Arranging for my elderly mum to travel to me by train

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My mum, in her 90s, is travelling to spend time with me. She's about 100 miles away, and I would like to see if there is a way that she can be helped to travel by train, so that we don't have to both fetch her and take her home.
Anyone's experiences would be gratefully received

My husbands grandad would have his bag couriered over to my in laws house when he got the train so he didn’t have to carry it with him. A relative helped him on the train, he was then picked up by in laws at the other end.

If she's still very capable and able then I don't see the issue tbh. Always good to promote independence in the elderly for as long as possible - of course, only if she's as able as you say and wants to do it!

Passenger assistance is a good shout as is the fact there's no changes.

If she's not frail and doesn't have cognitive decline then I'm sure you'll sort this out with some tweaks

My 90 year old mother In law travels to us 5 hrs on the train. She enjoys it. We book the rail assistance at either end and she likes chatting to people, snoozing and reading. The assistance has never failed to be there for her at the arranged time.

My mum needs a stick and a, hand free so we couriered her luggage to us and back again. Was very reasonable. All collected from home. We used a box but you could give the bag dimensions. For the journey she had a chat with the conductor and it went smoothly.

I can only assume some posters have very limited experience of trains. Seems totally reasonable to me, every time I travel by train there are plenty of elderly people on it who seem to manage fine.

The only thing I would say is that passenger assistance can be a bit hit and miss in practice so I would advise her not to have more luggage than she can manage

Years ago, when my mother was still able to travel, I found that the passenger assistance was absolutely fantastic. I’m talking now at least 10 years ago so it might have changed. The only times they couldn’t help was when trains were diverted because of bad weather and they lost track of what was going on, which I can’t blame them for.

Totally depends what train company, what station it is and how much assistance she'll actually need.
Train companies are now bare bones with staff and sadly don't have a lot of staff to help, many are now unmanned completely at certain parts of the day.

Passenger assistance is great for train journeys. My DM used to go and see DB by train and our local station is inaccessible to someone with mobility issues. A taxi was laid on to take her to the next accessible station up the line. She was helped on and off the train by a staff member. You need to book in advance though.

Absolutely no way on earth would I make my 90 plus year old mother travel a hundred miles by train. For goodness sake, of course you should collect her and take her back. 100 miles is what, about a 2 and a half hour drive? She will be much more comfortable in the car.

Depends upon whether you're having to go through Clapham Junction or not. I swear that if the gaps there were any larger, you'd need a stepladder and parachute.

My MIL traveled 300 miles by train - she’s 84. I organised passenger assistance and they were brilliant. All she had to do was identify herself at the departure station and they took her and her case to the train, put her on the train in her allocated seat and made a bit of a fuss of her. My DH met her in London and bought her back here and they even helped her off the train and helped locate DH so they knew she was safe.

I would definitely use it again for her as she was looked after very well

Trains are FAR more comfortable than cars! Bigger, higher seats, little tables, toilets, buffet trolley.

There is a service on some rail firms where they can meet you with a wheelchair I think? But she would need to have a taxi booked for her and it depends on her level of need.
Does she use a walking aid? Can she make her own way onto the train, into the seat, get to the loo and back while on train?
My mum is 85 and could just about manage as she uses a folding wheeled walker, but I would be meeting her on the platform or just behind the gates on her arrival.
You may need to pay for someone to travel with her if her need is high.

Totally agree.

I don't really understand why the idea is so horrifying to some posters

By the service that's provided for passengers who need help?

She's your Mum and she's over ninety. Her time in this world is limited. Go and get her. Every time you see her may be the last time. Do you want the last time to be the time you made her get the train because you had something more important to do?

We realised the extent of my dad’s dementia when I put him on a direct train to be collected by my brother 200miles away. Except they were detained due to a fault with the train. He got confused, wasn’t helped by staff (he looked in control although he wasn’t) and ended up on a train to the opposite side of the country.
Traumatic for all concerned and we never put him to travel on his own again.

She's your Mum and she's over ninety. Her time in this world is limited. Go and get her. Every time you see her may be the last time. Do you want the last time to be the time you made her get the train because you had something more important to do?
Sorry, you don't know me, or my mum, or my circumstances. As is demonstrated by your final sentence. This isn't AIBU.
Thanks to all the posters for their helpful advice.

Not necessarily... my 90 year old mother finds trains far more comfortable and relaxing than cars.
I would suggest first class though so that she has the benefit of the refreshments trolley. A 90 year old would probably find going to the buffet car and lurching around very difficult.

Mum travelled solo by train 200+ miles with one change well into her very late 80s. Passenger assist were brilliant and she really enjoyed the independence, chatting to the guards etc.

Totally agree. Just bloody collect her.