Annoying colleague - how to handle?

[goannoysomeoneelse]

Over the years, I've had colleagues who were grumpy, lazy, difficult (and one who was downright toxic), etc.

But I've never had one who was as bloody annoying as this woman!

We're not on the same team but we sit in the same area, and our teams often need to work together, so she's very much a fixture.

Whenever her line manager isn't around, she just won't be quiet - she talks incessantly, it's always a monologue, it's always about her and how clever she is, and it's always incredibly dull. She also has a way of derailing any group conversation that started out as interesting (and/or valuable from a work perspective) and turning it into another monologue about herself.

I actually quite enjoy having a bit of a chat with my colleagues - both about personal and work stuff. But that's not what this is. The other day we all had a lot to get on with and she kept banging on about a film that none of us had ever seen. We were all hinting - very clearly - that she should wrap it up (first by trying to end the conversation and then by staring at our screens and avoiding eye contact) but she kept going and saying, "wait wait wait, you'll want to hear this part too" and at some point I had to say, "actually, no, I don't think we do."

I felt bad - she looked a bit sad afterwards - but it's not just annoying; it legitimately gets in the way of getting work done.

Interestingly, she is very quiet when her line manager is in, so I think she's either been spoken to about it directly or he's been better at the hinting than we have.

My instinct is that she's actually quite harmless - and I feel a bit sorry for her because it feels like it could be loneliness, insecurity, poor social skills, or some mix thereof - but I have to travel to a meeting together with her next week and I'm already dreading it!

While I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, I AM the only one who's the type to ask her to stop (again, apart from maybe her line manager). She's a bit more junior than me, but not to the extent that it would be my place to tell her to be quiet, and I don't want to create an atmosphere or any antagonism. I just want some peace and quiet. But it also feels excessive to speak to someone more senior about it.

How do I handle this without snapping!?

I say speak to her manager. Explain what's happening - that she's distracting you all from your work. I don't think you need go into the fact it's all about her, just explain the general chat is distracting when people are trying to work, and she isn't sticking to work topics in work conversations.

For your journey next week, I would take noise-cancelling headphones and be upfront with her - you don't want to chat because you have work to get on with (if you will be working on the journey) or you will be mentally preparing for the meeting and need to concentrate.

First do you absolneed to travel with her. ?
Why can't you go independently.?
Re the work place chat.
Could you try to steer a middle course.
Not telling her what to do or not do ie talk.
But rather state your own needs eg
I must get on now.
I need to concentrate.
Or pick up the phone and look very busy.
Or break it up by going to the loo.
While there you could splash your face with cold water and walk out with renewed determination.
Single minded.
Focused as if in
aural blinkers on
The Task.

good luck

are you allowed to wear headphones in work?
If so, just put them on. If not try literally just turning around and concentrating on the screen, or walk off mid sentence. If nobody is paying any attention to her with no encouragement at all surely she won't continue talking? e.g. in your example if 'wait you'll want to hear this bit...' was followed by complete silence and nobody even looking at her she'd not continue?

Basically stop hinting and just ignore her completely or say something generic like "sorry Amy, I have to get back to work now," or "just need to pop to the loo/for a drink" and walk off. Cut across her while she's in full flow if necessary. It might feel a bit rude but a) she is also being rude by imposing her opinion on you when it clearly isn't wanted and b) even if it's abrupt it isn't actually as bad as saying 'No we don't want to listen to you.' Key, it's nothing she could complain about to her manager - she can't moan that you want to focus on work rather than chat.