To just feel frustrated at the disconnect

[CanISeeYourLicence]

I just feel so annoyed with people (aka my mother) who claim to be animal lovers but can't take reality.

I was having morning coffee with my mother (online. as we are in different parts of the world) she was talking about the rescue dog she is about to collect. I said as an aside that I had this morning donated to a charity that is trying to save pets caught up in war (specifically Dubai). She started shouting at me and pout her hands over her ears and shouted 'I don't want to hear that, don't tell me that/. it's too upsetting'.

Last time she came to stay we had a collared dove caught in our chimney and I got a chimney sweep out who managed to remove the bird gently and without harm. At the time my mother had to go to another room because it was so upsetting to her and she wailed and cried because she could not cope with the idea of a bird being caught (and rescued) in our chimney.

She claims she is an animal lover. Before DS1 was born 15 years ago she also told me she would report me to social services if I dared to stay a vegetarian while pregnant. She actually said to me she would report me.

It's not a her issue (although it is my mother who has annoyed me today) but I simply cannot comprehend people who have the disconnect about some animals and how we use them for our own ends and not all.

Rant over.

It only takes a modicum of research to get this:

plant-based diets (in pregnancy) are at risk of nutritional deficiencies such as proteins, iron, vitamin D, calcium, iodine, omega-3, and vitamin B12

and this:

A design of pregestational nutrition intervention is required in order to avoid maternal undernutrition and consequent impaired fetal growth.

What steps did you take @CanISeeYourLicence to ensure you got the key nutrients (particularly B vitamins) your baby needed?

I think you and your mum have very similar personalities

I mean, you could say there is a ‘disconnect’ with you donating to abandoned dogs in (wealthy, terrible-on-human-rights) Dubai, when humans, including children,are murdered in war every day…

Does your mum generally avoid upsetting triggers? I have to avoid certain TV series and books, because if something really unpleasant happens it’s gets in my head and repeats on loop. It can affect my mood for weeks. I’m not as dramatic as your mum, but people in my immediate family know about my aversion and occasionally need reminding. It’s been suggested to me that it may be a type of OCD (intrusive thoughts or something?) but have never really looked into it.

The instances you used about the dogs being abandoned in Dubai and the bird that was stuck in your chimney, your mum found it too upsetting, that's why she told you to stop mentioning it / went in another room. Not because she didn't care about it.

Im a very sensitive person and if I read something online by accident to do with animal cruelty or abuse, it upsets me so much it can stop me eating and sleeping. So I understand your mum.

She cared about you eating properly during pregnancy. That's not unusual, she was too worried about You. (You)
Just cos she's not vegetarian it sounds like she's very caring for animals 👍and you 👍

I agree in general about the disconnect.

I have had numerous friends who love their pets but hunted foxes, shot badgers as well as of course eating meat.

Another friend keeps two sheep as pets but cheerfully rounds up others to take them to the abattoir.

Compartmentalisation I suppose.

I don’t talk about my views unless asked. It would do no good anyway. People either come to their own realisation or they don’t.

There are many things in life I consider morally wrong but I would have a very small social circle if I excluded everybody who disagrees with me.

She's bonkers

@GloiredeDijon genuine question here , but how can you stay friends with some of them who enjoy shooting badgers or hunting ?
im not being goady as I am genuinely interested to know?
inwas set up on a date with someone who seemed really nice but found out he was a gamekeeper so never bothered , it just wouldn’t work with me

I couldn't have a relationship with someone whose views were so divergent from mine so I feel the same as you on that front.

I couldn't be in love with someone who ate meat, or shot animals, or was a farmer etc.

However, with friendships there can be differing levels and personally I have a range of friends who I can speak to about some things but not others. We come together about the things we have in common and agree to disagree about the things on which we differ. We respect each other's boundaries.

As I said in my earlier post, if I only spoke to like minded people I would be extremely isolated, all the more so because in rural areas such as where I live my life view is definitely a minority.

We have to agree to disagree because this is how life works.