I can't believe I did this! Vegan topic

[Ruminate2much]

I've been a vegan for several years. Vegetarian many years before that.
In that time, I've had the odd lapse - but always accidental.
This evening I was having dinner with an old lady who lives nearby. I did shopping for her when she wasn't well, and she wanted to thank me. She'd gone to the effort of making a vegetable pie. Very kind. She's a meat eater. I asked her what was in it, and it turned out butter in the pastry! She obviously didn't understand. Then turns out a bit of Lee and Perrins Worcester sauce in with the veg. That's not even vegetarian, as it contains anchovies. It was out of the oven, plate in hand, I didn't know what to do other than eat some. I took a small portion, piling my plate up more with spuds etc.
I simply didn't have the heart not to. She'd gone to the trouble of making it. But I feel pretty yucky now. I'd have felt guilty if I hadn't though, so it's difficult. Obviously, we're so incredibly privileged in the western world to have choices like this. So I won't dwell on it. I never buy animal products. But, out of curiosity, what would you have done? I have a tummy ache now too, as my body can't take dairy anymore...

Thank you so much for this. Really useful 😊
Funnily enough, I read your post just after suggesting a cuppa next time. Great minds think alike!
Yes, I'm trying to fix it.
Guilt and regret are my greatest sources of suffering I think. I find it really hard to let things go; and I persecute myself. I agonise over past things - find a solution, only to remember I can't go back in time.
Anyway, I'll heed your very helpful advice x

Move on, it's happened now, no biggy. I remember those tummy aches! Years before I went full time vegan I did it for three weeks first as a test and then had a milky iced coffee....oh my godddddd body said no lol

I would have eaten it but mentioned butter usually makes me ill

I wouldn't have eaten it or agreed to eat if they didn't know about the vegan diet thing. It was kind of you but perhaps not kind to yourself.

All of my friends who are vegan would have eaten it but maybe left the pastry (if they felt they could without being too rude). But they also have pets so they aren’t that rigid. I think you should just do your best and not worry too much.

Yes, I will definitely be clearer with people about that aspect of it in future

Come to think of it, I wonder what she thinks veganism is? Maybe just another word for vegetarianism?

“bless the well-intentioned lady who poisoned me”😆 lol at least you can laugh about it.

I think veganism is quite confusing for some people. More so with regards to dairy, things like eggs.

Hope you feel much better today by the way!

I don’t understand this line of reasoning- surely then the logical conclusion would be that vegans could always eat animal products which had already been prepared so the food didn’t get wasted! Which doesn’t make any sense to me

I’m veggie, I don’t have any intolerances but if I know somebody’s really tried to accommodate me & just used the wrong cheese or something, I do usually close my eyes to it & eat it anyway. That’s as a one-off though, I’m not sure how I’d handle it long term.

Could the tummy ache be to do with eating while very stressed about the food? I get awful stomach cramps if I’m somewhere that makes me stressed. If you can relax about it , it may well subside. (alcohol helps me with the spasms)

I find that hard to believe. I know a lot of vegans and very few, if any, would take that attitude, and the militant types would be even less likely to.

Aww. You did the right thing in my book. I'd have eaten it because I wouldn't get an upset tummy from that. Cream, cheese or milk would be a different story. My DH would probably have had to say no to it.

You certainly shouldn't feel guilty. (Although I wouldn't say you should feel guilty if you'd make the opposite choice either.)

Remember it's a philosophy of minimum harm not the pursuit of purity.

You must have an insanely charmed life to bother making asinine irrelevant comments about it then.

Good point. Maybe a combination of both things? It's subsiding now, and I managed a healthy - very much vegan - breakfast! 😊

Thank you. That's super helpful x

You did what you thought was the best and kindest thing to do at the time.
If everyone lived their life like that imagine what a wonderful world it would be :)

Yes in hindsight there may have been a different way to deal with the situation but isn't that often the case, whatever the dilemma?

If it helps at all, I ate a ham sandwich as a vegetarian in my 20s. It had been prepared by my then boyfriend's great nanna and to this day I do not regret it one bit.

I've been vegan for several years. I wouldn't have eaten it and the posts about eating prepared meals are ridiculous- if you eat animal product is you are not vegan. We can easily make a mistake and it's just carry on. I once bit into a m and s chicken samosa as I thought it was the veggie one. It happens.

I think you did your best which is all anyone can do.
If it had actual meat in it or pieces of fish I would have said sorry I can’t eat it no matter what the situation because I just couldn’t swallow that however much I didn’t want to upset someone but the butter I could live with.
I still remember a time 32 years ago when someone told me a quiche was mushroom (I was vegetarian at the time) and it turned out to be chicken and mushroom. I spat the first mouthful out as soon as I tasted it but felt really sick and cross for the day.
Many meat eaters just don’t understand how important our choices are to us unfortunately.

Thank you. Helpful post 😊