18 month old will eat nothing but grapes and pear

[thedudesmummy]

Hi, I am getting to the end of my tether with trying to get my 18 month old DS to eat.

He is a tiny one, born 4lb, on or below the third centile all his life so far and he NEEDS to eat. We have changed him over from being just spoon fed purees to eating his own finger food (or any food!) in the last couple of weeks. My DH felt he should not be spoon fed any more at this stage, and he has started a day a week at nursey where they do expect them to pick up their food too.

So...armed with Anabel Karmel and several other books on toddler feeding and finger food...we have offered him many many different things. He chewed on some and spat most out. Cucumbers and baby tomatoes went down quite well, but you can't live on salad! Now he has apparently decided that he will not touch anything except grapes and pear. He can't afford to lose weight, he is just too small. Do I start pushing purees into him again? He was always picky, even with them, but at least you could get SOPMETHING into him. At the moment everything is just ending up on the floor.

PS we did give him finger foods before as well, but just as an adjunct to the main puree meal. And we did progress to lumpy purees, which he would eat (with a lot of patience from us).

Sounds like you've done a fairly dramatic transition - from only purees to only finger food? If so I would take it back a step, offer the purees you used to give, with the option of a variety of finger food. Gradually make the purees lumpier and lumpier until they are more mashed than pureed, and then eventually just sloppy nursery food. Take your childs lead on the finger food, keep offering in a non pressured way and see what he likes.

Have to say, I did all this at about 7-9 months with mine, 18 months is quite old to still be on purees, so it might take you a few months. Don't pressure though, there's no amazing rush so long as you get there in the end. Make sure he's not having too much milk as well, so he is actually hungry for the solids. Seeing his peers eating solids at nursery should help, as they usually want to copy. Good luck, try not to stress about it!

X posts with yours, sorry, my post isn't very helpful then. Could he be off food due to teething? Or too much milk? Could be worth asking your hv for advice if your worried about his weight.

He isn't feeling very well right now, had a tummy upset a couple of days ago. So that may be something to do with it. But he has always been very difficult to get to eat. He has two bottles of milk a day only, one before nap time and one before bed time. They are the only way we can get him to settle for a sleep!

Ds1 was like this. He was on mostly purees until he was almost 2. It drove me mad but it was the only way to get him to eat anything. As it turns out, ds1 has sensory issues which were probably the main cause of him not liking solids. I think you have to keep mixing in lumpy purees to keep his weight up for now.

If he's poorly then that's probably why. You can only go at his pace, so long as he's eating something... Might be worth chatting to the hv at some point though.

Ps, when mine have had tummy bugs, they only want fruit as well (and jelly!). It's fine, something's better than nothing. I know it's rubbish when your carefully prepared food ends up on the floor, and so frustrating, but really try not to let it show, it'll only make matters harder.

Thanks for the advice. It is awfully frustrating when you make all kinds of nice and nutritious stuff and he just won't have it!

For what it's worth also, my 17 month old is a pretty good eater (much less stressful 2nd time around when they just want to be like their older sibling!). But still, she only half feeds herself with a spoon, or finger food, and I either help with loading the spoon or actually spoon feeding her (and a lot still ends up on the floor, apparently that's where it goes when you've finished, silly mummy for not knowing that ). I would think that's pretty normal at this age, so I wouldn't worry too much if you're still spoon feeding, so long as he's got spoons to play with too, so he can pick it up for himself when he's ready.

Also, her appetite has really dropped off in the last few months - breakfast and tea is rarely more than a couple of mouthfuls, but she does eat a good lunch (main hot meal), so I don't worry so much. It's normal for them to eat less after about a year old or so, as their growth rate slows right down apparently. I really feel for you, dd1 was always a bit tricky to feed and it's really hard not to pile the pressure on. Is he at least maintaining the same growth curve?

He was managing to stay just on the third centile (fell off it earlier on when breastfeeding exclusively and I had to supplement with high calorie formula), but I am worried tha the last couple of weeks he has even lost weight, he looks so skinny (although he is very active and busy, no lack of energy!). We may take him for a weigh in the next couple of weeks.

We talked about this last night and have decided to go back to at least some spoon feeding, as he just won't take enough in if left to feed himself with finger foods. I will try the idea of giving him a spoon too, (although a lot will end up on the floor of course, but this would be the same with the finger food anyway, which was ALL ending up on the floor).

Sounds very sensible, must be very stressful for you. Good idea to pop in for another weigh in - they do start to lose the baby fat around now, so hopefully it's just that and the bug he's had. Good luck, keep calm and carry on!