Son gaming addiction need advice

11 replies

Sarahsmith2783 · 09/04/2023 23:13

My 12 year old son has a very bad gaming addiction and I need advice. My son is always on a screen and it is hard to get him off to eat dinner and socialise. I’ve tried putting screen limits on his devices but he always finds a work around or the password to change the screen time. I’ve also tried taking his devices but he always manages to sneak his phone or use his sisters stuff.It seems that every effort is pointless and I need advice.

OP posts:

GrazingSheep · 09/04/2023 23:15

Remove every device.

Sittwritt · 09/04/2023 23:16

Yep devices a privilege not a right. He does not behave he gets privilege taken away. Switch off Wi-Fi for good measure too.

GrazingSheep · 09/04/2023 23:16

Gaming addiction is a recognised mental health issue and you need to be proactive in helping your child.

Artios · 09/04/2023 23:36

My DS 14 is very into gaming, and recently his behaviour became quite difficult and he wouldn’t come off when asked to for dinner or homework etc so we took all screens away for 5 days. Put it all away in a cupboard, phone included. Told him if his behaviour improved he could get it back on the 6th day. He actually admitted that his head felt ‘clearer’ without it all. He now knows there are consequences to his behaviour, and screens are a privilege, not a right.

Gaming is great fun, and a way for him to socialise, so I don’t want to ban it altogether, but their brains are too young to be able to self-regulate gaming, so we have to do that for them.

How does your DS ‘sneak his phone’ if you have taken it away?

Your efforts aren’t pointless, but you need to be thorough and consistent.
It’s quite difficult limiting screen time, and makes you a very unpopular parent, but at the of the day you are his parent and just doing your job. Better to get the boundaries set down now while he is young because by the time he’s a big teenager it will be too late.

Artios · 09/04/2023 23:40

I think in your position I would explain that you are setting screen time limits for his own good, it’s your decision and he has to follow it. If he ‘gets around’ them by guessing passwords etc then he is deliberately flouting your rules and there will be a bigger consequence e.g. screens get removed altogether. Lock them away somewhere if necessary.

caringcarer · 10/04/2023 01:02

You need to be firmer. Choose passwords he won't guess. For example M0unta1n. That is just Mountain with o swapped for a 0 and the i swapped for a 1. See if he can guess that one OP. If you choose easy passwords with a meaning for you it is easy for him to guess. Make sure you are the only administrator. Set up so he can have 3 hours at weekend days and 1 1/2 hours during the week. Tell him he can lose those if homework not done, chores eg bedroom tidy and good behaviour at home. If he kicks off cut gaming altogether for 3 days then offer him to earn it back. Tell DD if she allows D's on her gaming devise she loses hers too. Limit DD to similar time.

JupiterFortified · 10/04/2023 01:14

Just take the devices away. Simple as that. How can he sneak his phone if you have it?

Puppytrashedmysofa · 10/04/2023 07:08

I'm not sure this will help but hey ho.We've been off the Internet for several days because of a house move.My son is nineteen and is not able to use gaming to full effect ,can only play solo at the moment.
He came in yesterday evening, said he was bored and started doing the washing up.I suggested Monopoly which he really enjoyed. He suggested we play every evening which of course I being inconsistent won't be able to manage.But I'm going to make the effort to play a couple of times a week hopefully to get him off gaming occasionally.

Original poster

Sarahsmith2783 · 10/04/2023 09:41

I’ll try a few and see if they work and have a chat with my son.

OP posts:

ILiveInSalemsLot · 10/04/2023 09:45

I'd remove every device too. Have a chat with him and explain why you're doing it.
Stay strong and help him to find other things to do and go out.
You'll see some amazing changes and it's easier to do this now at 12 than when he's 15 and approaching GCSEs.

2reefsin30knots · 10/04/2023 09:51

Get a lockable box and put his phone and the power cable to his computer in it when you don't want him to have them. There are boxes with holes in so the phone can be on charge but not accessible.

My 12yo DS recently earned himself a total screen ban for lying. I took the power cable for his computer and phone to my work and left them there.

This will only get better if you get tough though OP. Expect to ride out tantrums and vile behaviour.

Flip