going vegan with a fussy four year old, plus school and family stuff

[sprinklemonkey]

I really want to go fully vegan (already vegetarian tending towards veganism) but have a really fussy four year old.

His diet consists of mostly potato dishes, plain pasta, plain veg, bread, fruit etc but very little "mixed" food eg. not keen on sauces, stew, curries etc

We already have non-dairy milk, but just struggling with the cheese side of things (e.g. pizza is one of the few things he will eat).

I don't have a great deal of time to cook elaborate meals for him (single parent) and when I try hard to make something suited for his taste a lot of the time he simply won't eat it.

So really making that leap to veganism is kind of dependent on him as I rely on getting him to eat a varied diet which sometimes includes cheese products...

I'm also aware that at school he'd like to fit in, being vegetarian is a bit difficult, so ensuring he has vegan food at school might be trickier as he might feel more left out...e.g. if they are having pudding, chocolate, pizza etc...

My family are vegetarian and won't give him vegan milk, e.g. they feed him cows milk, they don't seem that bothered about trying to avoid it. I guess I need another conversation with them about it but it feels like two steps forward at home then one step back when he goes there as he likes cow milk etc.

If anyone has any pointers about raising or going vegan with a fussy kid it would be most welcome!

dear all....thank you for the varied responses!

particularly Whatslovegottodo for the practical advice as this is what I was really after :)

appreciate the thoughts about fitting in at school etc. I think we'll try to go mostly vegan at home only and I will leave him to eat as he wishes when we're elsewhere... luckily we live in an open minded city where there are many veggies and vegans, so I don't think he'll have too hard a time. i was raised veggie from birth, and never felt I was missing out on anything, but appreciate vegan is a bit of a different level.

as far as dairy substitutes go I find it easy to substitute milk with vegan milks as there are many nice ones around and he likes them, soya yoghurts, dairy free spread etc. I think we just slip up at cheese, but I will try to find more vegan ones and see what he likes and am not going to deprive him of occasional dairy consumption.

I've been veering towards vegan since he was born, so it's not going to make a great deal of difference to his home diet...nor is it a particularly recent thing...we do give him a multivitamin too...

Although he has a fairly limited diet we try to get him to eat a range of stuff within what he likes and he's a healthy kid. I guess he could eat a bit more protein but am sure that baked beans, tofu and veggie sausages count and he will eat them when served.

I guess I just would like any practical ideas of straightforward vegan dishes to feed a kid who is fussy really...and support from other parents of vegan or semi-vegan children....

Thanks everyone!

SuburbanRhonda yes I know - hence i said predominantly. They eat no dairy or meat etc ever. I just happen to know that they very very occasionally have an egg

You can't be "predominantly" vegan. A vegan does not eat eggs, whether it's ten a day or one a year.

OK their diet is 'predominantly vegan' or whatever. I think everyone (including you) knows what I meant.

It sounds as though what he eats now is mostly vegan-friendly anyway so it might not be too big a change for him.

My two (vegan from birth) aren't fussy at all so listing what they eat will just sound like a stealth boast and won't be particularly helpful to you right now.

The type of stuff I cook for visiting non-vegan (and often pretty fussy) children are things like:

Pasta with tomato sauce and then provide a range of 'toppings' for them to choose from such a small olives, vegan cheese, seeds, broccoli, tofu, sweetcorn.

Burritos - give them a wrap each and a choice of fillings such as black beans, rice, salad, salsa, guacamole.

Mini pizzas - similar to above, I let them choose their toppings.

Children love having some autonomy over what they eat and other parents are often surprised what their DCs will eat when they come to our house.

Also, my DCs and I spend a lot of time chatting about food, nutrition, ethics etc so they are totally clear on why they choose to eat the way they do (and it is their choice now at 8 and 6).

Like you I was raised veggie from birth and then went vegan 20 years ago (outing myself like crazy here) and from what I can see my children's experience of being vegan today is actually a lot easier than it was for me as a child.

They love being vegan and so far have had no issues with being left out or feeling different. Friends and family have all been absolutely amazing in catering for them - e.g. Vegan cakes being provided for them at other children's parties is actually more the norm than not - that's really surprised me!

I can't think of anything else to add but feel free to ask anything you'd like to know.

'Small olives'? They're actually fairly average

I think move your home to fully vegan and out the house he can eat vegetarian as it's easier to cater for. That's what I plan to do with my children. I obviously hope they will choose to be vegan anyway but the choice has to be theirs. I won't be alllowing them to eat meat until they are old enough to understand what it is and where it came from though.

For me, to have fake milk or meat is perpetuating the cultural values that say those are the normal foods to be eating. If you eat fake versions, then there is a tacit acknowledgement that either/both A) the genuine versions are valid things to eat & want to eat, and B) that a vegan diet needs to contain those fake versions in order to be remotely palatable or acceptable.

Seeking out or recommending meat & milk substitutes is immediately saying you don't really believe in (whatever are) vegan principles and that veganism isn't a viable stand-alone dietary choice, after all. I can't reconcile the dichotomy at all of wanting fake meat-milk & calling self vegan.

What is wrong with the OP wanting a healthier diet for her son that saves animals and the planet?

It's not going to be a healthier diet for a child who is already not getting a good range of foods. To restrict this childs diet by so much more is likely to be very unhealthy for him.
Your principles should not come above the childs health.

@lljkk my children are allergic to cows milk protein and eggs, so we rely on the vegan cheese and milk substitutes, so I am really grateful they are so prevalent now.
There are delicious vegan cake recipes; violife works well on pizza and in cheese toasties ((just microwave it on high for 30 secs) to get it melting; oatly creme fraiche is a good base for pasta sauces.

IF the problem is CMPA then why not just use sheeps cheese, goats cheese, buffalo cheese? Most vegan "cheeses" are highly processed and full of crap.

Because all the animal proteins are very similar and so none of them are suitable for those with severe CMPA.

"Surely it's important to teach kids not to bully rather than stop any differences!"

I agree, but in practice this is very difficult to police. I agree with the idea of eating vegan at home and being more relaxed elsewhere.

Vegan substitutes exist because people give them up not because they don't like the taste etc but because they don't like the cruelty that comes with meat and dairy production. Just because you become vegan you still want to drink a decent cup of tea. Also having alternatives make it easier for people to transition.

you will be amazed at the amount of vegan products you are already consuming so really it should not be that hard. There are so many different milks you can have from vanilla soya, chocolate, oat, almond, multigrain milk. There should be something that suits your ds. Also like going veggie its all about finding the alternative product. Same thing with vegan. There are plenty vegan cheeses and if you join vegan communities online you will find how to make a simple vegan cheese sauce yourself that may help. For school just send in an alternative so your ds is not left out when situations occur like birthday cake or whatever. Its worth a shot and you can always let him revert to being veggie for a bit longer if it doesn't work out at the moment. I realise that doesn't help moneywise but at least you could give it a try. It might work.

M&S jelly sweets claim to be veggie but look carefully on the back as quite a few are actually vegan. DD loves them. So even treats can still be included. we avoided jelly for ages until we found them.