My 15 year old son wants to play video-games more. Should I let him?

[JustAnotherParentHere]

I have a 15 yea old son with a PC which he mainly does school work on.

However, on weekends, he is sometimes allowed to play video-games on it. This includes 'Fortnite', 'Fall Guys' and some other games with his friends.

He is a very high achiever at school, so revision and homework aren't an issue, as he mainly gets Grade 9s in tests / GCSE Mocks.

However I am worried about computers, and playing games with his school friends.

What are your kid's rules regarding gaming? Is it only for the weekend? Should he play whenever he has done enough jobs / work?

Any help is appreciated, thanks.

Yeah, let him play video games. Especially if he is a high achiever, it’s great for turning off your mind from academic work. If he was playing games and it interfered with school or social life, then that would be a worry.

I think video games are unfairly maligned. Social media app obsession, online dangers, anxiety, getting into the wrong crowd etc are all more worrisome at this age. My DS played loads of video games, I had to set up ‘rules’ around times as they did overtake the day sometimes. And I just cut off the internet at certain times, all upfront beforehand rather than ‘punishment’, it helps me regulate myself also. He’s turned out to be a highly social young man, full of enthusiasm for life and doing well.

Get involved a bit in what he plays, show an interest is very useful. Then you can monitor it and get an insight.

My DS achieved all A at A level and achieved apart from one subject all top grades at GCSE. He was allowed to game after school for 2 hours till dinner then it was homework and once a week football training. But we lived 5 mins walk from his High school which was a very good decision. I had to walk 2 miles to school and DH had to commute by train for over an hour each way in to London.

Wow that's good to know. I'm sure my son would be delighted to hear this, but I'm still not sure, as he seems to always want to game / relax, especially on weekends and after-school.

I'll discuss this with my SO

If he always wants to game or relax, yet is achieving really good grades and seems happy socially, emotionally and physically, then that sounds like he should really need that balance of wanting to game or relax!

He does need some downtime from studying? Does he currently get to have some time to relax (not gaming) on weeknights?

Perhaps a good balance would be that he could spend more time gaming but you'd also like him to develop another hobby as well e.g. sport, an instrument etc?

What kind of "jobs/work" are you expecting from a 15yo?

My son plays the trumpet, but I don't think he practices enough (a few times a week), especially since I am paying for his lessons.

He also does lots of sport, like tennis, life-guarding/swimming, and football, but he doesn't do as many hobbies as he used to.

He gets paid £5 a week to do some of the household chores like dishes, putting clothes away, and hoovering / mopping floors.

He also gets £5 a week to learn Mandarin by himself. This may not seem like much but he often gets money from us for Christmas / birthday, and in the summer, he has pressure-washed / mown lawns for my friends, and been paid.

On weeknights, he spends time on his computer doing work and revision, and after dinner he will occasionally watch TV with his father for 30 minutes - 1 hour. He is rarely allowed to game on weekdays, with exceptions.

Hi, I would let him game a bit more. It helps them relax and is often very sociable if they play online with friends. I also have the logic that once they go to uni or leave home they will be able to game as much as they like. I think it's good for them to learn to regulate their gaming themselves while they are still at home. If they do then they will be able to do it once they leave home. You can help with the self regulating at first with reminders, turning off the internet etc, but eventually they (hopefully ) learn to do it themselves.

Gaming is not a bad thing. Excessive gaming which negatively impacts your life is a bad thing.

My son (16) is a gamer most nights. He still manages to study for his exams, play football, do his chores. It's a way of de-stressing, connecting with friends (I hear them all in fits of laughter), using their brains in a different way.

One of the best teachers at his school is a massive gamer - she always tells the kids that work comes first, then gaming. She's a brilliant woman who gets great results from the kids and I'm sure she's not the only gamer who also teaches.

My son is 15 and also gets good marks on his GCSE mocks. I let him play video games on the weekend as long as he has done all of his homework and has kept his marks up. Hope that helps ;)