How do you deal with toxic people at work?

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There are a couple of people at work who are making me feel quite anxious. One of the situations is that someone had a promotion blocked, for good reason, and is gone in a massive sulk about it. She is now trying to encourage other people to work to rule, including people who I line manage. I don't think she's been particularly successful with the people I manage but I suspect she has been with others.

It's one of those situations where I know about it but can't address it directly because I've been told things in confidence.

In similar situations how have you managed to deal with this type of thing and stay calm and not let it affect your mental health? It's leading to feelings of paranoia.

I'm currently in a version of this situation. I have a colleague who has become more and more toxic of late. We have undergone a massive restructure over the last 2 years and is, to quote you "Having a massive sulk about it". He's especially struggling to adapt to the part of the business processes that I run, so many of his sulks are aimed at me, though it's not exclusive in any way.

While I'm OK with it personally, I used to teach teenage boys so I handle him in much the same way, I have been concerned at his treatment of other colleagues.

I have raised this with, not his manager, but someone who I get on with extremely well who is managed by the overall head of the larger section of the business we all work in. My concerns have been framed in my concerns for his mental health. It's obvious to those of us who have worked with him for years that he's not coping and that his behaviour is spiralling.

I deliberately spoke to someone who I know will step back and take a broad view of this, and is not in my line management or in his. I also trust him to discretely take it up with the appropriate people. He knew that this person was getting worse, but hadn't realised the impact on those who had to deal with the fallout. I genuinely worry about his mental health, but I also see the impact his behaviour is having on others.

I've left it at that. I've encouraged anyone who talked to me about their bruising encounters with this man to talk to the same person I did.

Are we using the word "toxic" for everything now?

I can't believe you bothered coming onto the thread just to bitchplop that little nugget!

Thanks - I can imagine teaching teenagers would give you a thicker skin for this sort of situation.

Haha, love it!

I’m suffering a version of this too, with my direct line manager no less. I’ve put up with the bullshit for nearly a year now. I feel your pain!

"Bitchplop"?!

How toxic

I think it’s a fair point, actually. The term is pretty meaningless (as used online, it pretty much means ‘Someone I think isn’t nice’) whereas the rest of your post is much more insightful about the precise challenges of what’s going on in your workplace. This person isn’t so much toxic as they are unprofessional, assuming they’re underperforming. I think your issue here is that someone told you something in confidence, which ties your hands. Do you not have enough information to act on without breaking the confidence? Or can you go back to the person who spoke confidentially and ask their permission to act? It’s unfair for someone to complain to you, a line manager, and not give them the tools to act.

Yes, I agree that 'toxic' is probably overused, but it's also a useful shorthand, particularly in a thread title, for conveying the general sense of a situation.

The bitchplopp offered nothing constructive. If it had been a long thread with lots of helpful responses, someone making that observation might have seemed proportionate. But I'd posted because I'm genuinely struggling with a situation and at that point, one of only two responses was a dismissive one-liner. That is the very definition of bitchplopping. And I like the word. I think its funny.

On your more constructive point, I agree that it's difficult being given information in confidence when you're in a position where you might otherwise be able to act on it. I am going to go back to the person who told me and discuss whether there are ways of addressing the situation without compromising their anonymity.

Were you told in confidence that she’d gone to them or that there was going to be a work to rule? If you know what issues they were planning to bring to the table you could address it indirectly by asking how people feel about those issues. To be honest though all you can do is get on with work, you’re a manager so you need to just keep steering the ship

I was told about it, and have realised that I just assumed it was in confidence. I am going to go back to that person and revisit. Though I also in 2 minds as not wanting to create drama unnecessarily. Wondering if there's other ways of coming at this to fix the issue without focussing so much on the negative