Would you date a man who paid for sex while married?

[Youreallythinkthatwtf]

Would anyone ever date a man who had paid for prostitutes (behind her back - so cheating) while married to his ex?

I have named changed and been here years.

I wouldn’t touch one with a barge pole tbh. I would make my excuses (politely to remain safe) and never contact him again. I couldn’t find such a man attractive. Maybe I’m judgemental but so be it. I’d feel sick having sex knowing such information. I had a heated debate with a man I know (who said I was judgemental) I said I don’t care.

No absolutely not, wouldn’t date one who paid for sex when he was single either

You'd have to wonder why you would know that. Why did he feel the need to tell you?

Nope. If he lacks the decency to not exploit vulnerable women and lacks the imagination to get some solo fun with his hand in between girlfriends then I wouldn't go near him with a barge hole.

Never

Hard pass. No with all the trimmings.
Such a man lacks integrity, character, trustworthiness, among other qualities.
I married a man who did this during his first marriage. I didn’t learn this until much later (well into our own marriage). But holy shit on steroids did this red flag bite hard! Terrible marriage, terrible man. He was the most selfish, duplicitous, deceptive, destructive individual I’ve ever known.

I love ‘No with all the trimmings’ @DorisTheFinkasaurus 😂

No, My ex told me he had paid for a dance at a lap dancing club ( a long time ago whilst he was single) . He did say he regretted it , but knowing I'm a feminist he would say that. I didn't immediately split up with him but I never really saw him in the same light and it was certainly a contributing factor to me ending the relationship.

No.

Not a chance. Yuk.

Nope! Judgement has its place in discriminating what is good and bad. We are allowed to do it, just helpful to be aware that our judgements can be wrong. In this case yours is spot on, clearly and your friend is talking shite.

To me, it would show that he misses the point of sex, as I see it.

Apart from EVERYTHING else, that fact alone would put me off and I'd never see him again.

No, of course not.

I wouldn't knowingly but why would a man tell you? I'd have thought that would be his secret and he wouldn't want anyone to know.

It is a fact that most men (who aren't perverts), who pay prostitutes are men who are unhappily married or misfits of some kind. They are lonely and want a bit of affection and fantasy for a while. I don't judge them for that but doubt I would know about it.

No but I think we underestimate how happy men are to hide this kind of thing for their friends. Also the propaganda machine is doing a number on gen Z and most the young women I speak to will argue that prostitution is an empowering feminist choice, that trafficked and exploited women are the minority, that if it involves coercion/children/etc it’s not prostitution anyway (no true Scotsman), and that men are victims too.

There’s not much point discussing this with men (beyond cutting people like your friend off). Better to focus on convincing women that it isn’t ok.

I agree that they will lie about it

I went on a date with a guy and the topic of sex workers came up (we were talking about why our previous relationships ended). He then told me a story about how his friends had dragged him to a brothel in Amsterdam but he was so against it that he spent his time with the woman just talking and smoking.... of course you did! 😂

Nope

Nope

No no no no.

Wouldn't touch him with someone else's barge pole, let alone my own!

‘In any capacity’ -my view too.

How would you view this if you were a sex worker i wonder. Would a sex worker want a relationship with a man who had paid for sex at some point? 🤔