Want to become vegetarian but...

[LovesColourGreen]

Hello
I know this is a vegan forum but I can't see a vegetarian one so I hope my query is still relevant here. I'm sorry for the long post:

For years I have wanted to become vegetarian with the mind to possibly become fully plant based someday if I could learn how to properly substitute meat and dairy without a deficit of essential vitamins etc. For now, I think a gradual transition of dropping meat, some dairy etc would be best for me so it's not such a huge lifestyle change and so daunting. I have started avoiding meat for breakfast and lunch, with 2 meat free days a week but want to take it further.

Those of you who became vegetarian/vegan from being omnivore, how supportive were your family/friends with this? How did you manage with having different meals to others in your household? If they made an innocent mistake such as serving you parmesan (with rennet) in an otherwise vegetarian meal, did they become upset when you explained why you can't eat it or did they understand? My DP will never stop eating meat and dairy, and I respect that because it is his life, his choice. What has stopped me becoming veg so far is 3 reasons: I am a massive foodie and I have massive fear of missing out, especially when eating with family or eating out at nice restaurants because I want to join in what they're eating, don't want to feel odd one out, especially when eating somewhere that offers awful or no veg/vegan subs. My second reason is I hate food waste so much I try my best to use up everything I can, to also save money (DP unfortunately isn't so frugal so doesn't mind throwing food out left to go bad and I am worried he will buy too much for himself and waste it, so I usually try to use up the leftovers) and it is easier to buy and cook the same for two with less waste than for one. Also would need to cook separate meals every evening! My third reason being that I don't like to feel like a 'burden' if people would need to cater for my specific needs e.g. meat/dairy subs.

I believe my family would be understanding and supportive of my choices because they know I am not a preachy, pushy person. I try to make eco friendly choices and care about climate change also but never force my views on others, as a kind of 'silent' protestor of plastics.

The only person in my family who is vegan is my SIL as she chose not to eat meat and fish when she was a child and has always had various allergies: nuts, milk, gluten. The family have always accepted and catered for this, including DP although I do think he finds this a nuisance from time to time, and I hope he can support me in the same way - he did pull a face and eye roll recently when I mentioned I want us to reduce our plastic use in the house, though he did say, oh I was only joking when I told him I felt disheartened.

My main reasons for wanting to at least go vegetarian are environmental but I also have been struggling between eating meat and seeing the living, breathing animals in the field. I don't cope well with feelings of guilt. Over the past few years I have gradually started to dislike the taste and texture of meat/fish and find it grosses me out more often than not.

I would suggest gradually cutting out meat.There is so much to choose from when it comes to delicious veggie food.I never feel I am missing out.As far as family is concerned it was very easy to adjust.Literally had zero problems

Agree. You could achieve many of your aims re eating more plant based foods by doing just that without labelling it. That way you wouldn’t need to worry about most of the objections on your list as you could still order the thing you fancy most on the menu, if there happen to be great veggie options (or you choose a restaurant that specialises in veg) you’ll automatically choose that. Or if there’s leftovers in the fridge you can use them, as food waste is also a bit environmental issue and not very respectful of the animals who’s lives have been taken to just dump them and cause more methane build up.

*big environmental issue

I was held back by the same worries but ome day just decided to bite the bullet and my only regret was not doing it sooner.

Eating out - almost everywhere does decent vegan food now.

Cooking 2 meals - does your OH insist on meat every meal? My DH and DC aren't vegan or even veggie but we've found plenty of vegan meals they all like. A couple of times a week they have meat and I have a vegan substitute e.g. DH roastsa chicken, we all have the same sides and he just puts a nut cutlet in the oven for me, so the extra effort is minimal.

Being a burden - this was my biggest worry. If we're invited to someone's house I will just say I'm vegan but very happy to bring something along.

I've been vegan 3 years and not looked back.

I'm 95% veggie (still have a roast dinner a few times a year). The rest of my family are not.

We found some really nice veggie meals that everyone eats, veggie chilli, pasta bakes etc. for the rest of the time we eat meals that naturally have several components, like stir fried veg with cashew nuts and stir fried chicken.

Thank you peeps, your advice is very helpful and reassuring

It's like anything really, if you want to do it badly enough, it's not actually that hard. There's a transitional period for sure but it's nowhere near as difficult as people imagine, I don't think.

Watch Land of Hope and Glory on YouTube and I'd be surprised if the FOMO and inconvenience matters much any more!

I became a veggie a few years ago. My partner still eats meat and we are big foodies.

I started with going all veggie at home. Then would only order meat/fish in restaurants if I felt I would really be missing out. All too soon you will find it a relief to be ‘officially’ veggie as then no one expects you to eat meat as opposed to when they know that you still occasionally do.

I hope my suggestion doesn't sound mean or too upsetting, but for me I never intended to stop being a carnivore, I'm still not fully as I have chicken or fish about once a week or 3 times a month and I eat eggs and butter. My reason for this was spending a little time with calves and lambs and their parents. I know it's stupid. I've always known where meat came from but farms break my heart now. My week is mostly vegan and I'm happy with that.

I became a vegetarian in the mid 80s, so it was very much and vegetarians were still seen as weirdos by some people like my family. Nevertheless, I still am and nowadays I'm probably 90% plant based. Many meals can have meat added after cooking or you can make one veggie and one meat option and freeze leftovers. Although I choose not to eat certain things, I wouldn't be upset about a grating of parmesan or a splash of milk in something someone else had made, but I do actively avoid them and don't buy them for use at home.

With all due respect, you've wanted to go vegetarian for 'years' but have never done it?
If you wanted to do it you would just do it. If you want to reduce then reduce. It's all possible, you just have to do it.

When I was a vegetarian (17 yrs) I would have said it was "really easy" to find nice things to eat,- but omg, it was so much easier when I started being omnivore again.

I can only suggest OP start by cutting down on meat & dairy, without being purist about it, and see how much of a 'burden' those choices are in practice -- on OP, or others. Sounds like OP will have to tolerate the food waste no matter what if OP goes vegan. The food waste would bother me a lot, too.

Is there a >= 3.8% fat milk substitute ?