Which console for a soon to be 7 year old on the spectrum?

[ElspethFlashman]

I mention on the spectrum because we're aware any console may exacerbate his hyperfocus tendencies and may become addicting. He has Adhd.

It's the reason he's never ever had any tablet of any description, his behaviour was too challenging up to now and it would exacerbate it. Up to now even turning off the TV would lead to meltdowns.

But he has improved a LOT this past year, he would very much enjoy it, it may give him some much needed "shutting out the world" downtime and all his friends are banging on about Mario so we're just being realistic that we can't put it off forever.

I'm however wary of the Switch. I think the portability would work against us and we would have a lot of rows about him using it 24/7 in his bedroom, in the car etc.

But I realise that it's the most kid friendly one so am I being silly about my concerns?

Or does it lead to rows about screen time in a way a PS4/5 doesn't?

We are not gamers so are a bit blind and don't want to get this wrong!

I would favour a less portable option like PS4 or Xbox. Easier for you to control. He is likely to absolutely adore gaming, so make sure you have your very firm ground rules set in advance.

If he wants to play Mario it will have to be a Nintendo console as the Mario games don't work on any others.

The switch like other modern consoles has the ability to set parental controls and it's also really helpful to simply set boundaries around where and when it can be used. This works well for my adhd 12yo. He can use it in the house but not take it out of the house except for when we do really long drives somewhere. He can have it in his bedroom but if a friend is over and they both want to play, we put it on the main TV and they play there. Yes we do get moaning etc but the consequence is easy - if you don't respect the rules of the switch you lose access.

With the parental control app, it's easy to see what he's been doing on it and for he long. You can also instantly lock it remotely if you need to.

ADHD is not 'on the spectrum'

If he wants to play Mario. The switch is not the only Nintendo option, there's the Wii and the wiiU.. Personally I dont bow to the sacred alter of the switch. It's fragile and the game cartridges are tiny at 50 quid a pop.

I have also talked to him about how games are designed specifically to be addictive and that he will be more susceptible to it because of his age and because of his adhd. I have ADHD as well, so managing your own limitations is a common conversation in our house

Be prepared for him to ask for money to buy virtual currency in games to buy add ons. At first our rule was a blanket no to this. As he's got older, I've relented a bit bit there is a limit on how much he can spend on this kind of thing. And we've had to have conversations about what is reasonable to spend on something which isn't even tangible - he's wanted to just gift his friends random €20 objects etc which is so much for someone his age, but he has no sense of the scale of that. That's been part of another discussion about finances. I personally think sometimes his friend are a bit more socially ahead of him in development and take advantage - we had similar with trading cards when he was younger. He has this lovely kind generous wanting to share streak but I worry he gets taken advantage of!

So just another angle to be aware of if you are not experienced with games.

You could get an old secondhand Nintendo Wii as a starter. It can only be used on the telly - not handheld. Has loads of child friendly and family games including Mario.
They don't make them any more so you can only buy secondhand. CEX sells them or you might be able to get one from a local Facebook selling group. I paid £20 in a charity shop for our console and the games can be bought for a little as £1.

Also the Wii doesn't need any link to the internet so you can't get extras 'accidently' being purchased or any chat with strangers. It's essentially plug into the telly and go.

Thanks so much this is really helpful.

Any pros /cons to the PS4?

His friends seem to play some sort of Mario and Roblox.

He is very immature for his age and definitely some of his friends are far more sophisticated than he is. He has a lot of repetitive behaviours and finds it incredibly hard to stop doing something that he's interested in, so he has to be managed carefully. He'd be OK if the console was shutting down itself as he understands machines shut down, but not if I was the one saying Times Up. That would lead to a lot of distress/panic attacks etc and you can't have that 365 days a year so definitely want the platform to have some auto shutdown option if possible.

PS4 is not current generation any more, it's the one behind. That's not necessarily bad particularly for his age group.

You can't get Mario on the Playstation. Not sure about Roblox. TBH we totally banned Roblox - DH was suspicious of it (works in game industry) because basically it's a massive uncontrolled sandbox (people can create whatever they like and release for others to play). That means you get a load of really crap low-quality content. There are benefits from gaming, but Roblox is quite low in benefit IME. A lot of the games are also set up to be incredibly addictive. DH was concerned about copyright infringement, which I think is a bit of a non-issue - people playing the copyright-infringing game would probably not be in legal trouble! I've heard horror stories of explicit or inappropriate material being included in games, because it's all user created. I doubt this is common, because it's so popular with primary kids, and it wouldn't be if that kind of stuff was obviously all over the place, but it worried me enough and in conjunction with the utterly mindless nature of a lot of the games and DH's objections it was enough just to say no on that one.

We do allow Fortnite which is sometimes put in the same category as Roblox, but we find it better.

The games are either download or disc, the discs can get scratched whereas the Switch cartridges are really robust (but can get lost easily due to their size).

Have you thought about looking at an actual PC rather than a console? If he is interested in gaming it can be a way to get into coding which is a really cool and useful skill to have.

PS4 you can also set up parental controls/time limits but you can't control them remotely unlike for the Switch. For the Switch the time limiting works really well - it flashes up a warning when there's 30 mins / 15 mins / 10 / 5 / 2 / 1 min to go and then it locks itself.

