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Tutoring

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Could a tutor solve our problem?

12 replies

PWPUK · 13/09/2022 08:59

My daughter (just turned 10, Y6) has looming assessment days and entrance exams for senior school, she’s currently at a prep. Consequently this term is ramping up with more homework.

She’s considered a bright all-rounder but the quality of her homework is terrible - she doesn’t care, cannot seem to spend time on it or let her brain engage thoughtfully before answering.

Last night she had some comprehension, her initial answers were absolutely awful and she hadn’t bothered to read the first bit of paper telling her to plan, spend x amount writing, use best handwriting, full sentences etc. I ended up re-doing it with her, encouraging her to think hard about what the question was asking and how we could get the answer by thinking about what the text was inferring.

The second set of answers was better and she will hand in both as I think it’s important that the teacher can see her first attempt which she did entirely alone.

The schools we’ve selected are reasonably academic, she really likes them. We contacted school to check they were happy with our choices and asked them to be honest if they were concerned she wouldn’t get a place - they said yes, but seriously based on last night’s first effort in her strongest subject, there is no way she’d get the pass mark…..

I feel like we should look again and consider less academic options but she’s adamant about these schools. I know her homework usually is of a lower quality than she produces in school but I am still freaking out!!!

Any words of wisdom much appreciated. I hate the stress and I hate the arguing.
I’ve always said to her that wrong answers are fine if you’ve tried your hardest. I don’t want her to be top of the class but just to care a bit more and take pride in work she does - she didn’t even bother to read the comprehension passage thoroughly before starting to answer, so she hadn’t digested the full story.

OP posts:
Madamecastafiore · 13/09/2022 10:04

My son was like this. Although he was already at senior school when they flagged up his issues. We hadn't caught it ourselves as he was older and did his work independently. We got him an English tutor who taught him how to read the questions and answer them properly and he ended up getting v good gcse grades in all subjects due to her hard work with him.

Sometimes it takes a little time and effort from someone else because as good as we are at parenting we aren't teachers and I think kids automatically kick back against us for some bloody unknown reason where they'll listen to someone else.

PWPUK · 13/09/2022 11:23

Thanks @Madamecastafiore that’s exactly it. She resists - last night she asked could she do her homework then read it over with me. After 20 mins she’d changed her mind and said she didn’t want me to look at it - she absolutely knew she hadn’t really bothered and knew I would tell her it wasn’t really her best work. I’m glad I checked anyway and she understood why I made her do it again. She says I think she doesn’t try hard - but I told her that I know she works hard at school and I’m proud of her efforts, but at home she doesn’t and that is what I see more of. Urgh!

OP posts:
Lovetogarden2022 · 13/09/2022 14:03

This could have been written by my best friend! Her daughter (my god daughter) is very bright and understands things but had no enthusiasm for homework or concentrating on longer pieces of work. They've found a really good tutoring company and it's like night and day - they just sat with her (online, so virtually sat with her lol) and gave her ways of concentrating for longer etc. She went from getting 3/10 on her comprehension and homework tasks, to now getting at least 9/10 if not full marks. I can pass on their details if you'd like them - feel free to DM me

minipie · 13/09/2022 14:13

I can’t comment on tutoring but I would say that everyone should apply to one less selective school that your DC is almost certain to get a place at. Even if she’s doing well academically, there are always kids who have off days or are ill or don’t do well with the exam format or whatever, so you need a less selective school as a back up.

Lovetogarden I would love the details please!

Lovetogarden2022 · 13/09/2022 14:58

minipie · 13/09/2022 14:13

I can’t comment on tutoring but I would say that everyone should apply to one less selective school that your DC is almost certain to get a place at. Even if she’s doing well academically, there are always kids who have off days or are ill or don’t do well with the exam format or whatever, so you need a less selective school as a back up.

Lovetogarden I would love the details please!

I don't know how to DM you on the app! But the company is Tayberry. I signed my daughter up as well and she starts lessons tomorrow for the 11+ for 2023.

minipie · 13/09/2022 15:15

Thanks will look them up!

PWPUK · 13/09/2022 15:51

Thanks @minipie and @Lovetogarden2022 -
We’re also doing Atom as one school is based on the pre-test - a whole other challenge getting her to slow down and take time before selecting the answer….let alone even getting her to do more than a few minutes a day.
I’ll check out the tutor company.

OP posts:
MichelleAnderson · 14/09/2022 06:22

Actually, I think the main aim of tutors is to make children independent learners. I've seen terrible tutors who just write students' homework and that's it. But I've also seen tutors who teach kids studying hacks, help them see why they are studying exactly and help them emotionally too.
I've hired tutors for my son from this company and saved this article:
blog.edumentors.co.uk/what-makes-up-great-tutors-and-how-they-can-change-the-mindset-of-children/
It's hard for younger children to comprehend the importance of homework, it;s understandable, don't be too harsh:(

Brody77 · 21/09/2022 21:14

I’m struggling with my dd starting year 4 at a prep and homework which seems to have ramped up a lot this year, she’s diagnosed with dyslexia and already gets extra 1 to 1 sessions in maths and English for this but is struggling with motivation and confidence with homework, partly as she didn’t do the comprehension homework last year as she had extra work from her 1 to 1s. It’s become such a stressful daily battle to achieve it I’m wondering about tutoring to help her and let me be mum as I just don’t want her to fall further behind and to build her confidence but there is so little time in the evening and morning to do it. Do these companies do their sessions in the evening or at weekends? Thanks

Newuser82 · 21/09/2022 21:16

I have no answers unfortunately but goodness my son is the same. Wish I knew what to do to make him try his best!

declutteringmymind · 21/09/2022 21:19

It sounds as though she performs when she has to but won't do it for you.

Just send it in as she does it, and the schoolteacher will pull her up on it.

livwisetutoring · 04/10/2022 15:35

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