I've always tried to give my 3 children a wholesome upbringing. We take them on nice holidays, we also do center parcs and glamping weekends. Sons have football lessons, music lessons, eldest plays golf, daughter ballet. We live in a nice area, near forest and they attend lovely local primary. I'm not especially pushy academically, but they do well enough at school. They can - at times - be very well behaved. I'm just trying to set the scene...
However, my eldest son (8yo) has had a Switch for nearly 2 years. He was given mario games etc. At somepoint HE downloaded fortnite himself as it's free and evidently easy to do. One year on he has headphones, and about 4 of his friends play and chat together. I fluctuate between thinking it's quite sweet hearing them chat away, and feeling frustrated when he has a meltdown when I remove it. My second son plays also, chatting more to his brother's friends when he plays. He does have meltdowns over it also, but somehow I feel the eldest is a bit worse.
Perhaps it depends on personality type. My eldest's friends I'd say are a little more confident, they LIKE bike rides and football whereas mine has to be asked/ made to do stuff like that. He is quite sensitive but sociable and I'd say, goes with the flow of his friends. I can see he could be susceptible to peer pressure. He gets self-conscious easily. I cannot even tell you what a sweet good natured toddler he was, and indeed often really he still is that boy.
This morning I walked all 3 to school and they moaned and complained and wined and I looked at other kids and thought "why do mine behave like this". We give them a nice life, they are very fortunate (I know they can't really have any comprehension of this). I'm kind and do my best to feed them a balanced diet. They are all very close in age so it's quite hard as any parent knows, with 3 little personalities in one house all trying to fight their corners, often at once.
I'm feeling really down about it and any advice about how to install discipline, order and structure would be appreciated. How to make them sit and enjoy lego and other things. Do I just remove Fortnite completely, and will they get over it in a few weeks if I do or will they just feel left out from their friends. Yes they do karate, swimming, football etc etc etc but the boys (eldest esp) seems to only like fortnite. He won't read a book which I find really frustrating. He does like art and used to like lego.
Is there anyone out there that has found a good balance?:
Should I say ONLY weekends 2 hours per day or something?
One of my friends ONLY lets her kids watch educational TV BBC programmes. No gaming, no Netflix etc etc. She is strict in that respect, but the kids know the deal and get on with it.... is this the answer? My parents were v v strict growing up so I guess that isn't something I wanted to replicate. But I liked reading, I liked art and we didn't have fortnite back then!...
I'm worried I'd allowing my kids to have addictive personalities and problems later in life.
Last night I deleted You Tube off TV. This morning they'd put it back on. I get cross etc. but really what is the answer? Punishment/ consequences or talk to them etc (this doesn't seem to work??).
I keep thinking I need to play with them more; cook with them, bake with them, do art and board games with them but of course it is EXHAUSTING! I also work and it's a constant juggle.
I'm a bit lost over it. Any advice appreciated.