Having a rubbish time

[wonderstuff]

Nothing truly awful, but a lot, DFIL is in hospital, we got a call from SIL on our way to airport for long awaited weekend away, chose not to tell Dd(18) as she is away in another country and honestly wanted to wait until we knew more and were home, think we didn’t want to think about it all more than needed, anyway came home and found her cousin has filled her in and added her to a family group chat I didn’t know existed (DH did) and now she’s really cross with us, because we didn’t tell her. And I’m missing her so much (she’s working abroad for a few months) and really didn’t intend to exclude or upset her. DH is looking at residential care options with DSIL now. Also going on my house is in chaos thanks to repairs after a leak, I’ve just discovered a toilet is not working and I’ve no idea how to fix it so need a plumber, had to turn water off and it’s constantly dripping (thankfully appears to be into cistern) I’ve banged my head getting up from turning off stop cock and just want to cry really. I should be cleaning and sorting out the kitchen (furniture just been brought back today), but now I’ve turned the water off that’s tricky…

I would have done exactly the same. I would also be quite annoyed with the cousin.

I would just tell your DD ‘We wanted to know more before we told you. I wanted to give you the full picture and not worrying you unnecessarily. Please don’t be angry with us - we have an awful lot on.

All the house stuff if stressful, but just part and parcel of life, that will get sorted bit by bit.

Oh OP 🫂 ❤️
What a horrible time for all of you. Eighteen year olds are still teenagers and not always the best at putting themselves in other's shoes. I think the poster above has it right that you could just explain your reasoning and let her know how frazzled you are at the moment.
Don't worry too much about the cleaning etc. it can wait. If you need to go for a walk to a nice coffee shop and take an hour out of the day to just chill, then go for it.
After that, call a plumber for the new leak, then tackle the other jobs one at a time. They'll get done slowly but surely and your house will feel calmer. If you can (or if you fancy it) have a takeaway for tea tonight for you and DH. A treat is definitely needed!
Wishing all of you the very best and a speedy recovery for your DFIL.

Thanks guys, just all feeling a bit much, looked at care homes today with DSIL, plumber coming tomorrow, carpenter today has made a bit of a botch on part of the kitchen but I’m past caring at the moment. I’m sure DD will understand, but so hard over WhatsApp and I never know when she’s free to call, think I’ll ask her to call me if she can today. It’s all fixable, there’s certainly worse things. She’s home in 3 weeks. I think at 18 while you’re grown up enough to look after yourself, you’re still petty self centred.