Safeguarding advice re incident in school

[orangeleafs]

Just wondering if there are any teachers about who could give me some advice about how to deal with this situation.

DD5 (year 1) told me tonight that boy in reception asked her and another girl in reception to see their knickers at breakfast club earlier this week. DD told me she said no, and reported it to the club supervisor. Breakfast club is offsite, and the children are taken into school for the start of the school day.

This is the first I’ve heard of it, and nothing has been said to me by the school. I’m happy with how DD handled it, but I’m slightly worried that the incident wasn’t passed on to the school. I have emailed the school tonight and have asked for a call tomorrow to discuss.

Can anyone advise on whether I’m doing the right thing in following it up, and anything I should be asking? Thanks.

Speak to the school DSL asap. The breakfast club may be off-site but they will be able to deal with this.

Thanks @InBristolShould I have been told about the incident? I feel a bit disconcerted that I wasn’t told, even if it was just to reinforce to DD about what to do if she’s in that situation again etc

I don't have any experience of off site breakfast but would expect them to speak to you at drop off tomorrow.

A 4 year old asking to see a girls knickers doesn't sound like a safeguarding issue to me, it's something that is quite quickly and easily dealt with by the adult at the time?

You absolutely should have been told and this incident should have then been added to CPOMS system. Speak to the safeguarding lead tomrorow and ask tomsee
the CPOMS entry made regarding this incident and good on your dd for dealing with this so we’ll bless her x

4/5 year olds right?

That is so worrying that a boy that age would even ask that question. Thank god your dd told you and knew to say no and tell a grown up in the moment. Yes I think they should definitely have told you, I’d be worried that they aren’t seeing it as a concerning incident, they need to investigate why the boy is asking such things, and if he’s done similar in the past, plus put in place a risk management plan to safeguard the other kids from it happening again.

Yes. He’s in reception. DD is in year 1 and the other little girl is also in reception. I assume they’re both 4, unless have a September birthday.

risk management plan to safeguard the other kids

Really- seems a bit ott as the boy is in reception so about 4 years of age! It's natural for children at that age to try and make sense of differences between girls and boys. Of course teachers are expected to keep all the children safe but these are opportunities for children to be taught about safe touch, personal body safety etc.

If anything in the scenario described, I might be more curious bout the boy and his home life.

Why would they let the OP see the CPOMS log? Surely it would breach GDPR?

Bumping for the morning crowd

All parents have the right to ask for their child’s record on CPOMS and schools have to prove this by law (I used to work in a school office years back and have seen the requests, it was never done by admin staff - always the SGL or DSGL)

Don’t be daft! I can imagine that a 4/5 year old might say something along the lines of ‘I’m wearing dinosaur underpants today, what pants are you wearing?’ as a harmless conversation. The correct way of managing this in school would be to note it on CPOMS and speak to parents either via a phone call or at home time. The parent of the other child should also be told of the conversation. We would likely follow this type of incident up with a lesson on Pantosaurus.
Seeing as the conversation took place away from school, the school would not be the ones dealing with it.
Parents don’t get to see what’s on CPOMS regarding other children - that WOULD be a safeguarding concern!

If breakfast club is offsite it should have its own Safeguarding process and dsl. Not clear what the link to the school is, does it serve several schools or just the one?

There would be a record linked the ops child and the other children involved . The op would ask to see her child’s log not the other child’s

It's probably innocent but if in doubt report. It's not up to you (or Mumsnet!) to decide if it is a safeguarding concern or not. The school safeguarding team will decide and will have a wider picture e.g. home or family issues, prior incidents etc. Even logging it will be useful if there are ever more incidents in the future.

It’s needs to be recorded and investigated. more as a safeguarding of the child who is asking really. This could be a jigsaw piece in a puzzle that shows a pattern of abuse. Or not but either way it needs to be checked out.

I was wondering if this borders on sexualised behaviour but I think its probably innocent. When I was ten I twiddled my friends brothers willy in the bath whilst his Mum's back was turned but it was an action borne out of curiosity for a part that he had that I didnt and nothing else. This was in the 80's so a completely different world then.

If there is a continued trend in this child's behaviour then it does warrant further investigation.

It really isn’t hugely worrying that a 5 year old would ask this. Schools frequently use the Brooke traffic light system to categorise sexual behaviours for different ages and this would fall in the green, expected behaviour at this age. That doesn’t mean that the issue shouldn’t be addressed. It would be an ideal opportunity to discuss private parts of the body, consent and speaking up/talking to a trusted adult if made to feel uncomfortable.
It should of course be recorded and reported in line with the clubs safeguarding policy.

Just a brief update to say I have a call with the DSL tomorrow to discuss. It sounds like the breakfast club didn’t inform the school about it, so they want to find out what happened there before speaking to me. I’m glad I am speaking to the school, and thanks everyone for you input.

I don’t think it’s that weird or unusual, just childlike curiosity. But I would still inform the DSL and let the parents know.