Asked to keep secret from partner - Should I tell?

[ThePinkOrca]

Hi, my partners brother recently told me some information about family inheritance and specifically how their parents are not disclosing the inheritance to my partner and their other siblings (not giving them it ‘just now’) he tried to make me promise I wouldn’t say anything but as soon as he shared this with me I interrupted him and told him I didn’t want to hear about it and don’t want to be put in that situation.

I understand that I don’t know their reasoning for this however, I do feel as though an adult conversation should be had to at least notify my partner of the inheritance and explain that he will receive this in due course or if it’s being kept until a specific age or milestone is reached?

this also isn’t the first concern I’ve had about financial secrecy relating to my partner however, this is the first time I’ve received blatant information confirming that something is being hidden.

I don’t want to cause disruption in the family as like I said I don’t know the full reasoning however due to past events I can’t help but feel like there may be more to it that meets the eye and I feel like I should tell my partner.

basically - help! What do I do?

What do you mean? Why would your partner's parents give any inheritance to their children before they, themselves, die?

Normally, inheritance is distributed to beneficiaries following the death of a parent. What is your partner's brother saying?

Surely your loyalty lays with your partner/ Why on earth would his brother tell you and expect you to keep it a secret. Tell him, and if you don't and then one day it comes out you knew, that could rightly be the end of your relationship. Why wouldn't you tell him.?

Tell him.

I'm usually the one arguing on here that you don't have to tell your partner absolutely everything.

But this is different, this is specifically about him, and his brother was an idiot to tell you, especially given you told him not to.

We are always advised to tell children if they are asked to keep something secret then there is something wrong. I would suggest this is a good rule of thumb for all adults to live by as well. Your partner should be able to rely on your loyalty.

Tell the brother to tell your husband, otherwise you will.

Brother sounds like a shit stirrer...

What motive has your partner's brother got for telling you I wonder? If they don't want your partner to know "just now".Surely he must know you would tell him? I don't think it's fair of them or him to do this you & your partner, I would tell him, but I don't know the back story as to while they feel it's necessary.

It’s inheritance from another family member - it’s been given to mum for her to give to her children.. she has given to one (brother who told me) and is keeping from the rest for reasons unknown to me

If it’s willed to them , surely that’s illegal?
Has she spent it ?

Tell your husband what his brother told you. You are married to him not the brother.

Sounds like mother is keeping money that she should distribute. Might be the brother finding a way to tell your husband without going direct.

Did the will specifically say it was for the children or was it left to the mother. If it was left to the children then it should have been paid directly to them.
If it was left to the mother and she has decided to gift it to her children, then I guess she can do so whenever she likes.
Is there a big difference in the siblings financial situations ? Is your partner bad with money.?

Why in earth have they told you if he can't know?

I'm afraid my first thought, if a member of DP's family did that, would be that it was some sort of test designed to find out if I'm after the family silver.

Why why why would his brother tell you that? Is he causing trouble?

I would absolutely tell my partner this information. I wouldn’t be having secrets with his brother about family finances.

You have to tell your partner. Brother is delulu if he thinks you won't.

What do you mean? If it was money inherited by MIL she can do whatever she wants with it.

If it’s money that should have been inherited by DH and siblings and she is executor, she has no legal right to withhold DH share, according to the will.

This all sounds very dodgy. If your husband was named in the will, the executor is legally bound to notify him and give him his share of the estate.