portions.

That's coercion but not forcing, Colditz. I think in an older child it's different, they have a will, it isn't as straightforward as a toddler who feels helpless and is still learning from us.