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Original poster

Advice on moving to London

27 replies

nnmumma · 04/03/2018 00:02

Hi,
I currently live in a small town in Somerset with my nine month old daughter. My partner lives (parents) and works in London, I get so lonely being by myself everyday & night. My partner comes home every other week for a few nights but the loneliness is starting to take a toll, I have been thinking of moving to London but worried of being alone, although I'd get to have my partner home every evening and a few days. I am only 21 and have lived in a very small town all my life so the thought of moving to London scares me. I just wanted some advice from mummies who are living in London or have moved there of what it's like? Did you make friends easily? is it easy to get used to the city life? What are the nice areas?
Thank you

OP posts:
nancy75 · 04/03/2018 00:04

Where does your partner live? If you are no I g to London surely you’d want to be in the same area as him?

Original poster
nnmumma · 04/03/2018 00:09

He lives with his parents in golders green. I wouldn't want to move to the same area as his parents as we all need our own space

OP posts:
Littlelambpeep · 04/03/2018 00:23

How would you finance getting your own place ? I would go for it if you can

Original poster
nnmumma · 04/03/2018 00:23

@nancy75

OP posts:
Original poster
nnmumma · 04/03/2018 00:25

@Littlelambpeep I was thinking about private renting or doing an exchange, I have had a few offers but my partner isn't keen on the area and I want to be 100% sure on my decision.

OP posts:
NinjagoNinja · 04/03/2018 00:27

Is he the father of your child?

ArcheryAnnie · 04/03/2018 00:27

nnmumma could you afford it? Accommodation in London is ruinously expensive.

If you can, well, having a small child is the easiest way to meet new friends in London! There's playgroups of all sorts, and

As your DD gets older, there's so many opportunities for kids to do so many things in London. Public transport is pretty good - it's not always comfortable but there's a lot of it so you needn't be doomed to be your DD's taxi service forever.

Schools can be difficult to get into, but there's plenty of excellent schools IF you are in a cachment.

London's huge, so narrowing it down to a "nice" area depends what it means by nice.

NinjagoNinja · 04/03/2018 00:29

And would you be moving in together?

NinjagoNinja · 04/03/2018 00:30

If he's already in London, surely he has more idea than you where's "nice" and where he can afford.

Of would you be setting up home independently of him?

nancy75 · 04/03/2018 00:30

Where you live will depend very much on your budget for rent. Will you be living with your partner?

Original poster
nnmumma · 04/03/2018 00:34

@NinjagoNinja yes he is the farther of my child. He has suggested areas but like you said it is expensive to rent in London which is why i have been looking into exchange.

OP posts:
NinjagoNinja · 04/03/2018 00:34

Will you be moving in together?

Original poster
nnmumma · 04/03/2018 00:35

@nancy75 that it very true. No he won't be living with me but would be nice to have company and help a lot more than I do now

OP posts:
Original poster
nnmumma · 04/03/2018 00:39

@NinjagoNinja no he won't be moving in with me, its more of the fact of having him around a lot more to help and for company.

OP posts:
NinjagoNinja · 04/03/2018 00:41

Why won't he be moving in with you? It's a major upheaval for you to move your life to another city for a man who prefers to remain with his parents. Do you see yourselves as a family?

nancy75 · 04/03/2018 00:41

If you are going to be living on your own how will you afford it? Wait for a council house in London is about 10 years & rent is astronomical.
If you do have a massive stash of cash then you still want to be roughly in the same area as him if you want to see him regularly? There’s no point moving to the other side of London

italiancortado · 04/03/2018 00:41

Sorry but o don't see the point in making a massive move and still not living with him. That level of disruption and compromise would be one of those things if you were to live together, but to do it for a bit of company now and then?

Maybe you could join some baby groups or something g and make some friends if it's company you need.

No way would I take such a leap with it any level of commitment

nancy75 · 04/03/2018 00:47

A studio flat near where he lives us at least £800 a month, can you afford that on your own?
I’m sorry to say I think your plan needs rethinking.

Original poster
nnmumma · 04/03/2018 00:51

@nancy75 @NinjagoNinja If I accept the exchange then I don't need to worry about housing and the area isn't too far from his either. I was just looking for people opinions on other areas that I could look at. He drives also so it isn't really an issue

OP posts:
nancy75 · 04/03/2018 00:53

So you have someone that has a council flat in North London who wants to exchange for your council flat in Somerset? That sounds quite unusual? Where is the flat in London? Surely the rent will still be much higher than yours is now?

NinjagoNinja · 04/03/2018 00:59

Stay where you are. Don't move a thing until the father of your child makes a commitment towards you both. What kind of man-child has the mother of his child move across the country to twiddle her fingers in a grotty high-rise flat hoping to see him a few nights a week while he continues to be looked after by his own mummy down the road.

Stay where you are unless he proposes marriage and/or suggests getting a place together, at the very least.

nancy75 · 04/03/2018 00:59

Do his parents know about you & the baby?

NinjagoNinja · 04/03/2018 01:02

Sorry if I sound harsh OP. You must be very lonely where you are and raising a baby without support is extremely hard. I can see why this feels like a good move but you need to be careful not to make things worse for yourself. I feel concerned for you.

AjasLipstick · 04/03/2018 01:07

I wouldn't move to a city like London with what sounds like an unstable, uncommitted relationship as my only support.

How is he your partner if you have a baby together but he's not living with you? Confused

Why would you leave what sounds like a council house....for a private rental in a city where the man you're meant to be WITH won't even live with you??

AjasLipstick · 04/03/2018 01:08

Nancy it's not unusual at all actually. A lot of people want to get out of London.

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