How I improve my self esteem??

[GizmoIsSoFluffy]

Harder than it sounds. I'm middle aged, autistic and hate myself and lack of self esteem. People say they have never known anyone be so down on themselves. But I've never understood people, or they understanding me and I just hate everything I do/say when I do find the courage to speak.

I have tried doing group hobbies, but enwvitably have to give up because I can't deal with the group situation 😢

Why do you need to be in a group OP?

Because other humans seem to thrive in groups, as if it's the key to contentment.

Please can you list a time or two when someone has said something lovely about yourself.?

Can you tell me about something you have achieved that has given you a sense of satisfaction?

I think in these times its wise to be very selective about groups.

Not all groups help you to feel good, my personal opinion here you understand.

You need a good ND experienced therapist. Unfortunately they are few and far between. And expensive.
Just because others like groups, doesn't mean you have to. You are you and your work on your self esteem has to be based on that. Start with a few podcasts maybe. Blindboy podcast is from an Irish artist who is autistic and explores that, as well as loads of other issues. It may be interesting for you?

I can relate, I feel like I was born without self esteem and trying to nurture some feels as pointless and impossible as trying to grow back a missing limb. Only thing that works for me is not ‘feeding’ any negative thoughts about myself, deliberately focussing on something else when they creep in. It’s hard but does work a bit.

Other things that help are working out what works for you, so you mention group hobbies didn’t work, but what might work is contributing something like serving at a soup kitchen or volunteering in a charity shop? That way you are there for a task, not primarily to socialise, and the feeling of contributing to the effort (whatever that might be) can help improve your feelings of self worth.

Good luck, I hope you find some peace and understanding.

If it helps I can't be bothered with groups, or I can in small doses.

I play musical instrument. Only started in later life. I find Uncle Stuart hilarious and watch his videos to make me laugh and to motivate me to get better. "Don't get bitter get better" as my old Rev used to say.
Anyway it's taken a looooong time but just recently whilst practicing my musical instrument I finally got a dopamine hit!
Just a thought.

If you have cash even seeing a friendly music teacher is an opportunity for social connection without the 'stress' of thinking , Oh I must make meaningful connections.

Also I've been down of late and rang Silverline for the first time. My conversation was so helpful and it's open to anyone over 55.
Ps if you want a penpal let me know x :)