Help! I need facts to convince HV re BLW and Milk etc...

[MoonFaceMama]

Friends DS is 8.5m. FF and BLW though only just getting in to food...hit and miss re actuall eating iyswim. At 8m check HV has said that though he's meeting all hisdevelopmental milestones they need to get him eating more solids. They say she is giving him too much milk.

Friend has had trouble getting milk in to him at times...IMO just not that motivated by food (especially as just started crawling) like some adults I know, though a healthy happy boy.

Friend is worried and doubting herself as now they are sending someone round to observe him eat etc.... I am and as friend is a single parent who's partner sadly diied while she was pg so she's been through a tough time and lacks confidence but is doing a fantastic job and is being made to feel bad by all this.

Can any one help me with sourcing facts to boost her confidence and thatt she can wave at HV if need be? I've tried birth to five but it's all a bit crap vague

Many thanks

When you say they are 'sending' someone round, what does that mean? Doesn't she get a say in it?

My two never had an 8mo check and I didn't bother with the HV after 6 months at all because they were both happy and healthy. Does your friend have concerns about her baby? You say he's happy and healthy just wondering why the HV is involved at all. As far as I am aware they are there for advice if your friend wants it but her choices are not something she needs HV approval of.

I think she's on their radar as needing support cause of her personal circumstances and pnd, initial bonding issues etc. I think she feels that if she were to refuse or dispute they would suspect something, like that she wasn't coping and wanted to hide it, or something.

Also she is a little worried about his eating though also realises it's within normal parameters. Tbh i feel hv's should be saying it's ok and reassuring her, where as they are actually causing her to worry. Have heard on here that calories at this age should mostly come from milk rather than solids so wondering where this comes from...

I've had very little to do with hv's myself flowery! I think my friend is a little lacking in confidence about her abilities though and would like to be able to point her in the direction of some info that would help her (and an hv) see that her ds is fine.

BLW weaning is fine - I used it myself with DS who is now 7 and fit as anything.

Having PND is totally different from weaning and I cannot understand why her HV is making her worry. If he was fine at his eight month check then she can just go with the flow and see what her DS wants to do. Weaning calories often come largely from milk and it's only when babies are taking in a greater number of calories from solid food that they will drop the milk feeds. Your friend could show her the many very healthy babies in parts of the world who feed for well over a year and look very healthy.

Yes - she should be boosting your DF confidence - NOT making her doubt her abilities as a Mum. I am so frustrated by some HVs - why don't they support mothers instead of making them feel worse?

Thanks heftynorks (love the name!) That is what I was thnking. The HV seems to think thatt they shouuld take away milk feeds to encourage him to eat solids. Though there have been worries re his weight previously (again unfounded and made worse by HV's imo...he didn't even cross a centile iirc) and now he's in to crawling friend feels her ds might be happy to just go without in order to crawl more lol!

It's such a shame that she is doing a really good job and imo shoul be told "very good, carry on" rather than having problems invented where there are none! Surely HV's have enouughto do! (well actually clearly yes, that's whay they are sending a nursery nurse from the childrens centre round to do the observation )

This makes me so angry. Of course the HV should be supportive and not inventing problems where none exist!

So the HV says he is meeting all his milestones, his weight has stayed within the same centile lines... wonder what basis she has for saying you "need to get him eating more solids"? Did she explain where her concerns are coming from? Or was it just a BLW red flashing light?

Have you tried this forum?

www.babyledweaning.com/forum/index.php

Will have a look at the forum than you RJandA!

No, they haven't really said what the "problem" with his eating is, though my friend is planning on asking...they are acting like he'll still be on milk at 18!!

Your friend should ask the HV to give her some facts about why this is supposedly a problem. Poor woman, she doesn't need this sort of nonsense. For what it's worth, DS didn't take much by way of solids until he was around 9 months when we were doing BLW, and when I spoke to others on here that seemed to be common. So things could all change very soon.

I couldn't agree more tdd! It probably doesn't help that my ds, 8m, has been putting food away since the get go (like mother, like baby ) but i had heard on here that not really eating much was quite common for the first few months and she had been reassured by this, untill now! Grr.

MFM, I've got a fantastic book called the Wonder Weeks which is by two academics working in psychology / biology / anthropology. They discovered, first with animals, then humans, different stages of development and 'difficult age-linked regression periods' associated with developmental leaps.

The book details the predictable developmental spurts up to 13 months and explains what's going on in each, and how it can affect babies.

Under the week 37 spurt (which I'm guessing may be the one causing your friend the problems), there is a section called 'She may lose her appetite':

"Many babies seem less interested in food and drink at this time. Some seem to have no appetite and may dig in their heels and refuse some meals altogether. Others will only eat what they put into their mouths themselves. Others still are picky, spill things and spit things out.

"If you have a fussy eater, she may also be unmanageable during meals, not wanting to eat when her food is there and wanting it as soon as it has been taken away. Or she may demand a lot of food one day and refuse to eat the next. Every variety is possible."

The book is here and you can find more info by following some of the links here.

Oops, I realised they're not academics - they're scientific researchers. I think I got confused as I was reading about their PhD research.

(Not that it matters, but I don't like to give out wrong information! :))

Thanks angeldog! That is really useful. You are a star.

No, just obsessed with developmental spurts!