Hen Do advice

[sldix]

I need your help! I've recently found out that I'm expecting my first child...it was a bit of a surprise to say the least! I'm a bridesmaid for a good friend from school but won't be able to attend the hen do as I'll be 8 months pregnant at the time and won't be able to fly abroad. How can I tell her and the group I can't go. As I'm still in the very early stages, like I haven't told anyone yet I'm finding it hard. What would you do?

"I'm pregnant, so I won't be going to the hen."

You also need to figure out if you'll be able to even attend the wedding. I would make that decision quickly because it's better to bow out gracefully at the earliest.

You've just told me what I already know deep down. Maybe I just wanted a magic excuse so I didn't have to tell anyone I was expecting. I have a bad history and it's making me quite anxious the thought of telling anyone

Honestly, If the hen is still a good 6-7 months away there is almost no excuse apart from the truth that will get you out

I’d tell the bride honestly and then ask her to help you keep it a secret until you’re ready to tell everyone

No need to tell the whole group. Just tell the bride that you are pregnant, that it's very early days and you don't want anyone else knowing yet. You don't have to mention not going to the hen until later when you are happy for people to know about your pregnancy. I'd be inclined to pull out of bring bridesmaid as you may well be expected to organise the hen regardless. Also if the wedding is shortly after the hen you can't really commit to being available. I assume the bride is a good friend so she should understand. Best to tell her soon so she can think of choosing another bridesmaid.