If he wants or needs more time you can extend it from the app - DS1 often asks for leftover Switch time to be added to his phone time or vice versa, now that he has both.

Thanks so much, I understand what you mean about Roblox, would Minecraft have the same concerns? I know you can set the level of it to exclude zombies etc but I understand what you mean about the open ended nature of these types of games being addictive.

And that's a good point I hadn't thought of before! Maybe best to keep it to mini games with a definite end point!

Coding would be something we could look at when he's older but I think he's not at that stage yet. He has never been on a computer in his entire life! So it would be very young stuff first, like racing games with very simple challenges, or very simple platform stuff.

I think he'd love Super Mario where you just had to find a simple route through but it was very fast. And you got to splat things that look like wee poos, lol.

Leaning more towards Switch now as it seems more self contained and easy? And maybe upgrade after a few years to download platforms. He definitely doesn't need to speak to his friends via a console at this age for example so some of that capability is redundant right now.

Just have to figure out rules. And regular Switch or Lite. Not sure which would lead to less rows.

No, Minecraft is totally different to Roblox - Minecraft you're in your own little world and everything that appears in that world has been put there by the game developers. Whereas Roblox can have multitudes of worlds and most of them are created by players themselves, so the content is hugely variable.

Of course you can also play Minecraft online, but it works very well as an offline, single-player game.

The Switch Lite does not connect to a TV, it's only handheld. Whereas the original has the option to be both. We quite like playing some games (Mario Kart, Mario Party for example) as a family so being able to have it on the TV is nice so you're not all crowding round a miniscule screen. It helps to set up expectations and model healthy behaviour around games as well.

We manage this by having clear times when gaming is allowed. For us it’s half an hour after supper and all school reading is done.

DH is a gamer but if he weren’t then I would have learned to play the games with DSs (many of them are better as 2-player) and seen it as social time with them. They much prefer playing with DH than playing on their own and it means we are very much in control of what they’re doing and seeing. I don’t encourage it at all when friends are round (they’re 8 and 5 and have lots of other options) although I accept this may change. There is also no internet use except downstairs unless agreed for very specific use (eg during lockdown DS1 was using it in his room for DuoLingo).

DS1 is not quite 7 but Mario mad. We have a Switch and he loves it- but he doesn’t actually know that it can be handheld. We only ever use it through the TV.

Don’t know how long my skullduggery will last though, as I’m assuming friends will alert him. Even still, I think we will just say NO to portable use.

I am going to make a slightly left of field suggestion, which is to see if you can foster an interest in retro games with your DS

Consoles like the game boy advance or the SNES, from ‘back in the day’ before in game purchases or online multiplayer, when games were built for storytelling and fun rather than just a shiny gloss over a slot machine program.

Admittedly older consoles don’t have parental controls, but myself and every other gamer I know who grew up on these sorts of games learned self regulation (including those of us who were on the spectrum as well as on the Spectrum )

You've just jogged my memory.

I actually have an ancient Nintendo DS lite. I never threw it out, god knows why.

Honestly I'd forgotten about it.

I have the charger and everything. No games with it anymore but I'm sure those are still around somewhere.

Should I just give him that instead??

Problem is of course he would have to self Regulate......

My 7 year old with asd love the switch. He mainly plays minecraft, it is set up so he cannot buy anything and it locks overnight. The parental controls are much easier on the switch than the PS4. He also loves my 3ds, again mainly plays minecraft or mariokart. My 8 year old, also asd, prefers the wii u. It's much more interactive, she plays games like Mario party and wii u fit, where you actually have to move to play the game.

@ElspethFlashman absolutely! The DS lite plays the game boy advance cartridges which iirc includes loads of mario titles, donkey Kong, sonic advance, tony hawks pro skater 2 (which has just been remastered for PS4 it’s so enduringly good), Pokemon firered/leaf green (the GBA remakes of the originals). All brilliant games —that would knock the socks off fortnite—
There’s tons of cartridges on eBay for a few £.

In terms of helping him self regulate, perhaps the charging cable could live in your room only, or as you said he is not good if you are telling him when to stop a countdown timer that you set together at the start of ‘screen time’ could be helpful.

Gosh so many choices!

Off to research!

Really appreciate all this feedback.

The bonus I suppose is if your DS can’t manage the game boy at the moment and it needs to ‘break’ and go back in the drawer for a few years, you’ve not shelled out hundreds on a Switch to discover the same thing!

Oh yeah DS Lite is a solid choice, especially if you already have one.

You can always keep hold of the charger - that way he can only play it for as long as the battery lasts, which won't be endless.

You can indeed buy DS games everywhere - it won't be able to play the 3DS games but the normal DS games and GBA (game boy advance) work on it. Places like Cex/Game probably have them pre-owned or you can look at ebay or ask on FB marketplace. Car boots (when they are allowed again) are great for picking up those games as well. And they tend to be before the switch to making games addictive on purpose.

Mine have Switches - they have set times they're NOT allowed them and they've never really argued with that (the youngest does hyper focus and we're waiting for an ASD assessment). I'd rather they were on that than fucking Roblox which they have on iPad but heavily time limited and locked down.