please help me make a sensible plan - am really not in the right place to wean & i need to be

[AisieSusie]

A bit of a hybrid topic post I'm afraid, I am trying to wean my ds who is 6 months old, and I am finding it really difficult to know how to go about it, as I am all over the place emotionally.

[my dh has just left me, I have really bad spd and find just getting up painful, let alone buying ingredients & preparing meals etc and have very little money]

I do need to make a good start this month, as I go back to work next month and want to do as much as possible myself, and then leave foolproof instructions/ appropriate food, rather than still experimenting.

I really wanted to do BLW, and I know its supposed to be the easiest way to wean, but am finding it really hard. I am not eating healthily myself I suppose, so am worried about giving my ds stuff off my plate, but the idea of cooking separate meals for him & me would be too much for me to do.

I started off with this & he's eaten / played with nectarines, melon, yoghurt, porridge, banana, but have totally ground to a halt.

I am eating things like marmite sandwiches, bought soups & bread for lunch, or humus & pitta, or scrambled eggs [or more likely a big bar of chocolate & nothing else actually] and for dinner I rely on ready sauces like indian for tonight, as it hurts to stand, and now there's only one of me I can't leave ds to cook anything proper...

Am starting to look at the packaged baby purees and wondering if I should just go for them instead, and make life easier... but then they are going to be really expensive and I don't like the idea of just giving him processed prepared food.

so what shall I do?

A. give up and buy the purees and have done with it
B. find separate bits & bobs for ds to eat to kick off blw - but what? and how to do without cooking twice at each meal?
C. change my diet so he can eat exactly what I have, but then how do I do this? feel defeated at the whole idea and want to bury my head in the sand

So what do I do? I want to make food fun and i feel like its becoming this awful ordeal for me, and scared I'll pass it on to ds

C. It's not hard or particularly time consuming preparing & cooking healthy meals, you just need a good list of what to cook. You can prepare veg etc sitting down so as not to affect your SPD, too.

Meal ideas:

spaghetti bolognese - chop onion & mushrooms (sat down), throw into big pan with a knob of butter and a couple of cloves of crushed garlic.. fry on low heat until onions are softened, add mince until brown, empty in tin of tomatoes and big squirts of tomato puree. Add mixed herbs (I buy dry packet). Leave to simmer for 45 mins stirring occasionally. Add chopped fresh basil before serving (v. easy to grow on the windowsill)

stir fry - chop mixed veg into slivers (sat down) fry on heat with splash of olive oil whilst boiling dried egg noodles. After few minutes add noodles and fry for another min. Serve plain to baby and with splash of soy sauce for mum.

cauliflower cheese - par boil small florets of cauliflower, drain and leave to one side. Make cheese sauce by melting tablespoon of butter, mix in tablespoon of plain flour, whisk in about half a pint of milk (I never use exact measurements) and a good large handful of decent cheddar. Whisk together for couple of minutes over low heat until it starts to thicken then add to cauliflower in heatproof dish and put in the oven for 20 mins with cheese on top.

corned beef hash - make mash as per normal, mix in chopped corned beef (you can get low salt varieties) and put in heatproof dish in oven with cheese on top.

shepherds pie - make mince mix as above for spaghetti bolognese but instead of adding tomatoes and puree, add more veg (carrot chopped small, peas etc) and then make up small amount of low salt gravy. Add to heatproof dish, top with mash n cheese, in oven for 30+ minutes.

See what I'm getting at? Lots of wholesome food with low prep times that you just bung in a pan or in the oven and the rest do themselves. I'm no Delia Smith but it's not that hard :)

I think it probably just needs a bit of planning and then when you do cook, cook large quantities and freeze portions so you don't have to do it that often. And if you have friends/family that can come round and help keep an eye on ds while you cook that might also help.

My fallback dinners for ds are half a small tin of alphabetti spaghetti (for the size) or baked beans, with some peas and a couple of fish fingers - very quick and doesn't involve standing and stirring particularly. Also I make a large amout of cheese sauce (as for the cauliflower cheese recipe above) and tomato sauce (chop and fry red onion, add garlic, mixed herbs and tinned tomatoes and splash of balsamic vinegar, simmer 10 minutes then puree) to freeze in weaning cubes so all I have to do is cook pasta (usually macaroni for the size), drain it, throw the sauce into the pan to heat it through, mix with the pasta and voila - one pasta dish. Risottos that just go in the oven for an hour are good too as the sticky rice is easy to pick up (and really good comfort food too). Also good is cheese on toast, philadelphia/houmous sandwiches or on pitta etc, and scrambled egg on toast, or baked potato with cheese or beans in.

Fruit fingers is a good call for snacks/puddings, as are dried fruits as they last longer. You can also buy frozen fruit - good added to yoghurt - and veg.

In the end, you need to do what works for you. My DS has a smaller version of my sandwich for lunch (often cheese, ham or houmous as I'm fairly unimaginative!) and baby crisps to stop him stealing mine. I don't think buying purees will necessarily help your situation, but with just a little planning you could do BLW.

Hope that helps.

great practical suggestions here

just wanted to add - remember " food is just fun until they are one" - most of your baby's calories will still come from formula / breast milk for a long time. most babies this age dont actually EAT a lot - they play with it and rub it into their hair etc, so try not to worry too much

and don't even THINK of cooking two seperate meals - its a waste of time and you will just get upset when baby has a bad day and tips it all on the floor. he will be just as happy with some fruit/veg and cheese etc

do you have atopic disease in your family ? In other words , do you need to avoid things like eggs and wheat for a few more months?

is your baby going to a childminder or nursery when you go back to work?

Why don't you do a mixed approach for now and see how you get on. So you could plan for him to eat one bought puree per day, and the rest of the time do finger foods that you also eat. That way there is perhaps less pressure for you to always eat healthily, but your ds is getting the fun of blw. Just a thought, and I'd definitely stress the idea that food is for fun until they're one.

Have you got any other help around? Anyone to talk to?

thanks for the ideas.

lots more questions though:

• and can he eat cheese yet? is 6 months old enough?
• babybouncer does cheese sauce freeze ok? i thought it would go lumpy?

• no, no allergies KristinaM, does that mean i can get him started on eggs/ bread? husband is supposed to be looking after him when i go back to work, but wont be in the slightest bit proactive about food, so i'll have to get all the food ready for him everyday

cies mixed approach sounds more do-able. will need to batch cook, don't really have any close friends/ family to help, i guess i have to try & cook when ds is asleep, which is currently 11pm...

jem, thanks for all the recipe ideas, they do seem do-able, not so scary. i think part of the problem is that i am a veggie trying not to be, & have to gt used to cooking meat again...

Yep - cheese sauce freezes fine. As long as there are no allergies in the family they can eat anything from 6 months except undercooked eggs, honey and nuts. Bread is fine - even granary with all the seeds, and you just need to make sure that eggs are fully cooked.

If husband is looking after him during the day, could you give him a list of lunch/snack options so you don't actually have to make that food? If he's getting himself lunch anyway, it shouldn't be too much extra effort to do some for ds? Just an idea.

Well, in the spag bog and shepherds pie recipes you can replace the mince for lentils or w/e to make them veggie friendly :)

Good luck.